Throughout our full days I want my attention to be on my intention to guide our children to the results that will empower them throughout their lives.
Collapsing on the couch for affect, Mom vented her exhaustion and frustration with the day, "I need an abundance of simplicity in my life!"
The teen-daughter offered a solution. "Perhaps if you used smaller words . . . "
With wit, came insight. The solution to mom's/my exhaustive, complicated days was perhaps a matter of simplification. What do I actually want? That thinking is what I should be spending my time pursuing.
It's all in David Emerald's book The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic). There Emerald outlines the difference between a victim orientation in the Drama Triangle and a creator orientation in The Empowerment Dynamic (TED). It is a matter of AIR -- Attention, Intention and Results.
Where do I place my attention? During my most exhausting days I hit "survival mode," handling the victim's problems, getting everyone to every place on time. But is that what we should be creating as our toddlers walk through teen and subsequent young-adult years?
Next is my intention. "In the victim orientation," Emerald's book explains, "your intention is to get rid of, or away from, your problems." Calling out for help, for simplicity -- those are my reactive requests. "In a creator orientation your intention is to bring into being the outcomes you envision." What outcome do I, as a parent, want to help create for our children? I want them to see all that life has to offer. I want them to see themselves as capable and lovable individuals. Our full days provide a full array of opportunities for each of us to explore our potential in the world.
And finally, results. Here The Power of TED* distinguishes the difference between a problem-based victim and a outcome-oriented creator. The victim's results are temporary and reactive; the creator produces satisfying, sustainable results over time.
Throughout our full days I want my attention to be on my intention to guide our children to the results that will empower them throughout their lives. That is parenthood, creating outcomes for our children and ourselves.