The REAL Dixie Chicks
edited: Friday, March 30, 2007
By Susan K. de Vegter
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Posted: Friday, March 30, 2007
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Southern grit and southern born...we are women of passion here in Dixie. I didn't write this but I sure enhanced it.
Smile, all y'all!!!
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am." "Yes, sir." "Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!" "Well, bless your heart." "Drop by when you can." "How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report:
Hot & Humid! Hot & Humid! Hot & Humid!
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach. The rivuh. The crick.
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals. Strapless sun dresses. Iced sweet tea with mint. Lightnin' bugs.
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey, Darlin', Shugah ; Baby.
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist Methodist Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy, Grits, Eggs, Country ham,
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
New Orleans (N'awlins)
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform. Men in tuxedos. Rhett Bu! tler, o f course!
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall. The Country Club. The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the four deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Wearing too much makeup in the summer
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for ! a neigh bor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southern-ness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
~Bless your heart!~
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|Reviewed by Walt Hardester
|Fo goodness sakes...I just read this jewell and sho nuff..you is right as rain.|
|Reviewed by Taylor Ryan
|From one Southern chic to another, despite my northern episode, I found this pure charm, Susan. I sealed the deal this weekend in those NC mountains I occassionally escape to with a healthy dose of breakfast grits, sweet taters, and fried green tomatoes for suppah with buttermilk pie. Might take me a week to work it off too, but the pace was worth th calories.
Hope that sweet Southern world is treating you well, my friend.
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
As a girl living south of Foat Wuth, I enjoyed this one...you captured the South perfectly! :) Yes. Also lived north of N'Awlins. :) Well done, chere!
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|Have I seen this a fore? I'm from "up Nort" but I know all this stuff from the movies or sumpthin.
My favorite Southern movies are Easy Rider and Deliverence. Kinda like Fargo describes my neck o' the woods.
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
|Gotta love it . . . Southern Fried Words Of Wisdom, straight from a gtits and sausage gravy licking kinda gal . . . Gotta love it twice . . .|
|Reviewed by Randall Barfield
|funny as hell & brings back the Georgia memories and beauties!|
|Reviewed by Art Sun
a real treat...
|Reviewed by LadyJtalks LadyJzTalkZone (Reader)
|So cool. I lived in the South for seven years and I could tell you how I use to get y'all going. Being from Jersey originally they could always tell where I came from. I use to joke with many when they would comment about my accent. "The only difference between a Southern accent and my Jersey one is that y'all just say things "a----wh-o-l-e l-o-t s-l-o-w-e-r" Great words, thanks for sharing them this morning. I'll go get my can of orange cola and rest a bit. Lady J|
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Hahahahaha...D E L I G H T F U L L Y...so if Y O U say so... who am I to argue huh??