When in my younger years, I never imagined that I would be one of those women whose husband’s beat on them and live in fear for many years to come.
I had visions of the white picket fence around the front yard and watching my children playing outside smiling happily.
I never planned to look out the front window to find my children standing in the front yard sobbing, as I wiped tears from my battered eyes.
Furthermore, I was tired of being mistreated daily, as this was not how things were supposed to be and why it happen to me I thought numerous times.Did I have the word doormat attached to me or fool.
The daily abuse affected my children in many ways, as to see them smile was rare and to notice the sadness and anger within became often.
I could go on without stopping about this topic and would sure have close to one thousand pages or even more on my personal experience with living domestic abuse and from others that I had met along my path, as it is heartbreaking.
Then after many years living this life of anguish. I finally got out and moved on, as I now had a job and realized things are about to change. This new job sure took away all the worries.
There is even an extra bonus, as I would be with my children throughout the daily job, as it takes place at their school.
However, I never planned on what was about to happen next nor could I predict that a second relationship of domestic violence would take place and sad to say far worse then the first time around .
How is this possible even and it became a horrible nightmare and trying to walk away from this one would not be simple, as the person was not about to allow it. So of course, I become stuck in a rough situation for a great length and would try my hardest to keep piece and that became rather difficult though.
Frustrated, I would be but to gripe about it made matters only worse, as I already found myself sleeping with the phone under my pillow after becoming attacked during the middle of the night numerous times.
The children became even more depressed, as this person was very mean to them and I met him in the church that he actually worked for.
What an omen I thought and the omen they sure were.
If I were to just write down some events that would happen on a daily basis the page would not hold it all, as it was constantly from dawn until dark that verbal and at times physical abuse took place. The harsh name calling and put downs were endless.
Then every time I tried to break free they become spiteful and their threats to keep me they fulfilled.
I was now stuck in the dark tunnel and things became even worse, as most of it was as if history had repeated itself since I had already suffered most of this abuse in a prier relationship and now another to strike.
How tragic it really was to live this way and soon my biggest fears hit me head on once again, as my young child went into such a state of depression and tried to take their own life for the second time.
Everything seemed to fall apart at this point including my children thanks to this vicious cycle we were living and I started to feel as if all hope is gone and cannot pull through this misery any longer.
It felt like my hands were tied, as I tried to get out of this relationship and even had the laws help most times, as they would still walk free after bail and come back infuriated finishing what they started and breaking the restraining order even.
I had simply given up on this life of never ending heartache.
Therefore, I called a neighbor over to the home and asked, if they can watch the children a moment and rushed off to the bathroom, where I now have opened the medicine cabinet. Next, finding myself holding an empty bottle of pills that I now have took. The children are hysterical watching their mother taken out of the home on a stretcher as usual and they cry and scream, oh no, why!
However this time, mommy hurt herself because of such a rough life she and her children endured. Furthermore, discovering that I was seconds away from leaving this world, as the doctor tells you how lucky you were and meant to go on.
Lying on the hospital bed, I respond, meant to go on becoming beat on constantly and even sexually abused or also watch my kids suffer an unhappy existence from shoes and television remotes thrown at their heads. I had now encountered many downfalls in everyday life and became involved in two abusive relationships. Although, there was always reason to never give up in past situations and should not have been now.
My precious children who depend on me endlessly and I knew once again what must be done. That was to stand my strongest and face the wicked storm head on.
Hard it might become most defiantly, as life could be. I had become a survivor though with God given strength and the name mother made me even stronger. So I gathered up those broken pieces to our hearts for the last time and come to learn that there are many roads with “caution ahead”, and the sun will shine brightly from this point on and remain I am glad to say.
While my children become honor role students, as another is heading to college and one had built such a remarkable family life they are giving my grandchild. I will come to write many books that deal with these growing issues and topics that I had faced in the past and certainly have a story to tell. On overcoming tough odds and pulling through the storm.