Marriage and Partnership - The Power of Two
edited: Monday, December 07, 2009
By Shela Dean
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Posted: Monday, December 07, 2009
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Marriage gives you the opportunity to fill each others gaps.
The exponential power of two. It's one of the great things about being in a committed relationship. When there's dry cleaning to pick up, groceries to buy, a dog to walk, a UPS truck that's expected, a lawn that needs mowing, a kid with a tummy ache, windows to wash, and dinner to prepare, having someone share the load makes life a lot easier.
Ditto when you hit the rough spots. Double ditto when you face challenges. Cranky and downright unpleasant. We've all been there. Down in the dumps just 'cuz, or angry over the promotion that went to the bozo instead of you, faced with a scary medical procedure, disappointed by a friend, unhappy on the job, worried about a failing parent, or at wit's end over your mouthy teenager's attitude. Scared, nervous, insecure. We've all been there, too. Times when we need to accomplish something extra, push ourselves further, and stretch beyond where we think possible. Life. It's not always smooth sailing. How much easier it is, however, to navigate turbulent times when there's somebody on your side who believes in you, gently nudges you forward, cheers you on, and has button-busting pride in your accomplishments.
There was a time in my life when I had a difficult decision to make, when I had to either "fish or cut bait," and "fishing" meant committing $10,000 of hard-earned dollars. I was terrified to take that step. I was terrified not to. I was paralyzed. My husband Dale said to me, "My arm is around your shoulder, my hand is at your back, and I walk by your side. You know what you need to do. Now, my love, go do it." I took that step, made that commitment, and it led to the publication of my first book. I have never felt more supported or more loved than I did at that moment. And, believe me, a guy like that can get away with imperfections I'll happily overlook. Being supportive is the loving thing to do. It's also in your best interest. You'll rack up more points (or what Dale and I call Frequent Foreplay Miles) than you can ever use. Don't you just love a win-win?
Is there a time in your relationship when your sweetheart made a difference in your life? If so, then remember this: When your sweetheart is cranky and irritable, or scared and insecure, or for whatever reason is less than the cheerful, high-on-life love bug you've come to know, you've got an opportunity to return the favor. Take a deep breath, avoid knee jerk (emphasis on jerk) reactions, and be a supportive partner whether the situation is monumental or nothing more than irritation at having gotten a speeding ticket. Being a supportive partner sometimes means sitting silently while your sweetheart vents. Sometimes it means encouragement to offset insecurity. Sometimes it means being brave even when you, too, are afraid. And sometimes it just means loving your partner through his or her indulgently bad behavior.
In the movie, Rocky said to Adrian, "I got gaps. You got gaps. We fill each others gaps." The power of two. Wow.