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Shaneetha B Akinlana

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   Recent articles by
Shaneetha B Akinlana

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Black Male And Female Relationships Part 2
by Shaneetha B Akinlana   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Friday, October 16, 2009
Posted: Thursday, October 15, 2009

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Black Male and Female Relationships Part.2

                Black Male And Female Relationships  part 2

We have taken a good look at the past experiences  in Black male and female relationship in part one. Now let's 'project our selves to the future and see where the great possibilities lie for us all. The truth is black men and women relationship can work ,and do work. With any relationship,or marriage black, white or, purple,  there is no magic formula for making it work. It takes a lot of trust, commitment, open honest communciation and and the act of being vulnerable to each other. Let's not leave out  respect, and unconditional love. I have found that the best relationships come about when the person or persons learn to love themsevles first. It is a prerequisite for loving relationships of any kind.

I hear a lot of black men say it's hard dealing with monogamy.There are so many beautiful black sisters out there that need a man, any man , including your man or husband.They comment they are only helping out the sisters in need in our communities,and the women don't need to be alone. Their huge ego tell's them if one is good   for them, two is even better,and three is a smorgasbord.

 Often times Infidelity is a common word in our neighborhoods.But  the black women must bare some of the responsibility for their own thinking ;The women say that all black men cheat. that's not true . I know many men who  love their women and wives, and would never think of cheating. Women! what you see is what you Get,But if all you are seeing is negativity in your man. Then what you are seeing is what you had better FORGET.

Black women must begin to see their men in a better light. My word to you  Sistahs,  begins with respect of other sistahs. When you know a man is married or in any other significant relationship, JUST SAY NO!  Put a penny between your knees and walk away with some pride and dignity. find your own man.  If you help and destroy someone's relationship. some one will come along one day and destroy yours. It's called good old karma. Or you reap what you sow. It won't feel good when turn about is fair play and it happens to you.

Women we must help our men deal with the frustrations that this society as laid upon them. Women try nuturing  your man more. Try relinquishing some of the control in the home without fear that they will mess up or leave. Don't nag. Men hate nags. When it is time to discuss things, play fair and listen to what they have to say.You may learn something you did't know about how he is really feeling about you and life.

There are a lot of black females out there that make more money then their men, and they get an attitude.I believe it is better to have a man that will work , than  try and handle everything on your own. Being miss independent can surely make you  lose a good relationship. Do you want to go it alone?  There are some black women who feel their men are beneath them because of their job titles and degrees. What a shameful mistake.

 I believe most black men want to work. Men just naturally love their jobs. Men love to take care of their women and families. It makes them feel good about themselves and boost their self-esteem. Balance is the key here.  Gently and tenderly lead each other up ward toward success. Make your relationships a win, win situtation.

Women  be smart, don't  withold sex as a form of control. I will assure you if you don't give your man some cookies. Somebody else will . Not only will they give him some cookies, but some milk too. Sex is meant to be shared by two lovers , not used as a weapon to control and manipulate the other person.

Remember the old saying from Proverbs 31.10-11. Who can find a virituuous women? For  her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth trust her, so that he have no need of spoilto be continued in Part 3





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Reviewed by mary mitchell (Reader) 2/4/2010
I do believe in the statement, behind every great man is a women.I think we have got a miss understanding of what a strong black women mean. It does not mean strong enough to wear the pant, but strong enough to build your men up to be what God intented him to be with your help. Also to love him in away that he feel he is loved. Which in this article it says you must love your self. Because if you dont love your self you will not know how to love him. And loving your self does not mean getting your hair done

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