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Sarah J Beara

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How to Properly Have an Argument
by Sarah J Beara   

Last edited: Wednesday, November 20, 2002
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2002

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Fighting is not the answer. Ever. But if you must do it, here are some do's and don'ts of how to have a proper argument. I'm no phyciatrist but I've been through a lot of arguments so I think this article is pretty acurate :)


1.Don't Bring up past arguments- It never ever helps to argue about stuff in the past, or to pin something someone did in the past on them.Thats just plain not fair.

2. Don't ever get physical-Hitting and kicking is not cool. It just proves that you are immature.

3.Don't keep talking after the other person walks away or says "just drop it" This obviously means that they don't want to argue anymore and you should respect their desicion to walk away.

4.Don't say "no your not" after someone says they're sorry- Apologizing is the key to an argument. If the person sounds sincere, saying sorry is the best thing either of you could do. Stating that the person is not telling the truth could lead to another argument.


1.State why you are mad - If the person you are arguing with doesn't know why you are mad, yelling at them isn't going to do anything but make them mad too.

2. Let them know what they can change-Help out this person a little, give them some advice on what they could do to make the situation better.

3. Let them know what you are willing to change- Everyone has to make compromises in order for an argument to be solved, its usually best if you give in first.

4.Never use the way the persons religion or skin color as an excuse- This is not something this person can help, Making fun of either of these things could seriously hurt someone and then you have a whole different kind of argument to worry about.
5. And finally, always end your argument in saying you're sorry- Saying you're sorry is the only real way to solve an argument, mabye even offer a hug to really make sure the person knows that everything is better.If you're not ready to apologize, then your argument isn't over.

Well, thats all of my advice. I hope it becomes helpful in the future. If you have anything to add to my list say so and I will add it and make sure you get credit for it. Remember, I'm no doctor laura, I'm just a teenager, but I truly think this is the proper way to have an argument. :)
Comments from readers
1.Let it go,when the converstion is over, its over.

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Reviewed by Peter Benson
Very good insights. I would also suggest "Let the argument go, when it's's over." Probably the most important thing I ever learned.
Reviewed by Peter Benson
That's a very good start. I give you a ~~~15~~~ on your Dont's and a ~~~5~~~ on your Do's (I won't say why because I don't want to argue). So that's a big ~~~TEN~~~ for you.

Never stop writing,

Reviewed by Kacie Rahm
Great job Sarah, this is VERY accurate.
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