To be "safe", to feel "safe"...what does that mean? why is it so important? This is not a finished work…it is just some random thoughts on an interesting subject that affects all of us…
The Risk of “Safe”
What is safe?Safe is a feeling and really a false sense of security created by thoughts.
Safe is a walled fortress in our minds where we can hide from any person, place or thing that might cause us emotional, spiritual, mental or physical pain.
What thoughts drive us to a place and need for safety?
First, thoughts of fear come from experiences and associations with past people, places or things that “caused” pain or that we perceived “caused” the pain that are somehow triggered in the present moment.
Second, thoughts of fear come from the future…having an attachment to a particular outcome that we want, but have little control over.
Safe is directly linked to the ego.It is selfish.It helps us maintain control.
God already promised to protect and provide for us; so to emotionally, spiritually or mentally retreat into our “fortress” is a lack of faith and trust.
Apart from God, there is no such thing as “safe”, it is an illusion.To try to orchestrate safety into our lives is not trusting our lives to God.
What does it mean to be in a “safe” relationship?Putting overtly abusive behavior aside, a safe relationship is almost an oxymoron.All relationships have risk and without risk there is no concept of safety.One term helps to define the other just as we wouldn’t understand or appreciate light if there wasn’t darkness.
So is a safe relationship one where no one “gets hurt”?There is no such relationship.Healthy relationships by definition imply growing and growing involves risk and growing pains.Growing pains such as miscommunication, misunderstanding, dishonesty, anger (unfulfilled expectations), fear, commitment, etc.
To open one’s heart to love is to risk pain.To close one’s heart to love to avoid the possibility of pain while still seeking to be loved is energetically impossible and goes against the Law of Attraction.It is a two way street.
There is something deep in each of us that wants to be loved for who we are without pretense or performance attached to it.We want to be known and accepted and loved by other human beings.But with that desire comes risk…it is not a “safe” desire.
Safe is staying in a self-conceived “comfort zone”.Personal and spiritual growth is always outside our comfort zones.So safe and growth don’t go together either.Awareness threatens the illusion of safe.
The more enlightened one becomes to trusting a benevolent God and generous Universe, the less need there is to retreat to the illusion of safe.
Ultimately, the very heart we try to protect in our safe fortress becomes stone itself…lifeless, non-feeling and cold.We transfer our life-support system from our heart to our head.It’s safer there.It’s more controllable there.There is less pain.We only remember our heart when once in a while something touches it and feelings seep up to the surface to remind us of our real self.
Life is risk.This world is not safe.Relationships are not safe.Love is not safe.Trust is not safe.But the alternative is to try to self-protect and slowly lose a sense of who I am, what I want, what my passions are.
I become out of touch with my own power and intuition.I construct a “safe” box to live in and I surround myself with other people who have constructed similar boxes because that affirms my safe, box-life.
Perhaps then, “safe” or the illusion of safety is one of the most damaging or riskiest places for the heart.
The heart soars in the river of risk.It shrinks back in the cesspool of safe.
The good news is that the heart will find a way.It is extremely determined to risk, to feel, to stretch, to grow, to live its passions, to reach out, to hope, to trust, to love, to desire, to dream.
We can run from it into our minds and live a lonely, numb, pain-free, controlled, safe existence, but we will never know happiness, fulfillment, love or freedom.
I choose heart…I choose risk…I choose love…I choose to live in the now…I choose to trust God and know that I can handle whatever pain this path may bring.