Throughout my life, I struggled with the fact that I had been adopted and would soon come to learn by my own grandparents actually.
Although, in later years I kept finding reason to be disappointed that my biological parents could have done something like this and just give me up, as I thought and felt for many years to come. Even though I had a good life, as I went to private schooling and on vacations. Then on holidays would receive gifts that could have been for a few children. I sure had no regrets with the life they had given me, as they were wonderful and I loved them dearly.
Soon everything had become confusing, as I over heard a private conversation and come to find out that my older sister had been my biological mother and for thirteen years it had remained a hidden secret.
Furthermore, I believed that I was an aunt for those years to my younger sister. It was defiantly shocking and a confusing situation and brought out much hurt and anger. Due to the fact, I just did not understand why I did not remain with my mother and had been told for years that she was my sister.
Who I looked up to and admired, as she was awesome to me and now I know why, she was really mommy.
Then the whole story come out in the open, as I would discover the reasons why and become filled with sadness. But would finally realize just how difficult and hard it truly was for my real mother to sign me over to her parents,as I blamed her a long time and found myself always throwing this up, "Oh you did not want me".
It took much growing up inside to understand that I would not have had the happy, secure life that I did if not for my grandparents and from the painful choice my mother had made.
Since she was far too young at the time and of course my real father abandoned her after learning of me coming along. My mother was just a sixteen-year-old kid herself and honestly done the right thing for me.
Sad to say, my biological father had never been in my life nor did I ever receive just one birthday card and never would either.
When my younger sister come to tell me in time of how she would constantly find our mother sobbing over what she had done and letting my grandparents adopt me. It sure had bothered her also and to this day it would always be something she wished she could take back.
There is no need to though, because she sheltered my life of all the hardships, as I never had to experience going hungry often or the rough struggles she endured
In all honesty, she had done what was only right, as any parent may have, so their child does not suffer daily. I have come to find that it was very courageous and took much strength to sign those papers. I sure saw the brighter side now, as she was a mother saving her child's life from ruin.
Most of all, I had been truly blessed with such an opportunity to have two special mother’s throughout my life and that is always how it went. I would not just buy one mother's day card, but two every passing year, as I finally know that adoption was not something awful that had happen to me, but a blessing.