I'd think to myself, “I wish he wouldn't say that” and reply, “Please don't write out of guilt.” It made no difference. I did not take it personally. He'd shared over the years that he felt guilty about a lot of things. I felt sorry for him. Then one day it hit me “I'm just like him. Maybe even worse.” I now remind myself often, “If you spot it you got it!” I realized if I dislike a trait in someone else I usually have it too.

An experience with two dentist highlighted the destructive power of guilt. My regular dentist always fussed at me for not flossing and getting my teeth cleaned regularly. “You're going to get gum disease. You have problems already,” he'd scold. I'd leave his office guilt ridden and think, “What's the use.”

A few months later I saw a different dentist. He looked into my mouth and exclaimed, “You have really healthy gums. Do you exercise?”

“I jogged daily,” I told him proudly. His compliment inspired me to start flossing regularly and take better care of my teeth. He taught me guilt does not work.

Once I discovered my guilt I saw it everywhere. I prefer being outdoors to indoors but do my womanly homemaker chores because that's what women do. If I'm honest with myself it's out of guilt.

Misery loves company. Most of us who carry guilt are generous in sharing it. We are masters at giving guilt trips. My family perfected the art of guilt tripping. For many years I continued the legacy.

I don't know anyone who has stopped doing something because they felt guilt. I'm in awe of people who refuse to accept guilt. I suspect self-awareness and a healthy dose of self esteem helps.

I once believed that guilt somehow makes a difference in outcomes. I felt it was my responsibility to feel guilt. Later I discovered I'd felt guilty for so long that the habit is difficult to break. I now believe feeling guilt about outcomes is fruitless. It wastes time and energy. I ask instead, “How can I change the situation?” Guilt no longer wrecks my health, sucks my energy and cripples my self esteem.

Some people say we would be criminals if we had no guilt. In reality those who are destructive do carry guilt and shame but it's unconscious. As Jesus said on His death bed. “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” This does not mean all criminals should be released from jail. Consequences for destructive actions are necessary. What we can release is bitterness, hatred and the need for vengeance. The teachings of Jesus leave no room for guilt. Judge not lest you be judged, he without sin cast the first stone, bless them that curse you. His message is clear, we are all God's children. The flesh may be weak but the spirit is perfect, whole and complete. The real message of Christ life and teaching is His resurrection not his His crucifixion. The image of Jesus dying on the cross leads to guilt. The image of His resurrection releases us of guilt.

“A Course in Miracles” says the ego is the choice for guilt. He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive. The Holy Spirit is the choice for guiltlessness. Guilt serves no function. The Course asks, “Do you judge others fit for crucifixion or redemption?” Pray not to be forgiven but how to forgive. No relationship can rest on guilt as real relationships are Holy. Guilt is always in the mind that has condemned itself. Give no reality to guilt and see no reason for it. Salvation is an escape from guilt. Crucifixion is always the ego's aim. The resurrection is a release from guilt by guiltlessness.

“A Course in Miracles" is about a choice between two parallel "worlds." One is physical and the other spiritual. We can look at the world through ego or through spirit. One is external the other internal. Since God is all love all knowing and all powerful the concept of separation is an illusion.

When we judge another we judge God and ourselves.

“A Course in Miracles" says right mindedness listens to the Mind of God, merely overlooks and forgives what never happened. Wrong-mindedness listens to the ego and makes illusions. Where we saw evil and darkness we now see light and holiness. There is no need for help to enter Heaven for we have never left.

Choosing guiltlessness has brought me more freedom and joy. I now see a more kindly world and walk in gentleness.