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Graham whittaker

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· Picking Up Peas With Chopsticks

· The Butterfly Effect

· The Girl From Kosovo


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By Graham whittaker
Last edited: Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Posted: Tuesday, November 27, 2007

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Recent articles by
Graham whittaker

• What is a futurist
• People
• Passion - a reflection
• Is This What I Have Feared All My Life?
• England My England!
           >> View all 12
Internet dating might be the new way to score...but you can't beat good old fashioned flirting


I’m a Baby Boomer.  I won’t open my ancient Oxford dictionary to give the precise definition of one. First, because it’s a pre-baby boomer edition and second, because these days my eyesight is slipping and I can’t read the 4 point font.


So,  Wikipedia describes a  boomer as someone born between 1946 and 1964.   I’d like to say I just scrape in… but no. I’m definitely in the thick of the baby boomer era.  And I’m back in the dating circuit.


When I say back in the dating circuit,  I was never actually out of it.  I’m an incorrigible flirt. I realized I had this skill when I was 8 years old. I had to decide which one of a pair of identical twin boys I would allow to kiss me behind the bike shed at school.  So I did what any incorrigible flirt would do, and  let them both kiss me at the same time.  One on each cheek.  I’m not sure if this paved the way for some  long-standing, as yet unfulfilled adult fantasies, but lets not go there.


Strangely,  for some, flirting doesn’t come naturally. Don’t worry, I think I can help.  Perhaps you’re fresh back onto the dating circuit and your long term memory is not what it used to be. You may be bored with your current relationship.  What if  you’ve always wanted to test your powers of attraction? Baby boomers gather round.   If you think you’ve reached your “use-by” date, think again.  At the risk of sounding clichéd, life does actually begin at 40. Previous decades have been a mere rehearsal for what’s to come.   If you don’t believe me,  why not try the handy tips below.   


Some basic rules to lure your prey into your lair…

You don’t have to be attractive or sexy to charm the socks off a member of the opposite sex.  Nor does your intended victim necessarily need to be a god or goddess. Sometimes flirting is fuelled by the most simple of all fascinations – pure chemistry. Give in to it.  Go with it. We’re animals aren’t we? Besides that... we’re baby boomers and we’re running out of time.


  • If you’ve got it, flaunt it.  Of course, not everyone has it. After all, while I did say life begins at 40, some people’s assets may have depreciated considerably over the years.  You could make the best of cleavage, bulging biceps and great pins if you have them.  But if breast feeding, varicose veins and a few too many slabs of VB have taken their toll, a  smile can sometimes work as well. 


  • The secret to sex appeal, and thereby flirting successfully  is confidence.  Confidence is about the only thing you can’t buy on e-bay, (although this may have changed since I last checked) Don’t worry, you can fake it.


Most people lack confidence because they think they’re too something.  Too old, too unattractive, too dumb, too unfunny, too nerdy or too boring.  There are a number of things that can help with confidence.  The most common is a drink.  Alcoholic.   And I don’t mean get rotten drunk then blurt out an insane pick up line. A glass  of wine, beer  or champagne, sipped slowly will usually help dissolve inhibitions enough to proceed in a forwardly direction.


  •  Whomever you decide to flirt with will almost certainly have something that stands out. Something that attracted you in the first place.  An item of clothing perhaps.  A killer smile. An amazing resemblance to Barry Gibb, or Linda Rhonstadt.  Gorgeous hair, or full, luscious lips.  Something about their conversation that’s mesmerized you into getting to know them better.  Maybe they smell nice. Compliment them.   Once the compliment is out, the flirting has begun.  


  • Bad body language sends powerful signals.  Examples of bad body language: 


Standing with your arms crossed (makes you look defensive and ready to kick butt).


Shrugging your shoulders ( you just don’t care)  


Flicking or playing with your hair (a dead giveaway for anxiety and lack of confidence). 


Chewing your fingernails (nervousness…and very unhygenic). 


Foot tapping (damn you’re impatient!)


  • Good body language is like having two voices singing your praises instead of one. Lets face it, all good songs have a melody and a harmony.


Use your hands when you speak  Like a good orchestra conductor, there’s more chance that your prey will notice and remember you if you’re animated. Just be careful not to knock a drink in someone’s lap while you’re making your point. 


Make eye contact. But not for too long…just till you say what you have to say, then look away.  E.g. “I’m really interested to hear your opinion on equine influenza”


Break through their invisible wall.  People often stand inside a sphere of personal space.  Don’t be afraid to step into this space for a moment by touching a hand, shoulder or shaking hands with a firm grasp. Not to mention that you may get to feel a rock hard bicep while you’re at it.


If all else fails…try Flirt In A Bottle…

If none of the above tips are doing it for you, then perhaps you could invest in pheromones.  Now these you CAN buy on e-bay.   Pheromones are body chemicals that trigger a natural behavioural response in other members of the same species. Sort of like your own personal magic love potion.  Our body secretes these pheromones naturally when we perspire, or become excited,  aroused, or even remotely interested in a member of the opposite sex.  (See reference to “pure chemistry” above) 

But hey,  what self respecting baby boomer would knock  back a little help?   Do these love potions work?   You’ll have to Google that for yourself.  Even a hard core flirt like me can’t disclose all her secrets…





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Reviewed by Julie Donner Andersen 2/4/2008
Finally! Someone who gives me permission to knock back a few to cope with my inadequacies!! LOL

Dora, this was bang on! Enjoyed immensely!

Reviewed by Felix Perry 11/28/2007
Love the tips Dora and as an incorrigiable flirt myself (I even flirt when I am in my seasonal job as Santa, LOL) I know you are giving sound advice. There is a new country song on the charts and it is about a guy who is 5'4" overweight and lives with his parents but on line he becomes quite a catch...this article brought that to mind. By the way what was your email addie? LOL

Books by
Graham whittaker

Picking Up Peas With Chopsticks

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The Girl From Kosovo

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The Butterfly Effect


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