Humor with False Teeth
First off, if you are squeamish about false teeth stories you might want to reconsider reading this column. I know some people would be happy if the world did not know they personally had them, that’s okay you’re secret is still safe. Well, unless you have a small child in your life that you have played the game with. The game where you show them you can take your teeth out and they are puzzled why they can’t, it can keep a young child occupied for a bit when it is necessary.
False Teeth Stories
I admit this topic does not come up everyday in conversations however there are times when given the right people, the right time, it can happen.
Yesterday my sister-out-of-law rode to Tampa with me and on our return trip we were a bit hungry so we pulled into Burger King (right side of road didn’t have to fight traffic, works for us!) for a sandwich. When we got back to my house she appeared to be searching for something in her bag. I asked her what she had lost. The answer: her false teeth!!! Seems she had wrapped them in a napkin and thought she had dropped them in her pocketbook. They weren’t there. She went to my car to search and there she found them on the floor in her napkin. ICK!
That situation led us to another story, yes about false teeth. Years ago I worked with a woman who told me her mother had “pocketbook teeth”. This woman enjoyed a rather high status job with the Social Security System and traveled a lot. She wore her teeth to all her meetings and such but come mealtime, out they came and into her “pocketbook”.
One gentleman told me he expected me to write a book one day and he imagined this story in it. I taught swimming lessons for a while and I had a class called Terrified Swimmers in a Seniors Community. These people had all made sure their kids knew how to swim but they had never learned for whatever thier reasons were. After a couple of lessons this adorable older man came to me and told me he had a problem. He just wasn’t comfortable taking the lessons with his teeth in, would I mind if he took them out? He and I had a few chuckles and if I saw him today I could tell him it didn’t make it to a book but it made it to an article!!!!
To end this silly conversation I’ll tell you about my father-in-law (May he rest in peace). He always carried a lunch box to work. His sandwiches were always wrapped in waxed paper. As was his habit he would eat his sandwich, crumble up the wax paper and put it back in his lunch box. Well, one day he was having trouble with his teeth so he wrapped them up in some of the wax paper and put them in his lunch box. That night he brought his lunchbox in and placed it on the counter, remembered he’d left something in his truck, and went back out to get it. When he came back in he went to his lunch box to retrieve his teeth. My ever efficient mother-in-law (May she rest in peace) had already discarded the wax paper in the wood burning kitchen stove. They had an interesting evening that night. He didn’t talk much.!!!!!!