AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  richard cederberg, iBlue Sleighty, iMaryAngela Nangini, iMr. Ed, iMarty Young, iellen george, iPhillip Rice, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

George E. Albitz

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· 94 Titles
· 51 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the George E. Albitz Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
George E. Albitz, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Featured Book
Mob City: Reno
by Al Moe

The growth of the Mob in the casino city of Reno, Nevada...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Books by George E. Albitz

Melting Ice
by George E. Albitz   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Thursday, April 24, 2008
Posted: Thursday, April 24, 2008

  Print   Save    Follow    Share 

Recent articles by
George E. Albitz

penwose Speaks
BURGLED IN BROAD NIGHTLIGHT
FLIRTATION WITH DEATH
I'M BIONIC...WELL PARTIALLY!
Roberto Clemente
Analog TV
THE PROFESSOR
           >> View all

Polar Ice Update!

Hinkly Dinkly Reporting
With Shrinking News

Today’s Headline:

WWF WARNS ARCTIC ICE MELTING FASTER THAN PREDICTED

MONTREAL (AFP) - Arctic sea ice is melting "significantly faster" than predicted and is approaching a point of no return, conservation group the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) warned in a new study.

The sea ice shrank to 39 percent below its 1979-2000 mean volume, it said.

This reporter took the alarming news to a reliable source, Professor Penwose, for a reliable assumption of what is happening. The Professor was quick to respond.

“The unexpected melting of the polar ice can only be caused by one factor. Before I tell you what that factor is, I would like to first remind you of an ancient rule of science; A glass of ice will melt in direct proportion to the measure of alcohol added."

The professor stated the theory was proven by himself many many times however for the purpose of authenticity he was more than happy to demonstrate it again. I was invited to join him and accepted his invitation in the manner of a polite guest.

We were each given glasses of ice and took note of the diminishing aspects when alcohol was pored upon it, which was substantial. Nevertheless the beverage was most refreshing.

Getting back to the question at hand, Professor Penwose declared the only possible explanation for the recent rapid melting of the polar ice was Eskimos, (Who are in fact Indians), cannot handle their booze and are spilling drinks haphazardly which probably consist of Russian vodka.

I questioned the theory as possible but noting it would take tons of vodka to achieve such affects.

The professor was quick to state the recent influx of Canadian Beer, which would cause the Eskimos to pee a lot more.

That theory is sound!

Hinkly Out!
By
George


Web Site: Encephalon Epitaph



Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Popular Humor Articles
  1. Lost C. Burnett Skit
  2. The 2000 Year Old Man
  3. 2014 and 2015
  4. Marinating on my TV
  5. A Penny For My Thoughts?
  6. Calling Dr. Mengele, Calling Dr. Mengele
  7. Silverstream Made Goddess Status
  8. Rainy Night in Georgia
  9. How to Succeed in Media
  10. Time for Confusion

Stilettos No More by Diana Estill

Wandering through the years between mini-skirts and Mee-maw panties with both eyes squinted, award-winning author Diana Estill laments she's "put up with this thong enough." She sh..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Poisoned By Yew by Janice Scott

A collection of all the short stories featured on my pages here at Authors' Den...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.