An article stating the likenesses and differences between friendship and control that also explores the common sense that we all yearn for - the pursuit of happiness and satisfaction.
According to Webster’s Dictionary, the term
friend is defined so simply as “a person one
likes.” It is well stated that the art of making
friends and striving towards the pursuit of
happiness have been twoof the leading qualities
that have molded our society for decades and
centuries on end. But, it has been proven that the
word friend can often be distorted when both
parties involved in the friendship do not agree on
the terms of their union. In this article, I will
address the both the issue of maintaining
healthy friendships and how to adequately reach
the long range goal in life - the true pursuit of happiness.
It has been said by many great literary heroes of past eras that “to everything there is a season.” This dictum commonly applies to our friendships and our compassion for our role models as well, making them no exceptions to the philosophy. From the moment that a union between two friends occurs, boundaries are made and borders are set that when crossed too frequently, the lines between the two friends can become paths of deception, greed and in some cases, pity. The balance between friends, role models and advisors can lead to especially dangerous territory when the pleasant medium between advisor and friend becomes a monumental sense of overwhelming control.
Is this advisor/advisee factor an actual friendship when the definition of the term clearly states that a friend is a person whom we like? In this respect, I would say, no. An advisor/advisee role that turns into a form of vengeful control, in my understanding of the clear and descriptive outline, would not be considered as a friendship, even though at one point in time, there may have been a mutual likeness between the two persons. Although it is neither written nor defined in the text definition that a friend is also one who supports through the other friend’s faults, it is common, every day knowledge that friendships throughout the many ages before and still today have survived legions of hardships, separations, and differences; regardless of mistakes, mishaps or misfortunes.
The ultimate goal in one’s life – the pursuit of happiness cannot be obtained when another party (such as the afore mentioned advisor) chooses to tip the scale of balance from a positive influence to a painfully negative outcome and thus, the advisor’s abuse of the principles on which the friendship was founded forever changes the landscape of how the two persons see both their union and in many respects, themselves. Thus, unions that have been damaged by greed, emptiness or spitefulness are best to be lain to rest as a foregone season and to never be reentered again.
In more instances than not, the advisor/advisee role can exist without complications or threat to either party’s well-being or kinship, leading to a wonderful road on which to travel. A road of trust, comfort, love and understanding that in the long run provides a nurturing sense to the advisee, allowing for true friendship (per its definition) and sustaining personal growth while along the passageway towards the pursuit of happiness.
However nice our friendships are and however long the paths of our lives might be, the eventual spectrum of happiness in our lives shall be met by the daily efforts that we put forth to better ourselves. Whether bettering our lives by volunteering, helping a neighbor, or by changing the way that we see ourselves, each individual, standing alone, holds the key to his own destiny.
Our lives are what we make of them and only we can make the decisions on whether to stand up for the things in which we believe or stand aside and allow life to walk over us.
The final destination in the pursuit of happiness: the art of living well, living freely and living joyfully – can only be obtained with the proper attitude and the will to overcome any bumps along the way.
© 2004 – Jill Eisnaugle
Jill Eisnaugle is a freelance writer, residing in Texas City, Texas and is the author of Coastal Whispers, a book of inspirational
poetry, published by Publish America, LLLP.
The author retains all
rights to this article and acknowledges that the opinions expressed in this work are the author’s own personal viewpoints and are not
expressed with bias towards any gender, race or culture.
Please receive the author’s expressed, written permission, prior to using this work in any way.