Without doubt Christmas can be a wonderful magical time.  Away from the commercial side, it can be a time where old wounds can be healed, rifts fixed and axe’s buried.  A time for families and friends to come together and share the joyous occasion.  Christmas is full of tradition and each and every family that celebrates this festive occasion will have its own set of customs that are often practised year in and year out.  The difficulty with Christmas is we are expected to be happy.  We are expected to partake in the celebrations, to attend family gatherings, go to or give parties and over indulge in every sense of the matter.  For each and every one of us at some time in our lives the Christmas season has been anything but a happy occasion.  Such as, times where someone has been seriously ill, we have lost someone close to us or there has been a breakdown in a relationship. 

When the upset or heartache involves the loss of a loved one, it seems as if occasions like Christmas exacerbate the situation.  They only serve to remind us of this loss. The fun times we had in years go by and how crucial their role was in ensuring each Christmas was special, enjoyable and memorable.

Life can be cruel and relentless and does not make allowances for those people who are grieving at this time.  The relentless push and expectation is that of celebration and enjoyment.  As hard as we try it is very difficult to feel joy and happiness when your heart is yearning for your loved one.  Wishing they could be here to share the moment.  It is the very family tradition which in the past brought so much joy that is now creating so much pain.  In other words it is the action of repeating previous behaviour that serves to painfully remind us of those who are no longer with us.

          So for those who have recently lost someone to spirit try doing something different this year.  You are not tarnishing their memory or letting go of your family customs you are merely substituting it for a short period while you gain the strength for coping with this very difficult time. A change in tradition will at least go some way to help achieving this, rather than serving as a painful reminder of what we have lost, rather than what we have got.

As spiritualists we are fortunate to believe in life beyond death, which brings great comfort.  No matter where we go or what we do our loved ones will, without doubt drop by to see us.  We may not be able to see them, or feel them, but let’s rest assured that visit they will.  If the change of custom has made this festive season less painful, this will also bring comfort to those in spirit to know our suffering has lessened.