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Tom Hyland

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Short Stories
· CHICKEN SCRATCHES ?

· DADDY ... ADDENDUM

· DADDY, WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE MILITARY?

· THREE LITTLE ... EDS !

· ALL MY CARS - PART 2

· ALL MY CARS

· AU-TO-MO-BILES

· BIG LUG CONTINUED !

· SLURPEES !

· THE BIG LUG !


Articles
· Fun With Some CON Words

· RACISM

· GOD BLESS THE @#%^ CORPORATIONS!

· BERRIES

· MEDIOCRITY ... THY NAME IS ... APATHY

· TALK IS CHEAP !

· The BLIMP

· 9 / 11 : PRESS For TRUTH

· NEW WORDS WITH FRIENDS

· BEATING A DEAD HORSE ?


Poetry
· SHRIMPY

· OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...

· ALL HALLOWS EVE

· HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW

· CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL

· DANGLING PARTICIPLES ?

· BIG 5 0 !

· COURAGE

· AS FOR ME ...

· LIFE IS LIKE ... A BOOK

         More poetry...
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· JERSEY DEVIL... aka KNAVE WUSS-A-LOT Update !

· JERSEY DEVIL HANGING IN THERE STILL !

· ED MATLACK IN HOSPITAL !

· ONE MILLION !

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Tom Hyland, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Books by Tom Hyland
3 H - P 6
By Tom Hyland
Last edited: Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Posted: Wednesday, August 12, 2009



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Recent articles by
Tom Hyland

• Fun With Some CON Words
• RACISM
• GOD BLESS THE @#%^ CORPORATIONS!
• BERRIES
• MEDIOCRITY ... THY NAME IS ... APATHY
• TALK IS CHEAP !
• The BLIMP
           >> View all 372
MORE HOGWASH !!!

ROLL UP YOUR PANT-LEGS -
'CAUSE IT'S TOO LATE TO SAVE YOUR SHOES!








3 H - P 6

© - Tom Hyland - 07-26-09 to 08-12-09


RE: Mary E. Lacey’s - Mom I’m Sorry - Pain of Death -

DEAR MARY -

Stop punishing yourself. My experience was similar, but different.

My Mom died in a Nursing Home, of Alzheimer's. For several years, I watched a robust, heavy-set woman waste away to a little thing of less than one hundred pounds. Although she no longer knew who I was, I fed her Gummy Bears by hand, one at a time, so she wouldn't choke.

In the earlier years, when she still recognized her only son, she used to beg me: "Tommy, please take me home - I'LL BE GOOD!" A 'tough pill to swallow' - even now - twenty years later!

We are but mere humans, and we do what we can do, when we can do it - when we cannot, we persecute ourselves with guilt.

Those we loved are quite at ease, in their Heavenly domains, and have forgiven us even BEFORE we failed them.

Someday, we will join them, and all will be well again - as it should be!

Peace be with you! Tom.

=========================================================

RE: Mr. ED’s - The Name Game -

DEAR MR. A.HOLE -
Perhaps Mean Tall Woman has mixed you up with the musician from Australia - ATHOL GUY ?

Anyways - "PEE-POT" is a much more gooder NAME!

Oh Yeah - almost forgot - if you think your Vet is confused, if anyone ever reads your Will - all those names will wreak havoc!

TomKat - Hoot - El Diablo - El Gato - His Horniness !

=========================================================

RE: My - Ode To A Matchless Matchlack -

7/27/2009
Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

*Laffin' too hard to review* OW, my SIDES! Tom, yer gonna' be the death of me yet, from laughin'! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

But am praying HARD for Eddy-boy!! I pray he gets better SOON!!!!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D LOLOLOLOLOL


7/27/2009
Ch'erie Perrott

What a cracka of a write. Looks like one false move and he could end up clean orrrrf the planet and in orbit.
Ah Ed, hurry and get well.

Thanks Tom.:) Ch'erie


7/27/2009
Karen Palumbo

Oh God, was so sorry to hear and have been praying. God help him to get well and in my prayers he stays until home with his family. Be well my friend....

Be always safe,
Karen

7/27/2009
E T Waldron

This is fantastic Tom,and I want to thank you for making sure I was informed about our dear Ed,who is the most stubborn of all mules!;-)

Eileen


7/27/2009
Georg Mateos

Life is not the same without li'l brother, will ask Ma why he's so mule stubborn! But he will get well soon enough, I asked the Big Boss Above to make him well as a favor to me...so I can kick his ass with my nr. 9 Marines boot when he's up and running!

EDvard, Ole Brother



7/27/2009
Jackie (Micke) Jinks

Light hearted, but oh, so caring, Tom. Just what Jersey Ed would appreciate. Isn't this great news...Ed on road to road to recovery, however slowly??!!
btw...you have the address right.
Blessings and Love - Micke



7/27/2009
Chantilly Lace

Oh yes ..and all of us here cant wait for his return ..very nice TK our prayers and love are with ED your a wonderful man and friend god bless you sweetie...Hugsss


7/27/2009
Joyce Bell

I HEAR HE IS ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY...PRAISE GOD! THANKS FOR SHARING THIS WELL WRITTEN WORK AND BLESSINGS.
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS


7/27/2009
Lois Christensen

Good poetry about friend Ed. Glad Rene took him to hospital cause he was so stubborn and would not even get to a doctor. He needs looking after more so than he thinks. May he continue to progress fast and be back here on the den writing to us and for us. Thanks Tom, for the report.


7/27/2009
Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

The Den is a sadder place without his smiling face - thanks for the addy and info, TomKat. That piccy is too funny!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.


7/27/2009
D Johnson

Good news on his progress, may it continue.

Cheers and good health to Ed,
Dan


7/27/2009
Mr. Ed

YOU BETTER GET BETTER SOON - BUNKIE -
‘CAUSE YER FRIENDS . AD -
KNOW YER AS STUBBORN AS A DONKEY!

That he is, my friend; that he is.

And you have penned a real good Ode to The Matchless Matchlack!

And keep them prayers comin, for good old Ed!

TO ALL YOU AD’ ERS OUT THERE -

AMAZINGLY - I got the most hits - 12 - the fastest, of any before - WHY?

BECAUSE - ‘WE ARE FAMILY’ !!!

WE CARE ABOUT ‘OUR OWN’ -

Along with everyone else’s Prayers -
I truly look FORWARD to this BIG DOPEY LUG -
getting better so fast that -
HE WILL POST SOMETHING WITTY -
TO ‘REAM MY ARSE! REAL GOOD, NO LESS!

DEAR JOISEY DEVIL ... “READ MY LIPS!”

“I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL -
PENS, OR QUILLS -
AT TWENTY PACES!
‘TIL WE MEET AGAIN -
IN GOD’S GREAT GRACES!”

TOMKAT ...


=========================================================

My Question submitted to AARP -

for the meeting Tomorrow 7/28 - with President Obama:

How come neither of the two bills before Congress for Healthcare do ANYTHING to garner needed funds from the HUGE CORPORATIONS,
like EXXON?

Is the drawing of attention to the Individuals earning over $250,000 and Couples (over $400,000) - to be taxed an extra paltry 5 % - more like a
'Red Herring' - to have the Public and the Media distracted away from my Real question?

Corporations have NEVER paid their Fair Share for ANYTHING!

Sincerely, Tom Hyland.

=========================================================

RE: Erin e. Kelly-Moen’s - Two Hangmen Lyrics by Mason Proffit -

ERIN - NEVER EVER HEARD OF IT - BUT - I LIKE IT!

ON A SIMILAR VEIN - if you are unfamiliar with the following, would suggest you READ it - I read it 47 years ago - and still remember its significance!

“The Lottery” - a short story by Shirley Jackson - IRONY at its best!

Much to be desired from ‘following the Law’ or even TRADITION, or RITUAL!

HERE’S THE LINK -

http://www.americanliterature.com/Jackson/SS/TheLottery.html

Peace - Tom.
=========================================================

RE: My - 3 H - P 5 -

7/27/2009
J'nia Fowler

Good points and an especially good one to state that your Country is in fact a Republic which cheers the rugged individualism which makes some rich and others poor. Canada is considered to be a Confederacy, in other words it is a Country made up of peoples who work for the betterment of the Nation and all of its peoples. Well, more or less, depending upon how rich you are.

Our national health plan is suffering but not because we provide health care to the poor. NO, it is because the administration has become too large to support ITSELF, or THEMSELVES and so we have wait lists for some interventions, and we have redundant tests which have to come first before the right intervention may be prescribed, (insurance companies insist upon this.) It is fixable and I hope that if your Country opts for this you can do it better. I remain doubtful however.

J'NIA -

AMEN - DEAR - AMEN!

CORPORATIONS + CORPUS DELICTI = COLLUSION !

"THEM WHAT HAS - GETS!
THEM WHAT WANTS - SUCKS HIND TIT !"

Pardon my parle vous... TK.

=========================================================

RE: John Martin’s - BLOG - FLASH!

JOHN - interesting 'angle' -

WHERE, OH WHERE -
DID I PUT THAT FREAKIN' MAGIC WAND OF MINE?

GUVMINT - ZAP!
CONGRESS - ZAP!
CORPORATIONS - ZAP!

ET CETERA - ET CETERA - ET CETERA ...

TOM.

=========================================================

RE: Karla’s - Hurry Up And Wait! -

KARLA - ALL HAIL THE GUVMINT RAT-BASTARDS!

I UNDERSTAND - my daughter, w/BIPOLAR - months ago, we went & applied for State Assistance - did all the waiting, the orientation class (SICK JOKE) - the forms, etc. she finally was approved - got TEMPORARY - food stamps, pittance hand-out, and cute lil plastic card.

When 3 months passed - OOPS! got to re-apply, going thru same routine of BULL-SHIT all over again! 'THEY' cannot simply call up the existing computer record and type - RENEW for 3 more months. CAN'T DO IT - SYSTEM DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!

GOT TO KEEP THE A-HOLES IN A J-O-B!

OH - YEAH - and even tho she has an ASSIGNED 'REPRESENTATIVE' - when you call her, she can do NOTHING!

I WISH EVERY DAMNED GUVMINT EMPLOYEE WOULD LOSE THEIR JOBS - THEN, GO THRU THEIR OWN 'SYSTEM'.

Like I said - RAT-BASTARDS ALL!

Makes one think of the BEATLES SONG -

REVOLUTION !!!

OOPS! bad word - look out GITMO - HERE I COME!

Peace & God's Help wished for you! TK.

=========================================================

RE: My Crooks In Congress -

Rightly, or wrongly, I found Paul’s original comments to be somewhat Demeaning - so I replied - IN KIND.

TO WIT - he responded thusly ...


Posted by Paul Kogel (author) at 7/27/2009 11:04:39 AM

Hi Tom Hyland:

You pointed out that you voted for "a black woman", made it a point to mention it, actually. I wonder why you felt that point was important, why you would even mention it. Why would that point be as important to you as the fact that you voted for an independent party - or more importantly - not one of the usual two parties? Does it make you feel...special, more open minded, somewhat superior?

Thank you for the definition of ‘straw man’. I suppose that means you don’t consider me intelligent enough to know the meaning, or at least not on your level. At least now you know that I understand it, so in the future you won’t have to define it for me when I make another argument that you don’t approve of. You can just say, “You’re doing it again, Paul” or something like that. The whole copying the dictionary thing is such a bother.

I don't think I missed the point of your article. I was referring, naturally, to your point about the parties. It seems to be the only real point of your article. Your reply seems to support that as well. Also, now that we have gone this far, let me just say that my comment wasn’t meant to be argumentative. I didn’t even necessarily disagree with your greater premise, only that the ‘thought’ of seeking after leaders that will ‘fix’ things, in my opinion, is the wrong approach. You seem to disagree. Your answer seems to be…what…elect some independent black woman…or something, to fix our problems. Yeah, good luck with that.

Your question about my being employed by a Lobbying Group is laughable. But, when I think about it, it really would be an interesting prospect. If you know how I can get a job like that for the Republican Party, please let me know. Do they really pay people to do that? LoL I think, if you really want to find a straw man, I would look into the argument that there are all these people out there working for these ‘groups’ trying to…what...convince others, lobbying the people, forcing their will on all of us, something like that. Maybe I’m wrong – I would love to be part of such a group. Wouldn’t you? No, probably not. But it would seem to me that the Independent Party (continuously in a mode of change and adaptation) or the Green Party would be the parties that would best benefit from just a group. I mean, after all, if their arguments were more persuasive maybe more people would vote that way. Maybe.

Anyway, thank you for your reply to my reply. You seem like just the kind of guy I would love to argue with. LOL Let’s do it again real soon.

Paul

DEAR PAUL - suffice it to say that - we agree to disagree. See below:

RE: Paul’s - Economic Crisis -

PAUL - WELL DONE!

I've watched several Documentaries, which explicitly confirm this scenario. although I may stand 'corrected' by you - does not Robert Williams below state essentially what I wrote in my 'Crooks In Congress? In fact, he MERGES the two parties together as 'Demo-publican.

"If you remember since 1989, Daddy Bush declared a "New World Order", then it's rather easy to see our Democrats and Republicans as two sides of the same corportist coin, just as Labour and Tories have shown themselves to be the same in Britain. Our one-party, Demo-publican Party system serves the power elite well, to everyone's detriment."

Since, FDR - a Republican, the best thing that ever happened to America - it has all been DOWNHILL since! 64 YEARS of DEMS/REPS ... all controlled by CORPS.!

Peace - Tom.

HIS REPLY -

by Paul Kogel (author) at 7/29/2009 3:42:32 PM

I just wanted you to know that I'm really not responsible for what other people post to my articles. As for this Robert Williams fellow (I like to read him by the way - sometimes), I don't agree with his premise,here. I don't agree with anyone who says there are no differences between the parties. Frankly, I think that is just stupid talk.

I said before that I feel like the Republicans, in order to become more centrist, have come too far left and that they need to reverse that trend, but that doesn't mean the parties are alike - they're not, and it's just plain stupid to say they are.

PAUL - perhaps we may be on the same page - but - using two different languages? i.e. - you just used the word 'stupid' twice - you may mean that the IDEA is stupid, but people tend to think you are calling THEM stupid. This usually causes people to become defensive. There is a huge difference between Arguments and Debates.

Your reply here makes it blatantly obvious that you are PRO-Republican, and quite sensitive about it. I on the other hand, am AGAINST BOTH PARTIES!
If anyone said anything negative about either, I would not get upset, and would probably agree with them.

I am NOT saying that the two are NOT different - Rather, that the PUPPETEERS up top, pulling the strings - the CORPORATION MONEY -
is used by Both parties for political gain - the CORPS don't care who WINS - because ultimately the WINNERS have their hands in the corp. pockets and are BEHOLDING to them.

ERGO - MY TITLE “CROOKS IN CONGRESS” - Dem-Rep - Lib/Cons -
Left/Right - Centrist ... NONE of this matters ... a Crook is a Crook, is a Crook ... and, like a dog - licks the hand of the Master that FEEDS HIM!

BTW - I was quite impressed by your bio and accomplishments - way ahead of me ...

Peace - Tom.


Posted by Paul Kogel (author) at 7/29/2009 7:36:02 PM

Hi Tom Hyland:

It was clearly stated that the idea is stupid not the people.
If you didn't get it then...well read it again.


Posted by Paul Kogel (author) at 7/29/2009 7:38:47 PM

Hi Tom Hyland:

And thank you for your kind comments about my Bio

PAUL - UNCLE! UNCLE! UNCLE!

MAY YOU AND YOUR ‘GRAND OLD PARTY’
LIVE ‘HAPPILY EVER AFTER!’
I GIVE UP! TOM.

=========================================================

RE: My - Profits & Gouging -

8/4/2009
Georg Mateos

"...the silent majority just keeps treading water..." Oh! that silent majority...I have heard of it before until I pucked!

Hear United Schmucks of America, you have got always the government you deserved, from con men to outright criminals, and you voted for them twice! to maintain the charade going.

Now, what's the beef? You thought that "yes, you can"? how dumb you are, no wounder China are selling you lead for gold.

Georg

Dear Grouchy Ole Cousin Living in Sweden -

Now, now - Georg - you don’t have to “SUGAR COAT IT!”

Peace - TK.

DEAR SWEDISH MEAT-BALL -

YOU MEAN THIS 10 POUND PENDANT AROUND MY NECK IS REALLY GOLD-PLATED PLUMBIUM?

DARN ... TK.


=========================================================

RE: My - Are Cynics Synthetic?

8/5/2009
Mr. Ed

Are Cynics Synthetic?

I DUNNO!

I Dunno either, but may that lovely Fairy of Joy show up at your door soon!

PEEWEE - TOO LATE! SHE DUN SLAPPED ME SILLY!
8/4/2009
Kate Burnside

blimey... i was biting my lip waiting to get to cyn-er... or cyn-agogue!!! I was all agog to see whether a cyn-agogue was, in fact, a sin-bin for cyn-ers.... Am I all of cyn-er, cynic, cynthetic...??? No, alas... merely path-etic! :)) Like this mind-teaser, Tom... and ESPECIALLY as well the intentions of that joy fairy: there are some I definitely have in mind for her to visit...!! :)) xx

KATE - SINFUL CYNICS SYNDICATE SIGNIFICANTLY ... TK.

8/4/2009
Joyce Bell

THANKS FOR THE VOCABULARY LESSON(SMILE) AND I GUESS THE ANSWER WOULD BE...SOME FOLKS ARE TRUE CYNICS (POOR DEARS) AND SOME FOLKS ARE NOT TRUE CYNICS...ONLY REPEATING WHAT THEY'VE HEARD SOMEBODY ELSE SAY (POOR DEARS). THANKS FOR SHARING AND GOD BLESS YOU.
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS

JOYCE - THANKS FOR THE BLESSING! Tom.


8/4/2009
E T Waldron

methinks the fairy of joy gave you one too many slaps;-)
thanks for the lesson wrapped in the funny stuff,need the
laughs!lol...ET

ETW - BEEN SLAP-HAPPY A GOOD WHILE NOW! TK.


8/4/2009
Lori Moore

Yes.

LORI - SUCH VERBOSITY OVERWHELMS ME! TK.



8/4/2009
D Johnson
clear as a foggy day on Bodega Bay... [Sic]

cheers,
dan

DAN - YEP! TK.


Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks
8/4/2009

TomKat...you have me totally discombobulated. Cyn? Syn? Sin? Oh, wait! You didn't share with us information on the latter! Unless that had to do with the strange Greeks of Ancient. Continue to keep us on our toes with your "cynicism", friend...
Blessings and Love - Micke

MICKE - YEP! BEWARE OF GREEKS BEARING ... TROJANS!

Reviewed by Georg Mateos
8/4/2009

We don't need to go out and buy cynicism, the government politicians will give it to you for free!
Now, aren't those Congressmen, House Representatives, Presidential Advisers, Lobbyist...the whole lot a bunch of clones is plastic?
Gimme a break, I am confused as it is, don't need help from a crazy Tom!

Georg

GEORG - YEP! CLONED PLASTIC -
MADE FROM RE-CYCLED BED-PANS ... TK.

RE: Steve Chering’s - The Haggis Report -

STEVE - thanks for clarifying the 'mystery' ...

the pic reminds one of a pig blowing a horn ...

on this side of the 'pond' we call them ... HOT-DOGS! Tom.

=========================================================

RE: My - Her Peignoir -

8/6/2009
Mr. Ed

She was Totally impressed that I even knew the Name

I, myself am quite impressed that you know the name!

PS: In my first marriage, I, too, rented a 'fabulous, romantic, honeymoon haven' in the Poconos.

What a disaster that was; Alas, as was my first marriage.


ED ...

MAN - if yew ain't 'Quick-Draw McGraw' ...

Did you even see the PIC?

ALAS - INDEED !!! TK.


8/6/2009
E T Waldron

Tomkat you are hilarious, even while being serious,and I do appreciate your ability to be both at one time;-) Excellnt poem!
ET
8/6/2009
Joyce Bell (visitor)

THIRTY FOUR YEARS LATER....SHE LEFT YOU???!!! I AM SORRY TOM, ALTHOUGH THE 'PEIGNOIR' STORY IS A BEAUTIFUL ONE, I AM JUST WONDERING WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS ON HER MIND...AFTER THRITY FOUR YEARS??!! IN ANY CASE...AT LEAST SHE HELD 'SOMETHING' DEAR...THE 'PEIGNOIR'. THIS IS A WELL WRITTEN WORK WITH WONDERFUL IMAGERY. THANKS FOR SHARING AND GOD BLESS. JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS


8/6/2009
Georg Mateos

Mes oui mon amí!

le Vieux

GEORG - My - yes, my Friend .... you ARE quite OLD ...


8/6/2009
D Johnson
Yes, those were the days...

Cheers,
Dan

8/7/2009
Jackie (Micke) Jinks

Oh, Tom...you romantic Kat, you!! Love this poetic adventure you share. Good that your memory outlasted the picture...
Blessings and Love - Micke

8/7/2009
J'nia Fowler

LOL... Guess she was afraid of being black mailed. Great story tho. Sad it didn't last. boo hoo, hugs, J'nia

=================================================================

RE: John V. Martin’s - TEA ANYONE?

JOHN - AMEN!

BUT IT DID NOT JUST START - NOT EVEN WITH BUSH !

SINCE THE END OF WWII - THE EARLY 50'S -
ABOUT 57 YEARS -

CORPORATIONS HAVE CONTROLLED THE 'PAWNS' WHO CONTROL THE GOVERNMENT -

AND IT HAS GOTTEN PROGRESSIVELY WORSE!

NATIONAL TEA PARTY?

YES - WE NEED ONE BADLY!

AT EVERY ELECTION - DO NOT RE-ELECT KNOWN CROOKS!

INDEPENDENT - AMERICAN - GREEN - LIBERTARIAN -
ANYTHING BUT ... STATUS QUO !!!

TOM.

=========================================================


© - TKH


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Reviewed by John Martin
Good words to Mary, Tom. Been there myself. You're a good man Charlie Brown.
Reviewed by Georg Mateos
Dear deranged: Say, if you multiply 3H by two you get P6? How come?

EDvard, the smarter cousin!

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Along with everyone else’s Prayers -

I truly look FORWARD to this BIG DOPEY LUG -

getting better so fast that -

HE WILL POST SOMETHING WITTY -

TO ‘REAM MY ARSE!



The Big Dopey Lug has probably lost some weight now, but I look forward to yer Arse Reamin!



PS: As far as my many names, and my will, I think you're gonna inherit about a dozen cats from me, and one rascal of a garden mouse named Speedy - I spelled yer name right, too!



Mr. A..Hole


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