Can you imagine being marooned in a blizzard? Wilkes-Barre came to a standstill this past week and for the first time since I traveled north I felt a tug from the Lord to look up instead of at my circumstances.
For awhile I wondered, why am I here? It's all wrong. You see, I was supposed to go to India for ministry in December and ended up on Mom and Dad's front porch instead. It was fine for a season -- the Christmas season anyway. But I never figured I'd winter in the cold mountains of PA. When it comes to revamping the TV Show I would have rather done what I could from the cozy warmth of my Georgia country home, sitting in front of the fireplace, tapping away at my keyboard. The day after Christmas our local Georgia art gallery burned to the ground. Maybe somehow if I stayed in GA I could have prevented this. Maybe I would not have lost so many paintings if I stayed home. At least that's what I thought at the moment.
Then I was reminded that Mom and Dad might not have survived the winter if I weren't here. Mom was failing fast. She fell several times before I got here and even a few afterward. A doctor said blood clot, another said cellulitis. She would have been rushed to a nursing home against her will. Dad could not have lived in the house alone if Mom went to a nursing home. They would have lost their two tiny chihuahuas. Christmas would not have existed for Mom or Dad. Because I was here, I put up the tree, helped make Christmas dinner, sang Christmas songs, did the shopping, did laundry, changed sheets, nighties, and did whatever else was needed.
My sister was grateful that I came. My brother was grateful that I came. I was slightly warmed by the thought that my presence here was welcome in this coldest time of winter -- not something I would have orchestrated.
Since I've been here I've had very little time to pray, very little time for myself, and even less time to create. I've been feeling my distance from God widening. Albeit every morning I still wake up praising God and thanking Him for salvation, for His blessings, for His mercy and for His grace. I still have found time to pray for my friends and family and the pastors I love.
Then, last week something special happened. Snow! Lots of it. It just wouldn't quit. I was marooned in the city for a couple of days. After much shoveling I finally made my way back to my parents. While I shoveled, I wasn't able to look up because of the continual downpour. I felt a tug from God. It isn't about you, or what you want to happen. It's about where I want you to be and what I want to happen. I looked up. The snow rushed down. It was blindingly beautiful! Was He there after all?
Hopefully I'll get to India before I forget what I was going to speak and teach about. For now I have purpose. I'm taking some load off of my siblings, sharing a smile and a movie once in awhile with my Mom, making my Mom and Dad breakfast, sitting beside Dad occasionally when he watches a game show -- during the week days I work on the TV Show at the studio. 'Snow what' you say? Well, I'll tell you. It's the tug of the Lord that counts. Not where I think I should be or what I think I should be doing. For now, God has a reason for my being here and that suits me just fine.