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Dr. Mirline Lozis-Polynice

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A Psych-Educational Intervention program for Courtship Violence
by Dr. Mirline Lozis-Polynice   
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Posted: Wednesday, January 27, 2010

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Dr. Mirline Lozis-Polynice

Ethics and Professional Issues for
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Mirline Lozis-Polynice, PhD
Mental Health Counselor



Teen dating violence is a sensitive topic and many students and teachers are uncomfortable discussing sexual topics. In order for teacher to become familiar with the subject area and lesson plans, they will need to consider:

a) Students reaction to the topic
b) Prepare themselves for difficult and sensitive questions from students
c) Knowledgeable of the topic they are going to discuss
d) Be creative in making students feeling comfortable

In this section will have information that will help with these tasks.

Consideration needs to be given to cultural sensitivity. In some cultures, sexual education is an offense and is not considered appropriate. Make sure that students may participate in classroom activities in their own ways.

“Taking care of yourself” while teaching this material! Laughter and a good sense of humor is on of the best way to maintain a healthy perspective

This curriculum is a psycho educational intervention program. The purpose of this curriculum is designed to help students to avoid and prevent abusive relationships as well as recognize behaviors that constitute abuse. The students will be able to identify risks factors for involvement in abusive relationships and reflect on dating values.

Students will have 4 Weeks of learning about preventive measures of courtship violence and 4 weeks of intervention which will be a magazine that they will put together

Required for all High school students:

Time Required: Will occur daily for a regular class period of roughly 50 minutes

Materials: Butcher paper, felt tips pens and masking tape for small group


Objective: Students and teachers will know each other and will fell more comfortable discussing teen dating violence/rape. Students will be able to define dating violence and identify myths and facts about victims, offenders and the situations in which abuse may occur. They will have an idea about the goal of the program where they will put together a magazine at the end of the program.

Day 1/ Week 1/ Monday

A- Teacher introduction

Teacher will give his name and have a brief introduction of her or his credential

B- Student introduction

Give students pen and papers to write their name and go around the class and each of them will introduce themselves.

C- Project: Magazine

Talk about the magazine they will be putting together and talk to them about parents consent. Pass them copy of the letter where each parents will contribute for the cost of printing the magazines. Discussed the letter and other ideas might come together to write the letter.
At the same time took ideas from each of the students in order to get fund each school and community is different.

D- Acknowledge Difficulty in Talking About Topic

Tell students that everyone feels uncomfortable to talk about dating violence and sexual abuse. (Acknowledging your own discomfort should help you and your students participate in this activity and future discussion about dating violence) Explain that while discussing geography or math might be easier, the prevention of date violence is important and talking about it is the first step in preventing it.

1 Ask students to tell you what they think about teen dating violence is. Also ask them what they want to know. Summarize their comments with the following definition: Dating violence is the sexual, physical, emotional and psychological abuse of one partner by the other in a dating relationship. (you may want to define each of these acts. See Appendix 2

2 Divide the class into small groups. Instruct each group to select someone to record the group answers

3 Each group to generate and write on butcher paper a list of reasons why it is difficult to talk about dating violence. Give group 5-10 minutes for this task.

4 Reconvene class and ask each recorder to review their group’s list. Ask each subsequent recorder to comment only on those reasons not previously shared.

• Physical Abuse: This includes aggression such as kicking, biting, choking, hitting, and beating up, threatening to use a gun, knife, or other weapons.
• Emotional or Psychological Abuse: This encompasses any verbal or nonverbal forms of communication intended to cause psychological pain. These can include: yelling, screaming, insulting and cursing, public humiliation and intimidation, treating one's partner in an inferior manner, controlling the partner's behaviors, threatening, and manipulating with false accusations.
• Economic Exploitation: This comprises behaviors such as stealing, damaging or destroying property, threatening to take money, or forcing partner to pay solely for items that are to be shared.
• Alcohol and Drug Abuse: Use of drugs and alcohol are often associated with dating violence. An example is a partner being forced to ride in a car with a driver under the influences of substances while on a date.
• Unwanted Sexual Contact: This involves forced sexual activity, which may include a partner engaging in sexual activity for fear of being physically hurt.”
• Threatening to use physical and sexual violence was also a form of intimidation used.
• Acts of force included violence behaviors like twisting their arms, pinching bodies, shoving, and poking with sharp instruments.
• Or See Appendix 2

E- Group Rules for Talking about Dating Violence
Explain to students that the second step to making discussion about dating violence the easy way is to set some ground rules.
Ask students to volunteer rules. Write their suggestions on the blackboard or butcher paper.
Add to the list any rules listed below that the students have not stated.
Add any of your rules not already listed.
Ask student if they agree to stick to these rules. Ask them to help you to make sure that everyone abides by them.
Suggested ground rules:
• No. preaching, no putting downs of other’s comments or views.
• No question is “dumb.” Questions indicate a desire for knowledge. They do not tell you anything about the person asking the question.
• If you have a complaint about the class, come directly to the teacher to discuss it.
• No talking about class members outside the classroom.
• It Ok for the teacher to blush, feel embarrassed or not know answers to questions.
• It OK for students to blush, feel embarrassed or be uncomfortable.
• Everyone has the right to pass on activities or questions they do not wish to answer. The teacher may choose not to answer a question in front of the class.
• Teacher will respect the confidentiality ground rule as well, except where he or she is required by law to disclose information. (Some teachers also include in this ground rule that they will not be able to maintain confidentiality if what is shared is illegal or dangerous to the student.)
• Discuss with your parents the issues raised in class and give an accurate account. Do not sensationalize.

Day 2/ Week1/ Tuesday
A- Group Rules for Talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other
B- Acknowledging Discomfort by doing a brief review of the day before.
C- Introduction: Only in the past of few years’ people begun to talk about dating violence. Because no one talked about dating violence because it happen more with teenager and people that are not married. A lot of myths and misunderstandings have developed regarding dating violence. Explain the objective of the activity and overview the procedure.
1. Ask students to give a definition of dating violence/date rape. Validate their definition and add anything they leave out. (On definition for dating violence according to the Melrose against Violence, teen dating violence occurs when one individual demonstrated controlling behaviors; that can range from verbal and emotional abuse, physical assault, to murder and rape). In the book “Coping with Dating Violence”, Nancy Rue (1989) says teen violence is “the intentional use of physical, verbal, or emotional force to attack to control and maintain power over another person by frightening and intimidating them (p.17).”
2. Divide the class into groups. Ask one group to list on butcher paper what they have heard about who a dating violence victim is and why some one is abused. Ask the other group to list who the dating violence offender is and why they abuse. Ask the other group to list types of situations in which dating violence might happen (e.g., where, when, how). Tell them to appoint a recorder to share the lists with the large group.
3. Reconvene the class, post the lists and ask recorder to share them.
4. Pass out Myths and Facts about Dating Violence. Let’s look at what people often think happens during dating violence (myths) and what we know actually happens (facts). Review the facts about dating violence.
5. The Myths and Facts Questionnaire teacher’s Guide. Share these with the students. See appendix 2-2

Day 3/ Week1/ Wednesday
A- Group Rules for Talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other
B- Acknowledging Discomfort by doing a brief review of the day before.
C- Distribute Resources and information using the Patriot Ledger see appendix III and discuss the topic openly.
1. Appendix III talked about A VICTIM SPEAKS Against her will by Karen Eschbacher.
Story1 is about a 22 years old talking about being raped by one of her best friends when she was 18 years old. She is now in college.
After reading the story, teacher will ask students for feedbacks and will take 20 minutes talking about other stories they may know.
2. After the session teacher will pass out appendix 4 also by Karen Eschbacher from Patriot Ledger.
This handout will talk about Mutual respect. Story of a teen that have positive dating relationship where they show that the key of maintaining a healthy relationship is not becoming isolated. For instance most of the relationship seems to shut the partner off from their friends, they can find themselves cut off from family and friends, and giving up activities that were once important to them. In the most extreme cases, such behaviors can lead to violence.
D- Distribute Survey for homework
See appendix 5. Question 1-6 were adapted from Saunders et al.’s Inventory of belief about wife beating, 1987. And question 1-12 were adapted from Kershner’s rape attitudes scale, 1996.

"I think after a girl was raped the thought goes to her head, 'Was I really raped?'
A lot of rape victims keep it secret because they're so embarrassed."
- Victoria, a high school senior

Teen Attitudes Toward Dating and Sexual Abuse

© 2002 The Patriot Ledger
See Survey Results
SERIES CONTENTS | DAY 1 | DAY 2 STORIES: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | DAY 3

Silence and secrets
Error processing SSI file
By Dina Gerdeman
The Patriot Ledger
When Anna was 14, she was afraid to tell her parents she was sexually assaulted after a high school dance, afraid she might get in trouble for drinking beer or being alone with a boy in his car.
So she kept the horrible secret hidden - and she suffered the consequences.
“I walked around with that for years,’’ said Anna, a South Shore woman who is now in her late 40s. “If I had told them back then ... I wouldn’t have been so afraid and so socially stilted.”
Anna, whose name has been changed, had a great time at the school dance. Afterward she left with a group of friends to hang out and drink. Anna had one beer. Then an older boy, a popular football player who sat next to her in a foreign language class, offered to drive the group home.
“He drove everybody else home but me,’’ she said. “I kept saying, ‘There’s where you turn for my house.’’’
The boy suggested they go park somewhere and listen to music.
A red flag went up briefly in Anna’s mind, but she quickly brushed it aside. She wasn’t late for curfew, she thought, so why should she feel uneasy?
It started innocently enough with some kissing, but then the boy started going too far, and he wouldn’t stop.
“I remember saying, ‘No, I don’t want you to do this,’ and ‘no’ having no meaning,’’ she said.
He drove her home without saying a word. She opened the door to a silent home - her parents were already asleep - and she took her secret to bed.
A couple of months later, she worked up the courage to tell an older girlfriend, and she asked the friend for advice: Should she tell her parents, should she report her attacker?
The girlfriend said no, that she should keep it to herself because no one would believe her, and she would probably get in trouble if she told.
Hearing those words was like a slap in the face - and further confirmation in her mind that she was the one who had done something wrong.
“After she told me I would get in trouble, I felt that I would be shunned,’’ she said. “This guy was a big man on campus, a football star.”
Anna sunk into a deep depression. She cried all the time and had panic attacks. She stopped going to school dances, grew quiet around her friends and shied away from boys, and she constantly thought about killing herself.
“He drove everybody else home but me. I kept saying, ‘There’s where you turn for my house.’’’
– Anna
It didn’t help that she had to face her attacker every day in school. He continued to sit next to her in the foreign language class for the rest of the year.
Anna worked every day at masking her sadness.
“I tried to pull myself together so nobody would think I did anything wrong,’’ she said. “I was a good actress. I was hiding it pretty well.”
Now she wishes her parents had pressed her, had insisted she tell them what was wrong.
Or better yet, she wishes she had had the courage to tell them.
She finally did tell her parents in her early 20s when she sought therapy to deal with the assault.
“It was a huge relief to be able to shred the shroud of secrecy,’’ she said. “So much of its power in terms of being able to hurt me was gone.”
Anna feels she has put the incident behind her, but more than 30 years later, talking about the assault makes her uneasy.
“I haven’t talked about it in detail for years,’’ Anna said. “It’s still hard to talk about.”
Anna regrets that she didn’t report her attacker. Now she has to wonder about the boy. Did he assault other women in college?
Besides, she feels she could have saved herself a lot of pain if she hadn’t kept the assault bottled up inside.
“Once I was able to tell my parents, I could work through the issues and move on to have healthy, normal, intimate relationships.”
Dina Gerdeman may be reached at

"More relationships with teens today seem to shut the partner off from their friends. They feel like they exclusively are supposed to be with them."
- Ann Phelps, head nurse in Rockland schools

Teen Attitudes Toward Dating and Sexual Abuse

© 2002 The Patriot Ledger
See Survey Results
SERIES CONTENTS | DAY 1 STORIES: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | DAY 2 | DAY 3

Makes it work

DEBEE TLUMACKI/The Patriot Ledger
Arianna Hibbard greets her boyfriend, Joe Muir, outside Weymouth High School. They are both juniors.
By Karen Eschbacher
The Patriot Ledger
When 18-year-old Michelle Sonia started taking yoga classes earlier this year as a way to relieve stress, her boyfriend decided to join her.
Now, Michelle and Andy Whelan, 17, spend part of each Sunday at the Hanson Holistic Center practicing breathing and stretching.
When Michelle had a track meet on a recent Tuesday night, Andy was there. The next night, Michelle returned the favor and watched Andy run at his meet.
But for all the time they spend together, the high school seniors, who have been dating for more than a year, insist that they still have their own friends and interests.
Michelle attends Notre Dame Academy in Hingham, and Andy goes to Xaverian Brothers in Westwood, meaning they spend most of the day apart and with other friends.
The couple estimates that they see each other about three times a week. Sometimes they grab dinner at Bertucci’s; other times they just hang out at home.
Michelle, who lives in Hanson, and Andy, of Abington, say that balance of supporting each other while maintaining their own identities is what makes their relationship work.
“Michelle is very important to me but I’m not going to become emotionally dependent on her,” said Andy, who will attend Northeastern University in the fall. “She’s really important...”
“... But there are other things that are important, too,” interjected Michelle, who is heading to Harvard. “I think it’s back to not having the same personality. We have different interests.”
“We have a lot of the same friends, but we have a lot of separate friends, too. We can hang out together but we can also hang out apart.”
– Arianna Hibbard
High school relationships are getting serious at increasingly younger ages, sometimes before teenagers are mature enough to deal with them, experts say. The result can be unhealthy, and in some cases, dangerous.
“I think that more relationships with teens today seem to shut the partner off from their friends,” said Ann Phelps, head nurse in Rockland schools. “They feel like they exclusively are supposed to be with them.”
As a result, teens can find themselves cut off from family and friends, and giving up activities that were once important to them, Phelps said. In the most extreme cases, such behavior can lead to violence, she said.
But Michelle and Andy’s relationship is a reminder that, more often than not, that isn’t the case.
Though problems like dating violence and date rape can be found in high schools across the South Shore, teenagers say healthy relationships are much more common than destructive ones.
Arianna Hibbard, a junior at Weymouth High School, has been dating junior Joe Muir for three months.
Arianna, who as a peer facilitator talks to eighth- and 10th-graders about teen dating violence, said she thinks the key to maintaining a healthy relationship is not to become isolated.
Arianna is a cheerleader and takes karate classes, and Joe plays lacrosse and hockey. They both work at separate jobs.
“We have a lot of the same friends, but we have a lot of separate friends, too,” she said. “It’s good. We can hang out together but we can also hang out apart.”
Karen Eschbacher may be reached at

"If you sleep with someone and four days later you break up
and all of a sudden she's feeling guilty, she can say it's rape.'
- Joe, 16

Teen Attitudes Toward Dating and Sexual Abuse

© 2002 The Patriot Ledger
See Survey Results
SERIES CONTENTS | DAY 1 | DAY 2 STORIES: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | DAY 3

Parents, police among the last to know

DEBEE TLUMACKI/The Patriot Ledger
By Dina Gerdeman
The Patriot Ledger
It was an unwanted kiss and not at all innocent.
An 18-year-old girl drank too much at a party, passed out and woke up to find a stranger kissing her on the lips.
The girl knows the boy shouldn’t have kissed her. But she didn’t report him or tell her parents, fearing they would make a big deal over it.
Yet the kiss scared and confused her. Even though she was unconscious, she still felt partly responsible.
“Maybe I didn’t say no. I didn’t stop it,’’ she said. “It was my fault that I got so intoxicated that I don’t remember what I was saying or not saying.”
Teenage girls aren’t telling their parents or police when they are sexually assaulted or raped, often because they feel less like victims than accessories to the crime. And they are worried that others will blame them as much as they blame themselves because of the clothes they wore, the beer they drank or the boys they hung around with.
A Patriot Ledger survey of 527 students conducted for this series found that very few high school girls - only 17 percent - would tell a parent if they were raped. Most girls, nearly 70 percent, would tell a friend instead.
Girls are even less likely to notify the authorities - only 3 percent said they would call police, 2 percent would tell a counselor and 1 percent would call a rape center.
Many of the students surveyed - 18 percent of boys and 19 percent of girls - said they knew people who had been raped and did not report it to police.
Victoria, 18, one of 10 teenagers who participated in a Patriot Ledger focus group discussion, said a lot of rape victims keep the incidents quiet because they’re embarrassed and confused. The names of the focus group members have been changed to protect their privacy.
Victoria said if she was raped, she would tell her parents. But other girls said they wouldn’t feel comfortable.
“I know my parents would listen, but I know a friend wouldn’t necessarily jump to conclusions,’’ Jocelyn, 18, said. “There’s so many different emotions, being afraid, ashamed, guilty. (With a friend) you can take it one step at a time. With your parents, it’s like we’re automatically calling police.”
Sue, 17, said her friend was raped by an ex-boyfriend who came to her home, held her down and had sex with her, then got up and left. But the friend didn’t want to report the rape because “she was afraid of there being a huge deal about it legally.”
The girl was also afraid her claims wouldn’t be taken seriously when people found out she had slept with the boy before they broke up. Besides, the girl was confused herself.
“Initially she didn’t use the word rape,’’ said Sue, who encouraged her friend to report the crime. “That’s what makes it such a gray area. It’s someone you know and you’re friends with and you had sex with before.’’
Sometimes a victim's fears come true : people choose the side of their attacker, and blame them.
After high school boys in Braintree and Canton were accused of rape, some classmates circulated petitions to try to keep them in school and questioned whether the girls were just trying to get them in trouble.
Some teens in the focus group were upset that students rallied around the boys. “My benefit of the doubt always goes to the girl,” Jocelyn said. “If she says she was raped, I don’t care about her past. If you say no, it’s no.’’
But even teens who firmly believe that no should always mean no also admit that they may wonder whether a girl who reports a rape is lying.
“If you sleep with someone and four days later you break up and all of a sudden she’s feeling guilty, she can say it’s rape,’’ Joe, 16, said.
A girl’s reputation appears to be key in whether she gains support from other teens after reporting a rape.
“A girl (in my school) who was very easy went around and pressed charges against a kid for raping her,’’ Victoria said. “Everyone supported the boy because of her status.”
Charges of statutory rape can also seem confusing to teens, since a girl may agree to sex but still be too young to legally consent. The teens in the focus group didn’t have a problem with setting the age limit at 16.
Yet after hearing that the boys in the Braintree and Canton cases were charged with statutory rape in addition to other charges, Ryan wonders whether a boy could get in trouble for having sex with a girl he didn’t know was underage.
“This is the stuff that scares me,’’ he said. “If two people are at a party, if they’re drunk, he could be charged with rape. I’m scared to death to go near a girl. If your name is ever associated with rape, you’re done.”
The teens say it’s natural to have some doubt about whether to believe the attacker or victim. After all, there are usually no witnesses to a rape.
“It’s between the guy and the girl before they do it,’’ Victoria said. “No one knows.”
Dina Gerdeman may be reached at
Top of Page | Return to Series Summary

Where do you get information about sex?
______School ______Parents ______Siblings ______Other Family/ Relatives
______Friends ______Dating Partner ______Media: ______Television
______Movies ______Magazines _______Other________________________
Where do you get information about dating relationship?
______School ______Parents ______Siblings ______Other Family/ Relatives
______Friends ______Dating Partner ______Media ______Television
______Movies ______Magazines _______Other________________________
Please circle the number that best corresponds to your opinion for each item
1=Strongly Agree 2=Agree 3=Slightly Agree 4=Neither Agree or Disagree
5=Slightly Disagree 6=Disagree 7=Strongly Disagree
1. A person has no right to hit/kick/punch their partner, even if the partner has broken agreements that were made between them.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
2. Even when someone lies to their partner, they do not deserve to get hit/kicked/punched.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
3. A sexually unfaithful partner deserves to get hit/kicked/punches.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
4. Occasional violence in a dating relationship can help maintain relationship.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
5. There is no excuse for someone hitting/kicking/punching their partner.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
6. A person who constantly refuses to have sex with their partner is asking to be hit/kicked/punched.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
7. Women are often portrayed as sex objects in the media.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8. Stranger rape is a more serious crime than date rape.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
9. Some girls encourage rape just by the way they dress.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
10. The best relationship are those in which the man is in control.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
11. Strong men do not cry.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
12. Women should not ask men out on dates.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Reverse Scored (1, 2,5,7)
*Higher score = more negative, accepting attitudes toward violence/ rape; less gender stereotyping
Lower score = more positive accepting attitudes toward violence/ rape; more gender stereotyping

Day 4/ Week 1/ Thursday
A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other
B- Acknowledging Discomfort by doing a brief review of the day before.
C- Watch Video on Teen dating violence (tile of the video)
D- Discussion of the video and question:
What do you feel about this story?
Do you know stories that look the same like this one?
- Teacher will listen to each comment and take note of relevant information.
- Ask students for homework which is the survey questions.

Day 5/ Week1/ Friday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Discuss result of the survey and distribute the Patriot Ledger Teen Survey by Dina Gerdeman.

This survey is a Patriot Ledger survey of 547 high school students conducted for this series found that 7% of boys said it was OK to force a girl to have sex on a date and 20% of the boys said it was OK or sometimes OK to force a girl to have sex if they were dating and had sex in the past. And 15% said it was OK to use force if the girl consented but change her mind. And 11% said It was Ok of the girl was drunk which make it 53% of boys thinks is was OK.

C- Open discussion on topic of student’s choice

D- Redirected students to talk about the media and their thoughts about the media’s influence on people behaviors.

Homework: Ask students to bring popular magazines, newsprint, glue, chalkboard to class next week. Ask them to look for pictures that portrait men and women as a something that society want them to be.


Objective: Students will identify themes in advertising that may influence attitude about dating violence, sexuality and date rape.
Students will identify messages in music that may contribute to the incidence of dating violence and date rape.

Day 1 / Week 2 / Monday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.
B- Discussions about critical thinking regarding the media

Diciphering the difference between the image in the media and real life.

Talk about self esteem and the way the images in the media make people feel.

Explain to students that what we see in television, movies, videos and magazines often affects what we buy, how we behave and what we think we need in order to fit in. Many advertisements are filled with stereotyped sex roles with rules for females and rules for males. It is important to keep in mind the different messages for males and females and to consider the ways that advertisements influence people lives. Although none of us like to admit that advertisements affect or influences us, there is a lot of pressure to look a certain way and to purchase certain things because of the media. Often if someone doesn’t look or acts like everyone else, they are treated as if something is wrong with them. The images we are bombarded with in the media determine our ideas of what people should be. We get strong message that imply if we are to be sexually attractive, we should use products A, X and Z. Often the media perpetuates stereotypes for representing males as tough, unemotional, powerful, controlled and aloof, and representing females as seductive, passive, weak and little girl-like. These stereotypes can be harmful when they affect our attitudes and expectations of others.

C- Divide students into small group and give each group some popular magazines and they can put out the magazine they bring from home from which to cut advertisements.

1. Provide students with the following instructions:

Group 1 Will find advertisement that show attractive men and then attractive women. And group 1 will describe the sex role message they see.

Group 2 will find examples of advertisements that use ordinary or plain faces. Group 2 will answer these questions: What are the products they try to sell? What is the message in the advertisement used to sell them?

Group 3 will find advertisements selling products to make you beautiful, attractive, sexy, desirable, natural, etc. Group 3 will describe the models used to advertise these products.

2. Allow groups 30 to 35 minutes to find pictures. They should cut out the best example and make a collage on new print to display their pictures.

3. Have each group share their collage and finding with the rest of the class.

4. Point out how the collages demonstrate the pressure from the media for people to look and act a certain way. Although the impact and influences of the media is debatable and controversial, many people believe it shapes our behaviors and attitudes.

Homework: Suggest students to continue to view advertisements critically to learn how advertisements affect their lives and beliefs and continue to look through magazines and bring in two ads every class. Ask students to bring in their favorite record albums.

Day 2/ Week 2/ Tuesday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Have students choose a time when they can watch television commercials. Ask them to list ten products advertised for personal use and describe what the advertisement promises the product will do.

1. Students will present there findings to the class.

2. Make a master list on the chalkboard to collectively list all the advertisements and their promises.

3. Discussion should take into consideration whether the promises seem realistic, why people would buy the product and what the advertisement say a man or woman should do to look sexy and attractive. We see and hear a lot about sex and sexuality on television. Ask students how this influences our values and attitudes about sexuality, dating violence and date rape.

Day 3/ Week 2 Wednesday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Song Lyrics Exercise: Explain to students that the lyrics of some popular songs may contain message that reinforce society’s attitudes about violence and sexual abuse.

1. Have students share the names of their favorite albums or songs.

2. Choose two or four songs to play on the record player.

3. Ask students “what do you like about the song?” “What are you hearing?” “What are the messages?” “What influence could the message have on the listener?”

Summary: Although the influence of the media is debatable, it is important for us to be aware of the way the message in music, television and movies may influence our attitudes and expectations of others.

Day 4/ Week 2/ Thursday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Show students the video “Killing Me Softly”

This video talk about…A woman that faces deadly consequences for abandoning her loving relationship with her boyfriend to pursue exciting sexual scenarios with a mysterious celebrity mountaineer.

C- Ask students to write a two pages essay on what they saw in the movie and their reaction to the movie.

Homework: Have student watch one hour of television and report what they watched and what they noticed about gender roles, sex, aggressions, violence and unattainable beauty/ pressures to be beautiful.

Write two page of essay on what you saw and your reaction to it.

Day 5 / Week 2/ Friday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other

B- Open discussion about the television vs. violence vs. sex vs. dating.

C- Divide students in three groups and using the ads they have found earlier this week. Ask student to create a new advertisement for the same product or service without using violence, sexuality and stereotypical imagery. They should also pay attention to beauty standard and ideals and find a way to avoid them or transcend them.

WEEK 3 Curriculum: Gender Roles

Objectives: Students will learn about gender roles and difference in male and female role in families of different cultures. Students will be more familiar with the sexual harassment definition and how to recognize sexual harassment.

Day 1/ Week 3/ Monday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Definition of Marianismo and Machismo (See appendix 4-1).

C- Difference in male and female roles in families of different cultures (See appendix 4-2).

D- Difference in male and female roles in the work place:

A. Divide students in small groups. One or two groups will identify the difference in male and female in work place and other group will discuss what they feel the roles should be.

B. Reconvene the class and write down all the majors answers

Day 2/ Week 3/ Tuesday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Open discussion on what students think are traditional male and female jobs

C- Divide students in two groups I group is male and the other group is female (Remember is a girl wants to be a male or male want to be a female if their choice and let them participate in their designate choice of gender). Ask students at talk about how they feel as man or woman and choice a recorder for each group.

D- Reconvene the class and put down all the relevant answers and continues the educational discussion on stereotypes of women and men in nontraditional jobs – Discussion on students opinions about reverse gender role in the work place.

Homework: Pass out to student the sexual Harassment in work place Quiz. Ask student to male a list of acceptable and unacceptable work place or school place behaviors.

Day 3/ Week 3/ Wednesday

A. Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B. Discuss with student their definition of sexual harassment

C. Distribute the Handout (Appendix 5-1)

D. Go over the homework Quiz on sexual harassment

E. Distribute handouts that discuss what steps one should take if they or someone students know is in a sexual harassment situation.

Homework: Each student will come up with 4 questions to ask guest speakers. Two questions for Thursday (Media) and two for Friday (gender role and sexual harassment)

Day 4/ Week 3/ Thursday

Guest Panel: Representation of the media

A politician
Actor or actress or model or singer or musician.

Student will be instructed to take notes and ask their homework questions they have prepared the night before.

Day 5/ Week 3/ Friday

Guest Panel: Representation of the Police Department, Fire fighter, A Nurse or Doctor, a therapist or social worker

Introduction to Date rape issues, Sports and Aggressions.

PS: the two Guest days will be structured with panel discretion.

WEEK 4 Communication and Healthy Relationships to Prevent Date violence/ Rape

Objectives: Students will identify communication skills that can help them talk to a date about sexual limits. Students will practice using these skills. Students will be able to learn and discuss effective communication skills using role playing. Discuss jealousy, possessiveness, control, violence in relationships.

Day 1/ Week 4/ Monday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Define Communication: (Distributed Handout 6-1)

Discuss some major areas of nonverbal behaviors:

• Eye contact
• Facial expression
• Gestures
• Postures and body orientation
• Proximity
• Paralinguistic
• Humor

Divide student is small group. Role playing the communication definition and the observer will write down which nonverbal behaviors and make his own interpretation.

Convene the class and discuss to students behaviors let them explain what their behaviors and compare with the observer interpretation.

Homework: Student will bring definition of Healthy and Unhealthy relationship and will bring a story about their personal life.

Day 2/ Week 4/ Tuesday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Listen to individual story/ Listen to feedback and questions/ Allows students to answer to the question in other for them to express their values and believes.

C- Passing flyers regarding healthy relationship and Unhealthy relationship.

1. Break the class into small group to discuss flyers.

2. Distribute the flyers (AM I ABUSIVE?) Give students ten minutes to answer those questions and let them know that the answer they need to keep it to themselves.

3. distribute the flyers (WARNING SIGN OF ABUSE) and give them the question and they can keep the answer for themselves.

PS: Let them know if anyone need to talk to the teachers they can write a note in the suggestion box and will be confidential.

Warning Signs: Are you in an unsafe relationship?

Usually, abuse in relationships doesn't just come out of
nowhere. Often, there are many warning signs that indicate the potential for violence.
To help determine if you are in an abusive relationship, check out these warning signs...
You may be headed for danger if you date someone who:
• Tries to isolate you from friends and family.
• Does not want you to spend time with anybody else.
• Hits, punches, kicks or shoves you. Or, threatens to hurt you in any way.
• Is extremely jealous.
• Gets mad when you talk to other people.
• Is possessive. Treats you like a belonging and does not want you to share your time with other people.
• Is controlling. Insists that you call to "check in" or ask permission to do things.
• Tries to control what you wear, what you do and how you act.
• Scares you. Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do.
• Behaves violently. Owns weapons and threatens to use them.
• Has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, has hurt animals or other people.
• Is emotionally abusive. Puts you down, calls you names, tells you you are nothing without him/her.
• Makes all the decisions in the relationship. Does not care about your thoughts and feelings.
• Abuses alcohol or drugs and pressures you to take them.
• Won't accept breaking up. Threatens to hurt you, or him/herself if you break up.
• Stalks you after you've tried to break if off.
If you experience any of these warning signs in your relationship, you may be a victim of dating violence. To get help, tell someone you trust: your parents, a friend, counselor, clergy member, etc. Remember that you are not alone and that the abuse is not your fault. Help is available. Click here for resources.

Am I Abusive?

About Domestic Violence
Warning Signs
DV in the Workplace
Teen Dating Violence
Am I Abusive?
Peace in the Family

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see if you have a problem with abuse:
• Have you ever hit, pushed, grabbed, threatened, frightened or intimidated your partner in any way?
• Has your partner said she's afraid of you, or shown fear in other ways?
• Are your children afraid of you?
• Do you frequently insult your partner, call her names, or say things that make her feel uncomfortable?
• Do you often pressure your partner to do things your way, even if she doesn't want to?
• Does your partner complain that you are trying to control her life?
• When you treat your partner badly, do you consider it her fault? Do you blame it on alcohol, stress or family problems?
• Have you cheated on your partner?
• Have you ever been accused of mistreating your children?
• Has your partner complained about jealous or possessive behavior on your part?
If your answer is "YES" to any of these questions, you may benefit from our program. Our experience shows that once a person begins to abuse, he has a problem that is likely to get worse. Men often feel guilty and apologetic after an abusive incident. Many promise themselves and their partners that they will change. Unfortunately, even with the best intentions, most do not stop being abusive without outside assistance.
There are programs that want to help you.
Call Chelsea ASAP at 617-884-6829 for free confidential

Day 3/ Week 4/ Wednesday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Teacher will make an introduction about dating violence for instance can start: Teenagers can sometimes prevent dating violence or rape by setting sexual limits for themselves and communicating these limits to their date. Setting limits prior beginning a dating relationship which means having 4 to 5 core values relationship can help them take control of their own sexual behaviors and reduces the chances that a date might pressure them into becoming involved in behavior they aren’t ready for.

Many teenagers want to set sexual limits in dating relationships but find it difficult to communicate these limits to each other. Many fear hurting date’s feelings, appearing foolish or loosing the relationship. State the objective and overview the activity.

C- Distributed the Negative Communication Role Play. (appendix-1) Make sure to give the instructions at the beginning of the script about how to play their role.

D- Ask students to read the Positive Communication Role Play. (appendix 7-2) Instruct the class to pay attention to how the characters in the second role play communicated more effectively than the first.

E- Ask student to identify how the second role play was more effective.

F- State that the main character in the second role play communicate more effectively because she/he used 3 specific skills: positive body language; clear, direct, honest communication; and *I* messages. Give example of each from the role play.

G- Presents the following information about each of the skills.

1. Positive Body Language: Looking directly at someone shows you care about them and want to see and hear their reaction. Sitting up straight, learning forward, occasionally touching them, communicates that you have something important to say and are comfortable saying it.

2. Clear, Direct, Honest Communication: Speaking in a clear voice indicates you have confidence in what you are saying. Avoiding the use of too many speech fillers like “Uh,” “you know,” “yeah,” also indicates confidence. Direct statement about what you think, feel or want increase the chances that you will be understood.
3. I messages: An effective communication tol to express what you think, feel or want, without blaming or accusing the other person. A model for I message is:

“When you__________(describe behavior)

I feel_______________ ( describe your feeling),

Because____________( describe behaviors affects you)’

I want or would you appreciate it if _________________ (what you want).”

For instance:

• Raymir is dating Rayline and has been paying for all the dates. He resents it.

I Message: “When I pay for all the expenses of our dates, I feel resentful because I am spending a lot of my money on our relationship. I think I would feel better if you would start paying for some of the things we do. Are you willing to try that?”

• Rayline feels pressure to spend more time with Raymir than she wants to.

I Message: “When you tell me you are hurt because I want to spend time with some of my other friends, I feel uncomfortable because they mean a lot to me. I need you to understand that sometimes I will make plans with my friends. Can you accept that?”

Homework: Ask student to practice the communication skills at home

Day 4/ Week 4/ Thursday

A- Review group Rules for talking about Dating Violence: emphasize on respect each other.

B- Tell students they will have the opportunity to practice using these skills they have been practicing at home as homework with a partner in class. Say that you will give each of them a situation where they must refuse an unreasonable demand. These situations will not have been related to sex.

1- Ask student to find a partner and designate a Person #1 and Person #2.
2- Hand out skill Practice Situation A for Person 1 and 2. Give students 2 minutes to read the situation and decide how they are going to communicate the skills they’ve learned.
3- Allow 7 minutes for Person #1 to practice using the communication skills.
4- After 7 minutes ask students to discuss the first skills practice by answering the following questions:
a. Was he/she direct and clear?
b. What worked well?
c. Sid she/he uses any I message?
d. Did he/she look at you and speak in a clear, strong voice?
e. What needed improvement?
5- Hand out Skill Practice B and ask students to switch roles. Repeat the previous steps with Hand out A.
6- Reconvene class and ask volunteers to share what was easy and what was difficult about using the communication skills.

State that these communication skills can help talk about their sexual limits with a date, thus taking control of their own sexual behavior and reducing the chances that a date may pressure them into behaviors they aren’t ready for. Emphasize that a victim of date is not to blame if he/she didn’t communicate their sexual limits and that communicating limits will not always protect everyone from date rape.

Day 5/ Week 4/ Friday

A- Discuss the TV news or newspapers about any recent violence story or teen dating violence

B- Divide class in small group of six to think about what kind of program they would like to put in place to stop teen violence.

C- Discuss the program they want to implement

D- Talk to them about putting together a Magazine.

WEEK 5 Begin Magazine Preparation

Days 1 & 2/ Week 5/ Monday

Dived students in group every day and have a recorder to take notes.

Have students find and identify sponsors in the community for the magazine.

After 30 minutes have them read their finding and took all the information with address and telephone number.

Teacher will read the letter to them and if they want to add more or adjust the letter it is the time to do that and teacher or one student will take responsibility to write the letter by following the format.

Day 3/ Week 5/ Wednesday

Divide student in groups

• Have students send letters to parents and business asking for donations for the magazine

Day 4 & 5/ Week 5/ Thursday, Friday

• Brainstorm ideas of what to include or exclude in magazine.

Letter to the parents:


Dear Parents/ Guardian/ Community Member,

The SCHOOL NAME needs your Help! Teen courtship violence is a social problem that affects our entire community. As a class, we are working on to educate the youth of our community by producing a magazine that promotes healthy relationships among teens.

The magazine will be developed entirely by the students of the class and distributed to parents, teachers, administrators, and community agencies. It will also be available on the school’s website. We need your help to cover the cost of printing the magazines and are asking you to donate money to our class.

There are several ways to donate:

• You can purchase a small advertisement (for business) in the magazine ($30).
• You can write a message for a student or the entire class that will appear in the magazine (17).
• You can have your name added to the list of sponsors that will appear in the magazine ($20).

Pease send the enclosed form along with your checks or cash to:

HS school name

Thank you for taking the time to learn about and support (THE HIGH SCHOOL NAME or the name the group find for the magazine). Your donation will be greatly appreciated and valued by not only the class, but the community as well.

For further information on the magazine, contact (The person in school responsible of the training)

Sincerely yours,


Name of the magazine

Business/Individual Donating________________________________


Phone Number___________________________________________

Please indicate your type of donation below

----- I would like to purchase an advertisement for my business ($30)
(Please attach the advertisement)

----- I would like to write a message for a student/ the class ($17)

Write a message here (limit 110 characters):

----- I would like the following name added to the sponsor list ($20)

Write name to appear on sponsor list here: ____________________________________

Please make check payable to:
HS School Name

Mail this form to:

NAME of the School
Name of the Magazine

Thank you for your donation to the (Name if the magazine)

WEEK 6 Gather Info for Magazine

Days 1 - 5/ Week 6

Students will be working together by forming small groups. They will:

• Pick the most interesting interviews

• Pick good and bad advertisements

• Students write personal essays

WEEK 7 Finalizing Magazines

Days 1, 2, 3/ Week 7/ Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday

Review Group rules.

Three days to work on students format and make a template magazine.

Day 4/ Week 7/ Thursday

Final review and send the magazine to printers.

Day 5/ Week 7/ Friday

Final Thoughts and feedback

Pass out the evaluation

WEEK 8 Wrap up

Day 1/ Week 8/ Monday

Election of a committee to continue with magazine on trimester publishing.

The committee will need to have a president which should be a student, advisors could be teachers and guidance counselor, a treasurer could be the principal and other volunteers could be the parents. Committee need to be at least 10 actives members. Proofreaders are also very important to help the students with their articles and essays. They can be English teachers or other volunteers in the community.

Day 2/ Week 8/ Tuesday

Teacher will make numerous copies of the thank you letter.

Divide students in four groups and Pass out the envelope and magazine and they will put them together in other to mailed them later. Or students will distribute magazine in the community to the sponsors which can be member of organization that help with the cost of printing.

Day 3/ Week 8/ Wednesday

A- Review what went wrong with the distribution and who did they missed and they can take 20 minutes to finish up

B- The committee can also make magazine available in nurse’s office, library, at PTA meetings, on the School website.

C- Talk about the magazine and listen to each feedback.

D- Evaluate program/class using post-program survey designed by PTDV curriculum

Day 4/ Week 8/ Thursday


Day 5/ Week 8/ Friday

Graduation Ceremony and certificate will be awarded to each student.

Web Site:

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