This is the first in a series of regular features on recent references in the popular media to James Bond and his legend. Each month I shall search out my favourite seven quotes about James Bond from celebrities and the media in that time frame and hold them accountable for their words on 007.
After an online poll voted him the fan’s favourite to be the first black 007 - "Why not, man? I can rock a tuxedo. The whole nation's seen that. I've just got to get my lines right, that's all ... That one needs to be done. First black James Bond, it needs to be done. And who better to do it?"
Dizzee Rascal in The News of the World
Who better to be the first black Bond? Chiwetel Ejiofor for a start. And he'd have no trouble remembering his lines. However, both Dizzee and Chiwetel will have competition from another quarter ...
"When I was younger I did think of myself being the first black James Bond ... I think it would be pretty cool ... Just to play a part in a James Bond movie would be wicked. Really wicked. I guess that would be a dream for me one day to play a part, even if it's just a five second guy in the background."
The F1 driver could emulate another sports star in Vijay Amritraj who memorably chauffeured Roger Moore around in Octopussy. Given his romantic links Lewis isn't even the most likely member of his entourage to be the first to appear in a Bond film. Girlfriend Nicole Scherzinger- a Bond girl in waiting if there ever was one - is a sure-fire Octopussycat Doll.
"I just think there's always a fun story to be told about a mad and brilliant buffoon who comes along and saves the day by accident ... It's like sort of James Bond and the Mad Hatter rolled into one. So, in short, watch Doctor Who because it will improve your life."
It has to be assumed that the new Doctor Who is referring to Jervis Tetch - a.k.a.: The Mad Hatter - an arch-enemy of Batman. A hybrid between Ian Fleming's and Lewis Carroll's creations is too hideous to consider - most especially given Bond's predilection for double strength Americanos and the Hatter's insatiable appetite for weak tea.
"I'm kind of a James Bond nerd. I have my Phaeton. I can press the buttons and all the vents go up, it massages your back. I have everything sans a missile launcher."
Bond would never be seen dead in a V-Dub? [and, yes, I do know that Bentley is now owned by V.W.]. And, invisible cars are one thing but a vehicle (presumably a four-stroke) that massages Bond as he drives along ... what would 'Q' have to say about that?
"T-20 cricket is like a James Bond film where all the action happens in a split second. If you get one batsman out the others become vulnerable to fall."
Lakshmipathy Balaji of the Chennai Super Kings
If James Bond is the secret agent equivalent of T-20 cricket, then George Smiley is a five-day Test match at Lord's and Sterling Archer is net practice with your mum bowling a tennis ball.
On Jonathan Ross' chances to crack the US market - "I don't think Americans like overt vulgarity. We are in a really conservative period, it's really prudish here now. Lots of British stars, like Robbie Williams, come over wanting to sell the cheeky chappie, slightly foppish Britishness and it often falls flat. Simon Cowell works because he plays to what American entertainment expects from a British accent; bitchy, cutting and belittling. He's like the bad guy in the James Bond movie."
Simon Cowell as a Bond baddie? More Blo-Hard than Blofeld, more Middlefinger than Goldfinger, and definitely more Mr Big Head than ...
"I'd love to play James Bond, but it's been said so often, so inaccurately. I was in my flat in London, wrestling with a busted shower, and I heard a news report that I was going to be 007. I thought: ‘If only it were true , but I have to fix this shower.' "
Having played a Leading Role in Tomorrow Never Dies [sorry that should have read 'Leading Seaman'] the Scottish actor would be a firm favourite to be the first actor to play 007 after being an extra in a Bond film. Would the producers allow sloppy seconds though?