Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Brainard Braimah, iM Cates, iD. Wayne Dworsky, iDiane Hundertmark, iValerie, iSandi Schraut, iKeith Dyne, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Becky Ayers

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· 38 Titles
· 18 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Jan, 2011

Becky Ayers, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
by Tygo Lee

Whiskering you off to “other worlds” with this collection of fanciful feline fables...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Then and Now
by Becky Ayers   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Posted: Thursday, September 01, 2011

  Print   Save    Follow    Share 

Recent articles by
Becky Ayers

20 Things you don't want to hear from your husband
20 Things you don't want to hear from your wife
20 things you don't want to hear from your Teenager
The things we say without thinking.
Spousal Arguments:The Destruction of Families
I hear you, I'm just too busy!
Dirty Money
           >> View all

Things sure do change through the years. This short article is a humorous look at some of the changes since I was young.

Then: “Mom, can I have a dime to buy a candy bar?”

Now: “Mom, can I have a dollar to buy a candy car?”


Then: “Turn the TV on. The Brady Bunch is on!”

Now: “Turn the TV on. Family Guy is on!”


Then: “I need $2.00 for more tie dye for my clothes!”

Now: “I need $200.00 to buy this cool retro outfit!”


Then: “I need $3.00 to buy the new Jackson 5 Album!”

Now: “I need $15.00 to buy the new One Republic CD!”


Then: “Don’t cut the tag off my shirt! The tag proves it’s the real thing!”

Now: “Please cut this tag off! That fishing line type thread is scratching the heck out of my back!”


Then: “Dad, can I have a penny for a gumball?”

Now: “Dad, can I have a quarter for a gumball?”


Then: “Billy, please tie your shoes.”

Now: “Billy, please Velcro your shoes.”


Then: “Customer service. May I help you?”

Now: “Customer service. Please press 1 if you would like to speak with someone in tech support. Press 2 if you would like to speak to someone in billing. Press 3 if you would like to return to the main menu. Press 4 if you would like to speak with an operator. If you know the extension of someone you would like to speak to, please enter the extension now. If you would like to hear your choices again, please press 5.”


Then: “I love you so much. I‘m glad the kids are asleep so we can finally have some time alone. I even took the phone off the hook.”

Now: “I love you so much. I’m glad the kids are asleep so we can finally have some time alone….“beep” Oh wait, I have a message on Yahoo, give me a sec and I’ll be right back. Okay, where were we?”


Then: “My parents bought me my first car. It’s 5 years old and only needs a paint job, some new shocks and better tires, but it’s gonna be a sweet ride when I get all that done!”

Now: “My parents just bought me my first car and it‘s new! Dude! The stereo is awesome!!!”


Then: “Mom, it’s the first day of summer vacation, so me and some of my friends are gonna go outside and have fun. I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

Now: “Mom, it’s the first day of summer vacation, so I just wanna veg in my room and play my video games.”


Then: “Dad, can I get a raise in my allowance from 50 cents a week to maybe 60 cents a week?”

Now: “Dad, can I get a raise in my allowance from $10 a week to maybe $15 a week?”


Then: “You’re lucky! You have a 15 inch black & white TV in your bedroom!”

Now: “You’re lucky! You have a 45 inch flat screen in your bedroom!”


Then: “Can I get my ears pierced?”
Now: “Can I get my belly button pierced?”



Then: “Mom! Eddy gave me a ring at school today and we’re going steady now!”
Now: “Mom! My school nurse said I’m pregnant and Eddy asked me to marry him!”


Then: “I need to sit down and get all these checks written and get all these bills in the mailbox before the mailman comes.”

Now: “Bobby move! I need to use the computer to pay our bills.”


Then: “I still have a “D” ticket left from the last time I went to Walt Disney World.”
Now: “I’m broke.”


Then: “I love Saturday mornings! I can watch cartoons for 2 straight hours!”
Now: “I love the Cartoon Network! Non stop cartoons all day, every day!”


Then: “Mom, can I start wearing makeup? All the girls are doing it.”
Now: “Mom, can I get my breasts enlarged? All the girls are doing it.”


Then: “My Dad has a shotgun just in case someone tries to break in.”
Now: “Our whole house is wired and calls the cops automatically if anyone tries to break in again.”

Web Site: Author Becky Ayers

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Popular Humor Articles
  1. The 2000 Year Old Man
  2. Dateline Orlando
  3. Lost C. Burnett Skit
  4. Merry Atheistmas
  5. Silverstream Made Goddess Status
  6. Conniving My Retirement
  7. Well, There's a Power Struggle
  8. It's the Old Spice Guy: Look at Him, Now L
  9. The Entry
  10. Like Grandma, Like Grandson and dealing wi

Quirks / Eclats - photography & texts by Albert Russo by Albert Russo

the world upside down..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Idiots and Children by Diana Estill

Family and observational humor from award-winning author Diana Estill...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.