The Genesis of Facebook – The Birth of Insanity!
So, on the sixth day, God created an ape-like living thing with a much bigger brain and less body hair – MAN. God blessed man and said to him, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.”
A gigantic Error!
God should never ever have allowed man to breed, for he bred insanity. His wages after sin should’ve been a cute castration that’d have left him eternally frustrated. Death was way too cheap a punishment. Look what happened to earth now that man was let off the hook so lightly; Creatures like Mark Elliot Zuckerberg with outstandingly complex minds came to be to outlast the catastrophe that the first human precipitated. But truthfully, catastrophes and all aside, who in their sound mind would want to be called Zuckerberg, or name a fruit of their loin that? And as of Elliot, no one by that name has ever turned out right. Ever heard of Miss Elliot? Be forever grateful to your ancestors if you haven’t! Really and truly, the name Zuckerberg on its own is pretty dizzy. It would surely give any living thing that breathes everlasting nightmares and turn their brains inside out. So imagine what a combination of Zuckerberg and Elliot would do? Parents should be severely chastised or arrested with no parole for naming their kids such. Not only are the names incredibly traumatic, but they are also unforgivably insane. No wonder that guy Zuckerberg went on to create something even more insane than his name: FACEBOOK!
For some of you who are violently scratching your scalps wondering what exactly Facebook is, well, easy with the scalp, I’ll tell you. Just promise not to slay the messenger.
Ok, here we go; Facebook is an online social network that was created by Mark Elliot Zuckerberg in the year 2004. The network has made it possible for Human beings all over the globe to get connected and mess with each other’s lives. It’s like a never-ending gossip chain. Everyone knows crap about everyone else. The word discretion no longer exists in our world. Apart from that, Facebook has also made it easier for the ghostly past to come back and haunt us. In the Stone Age people could run away from the past and live happier lives. Well, not anymore thanks to Zuckerberg! Now the girl who mercilessly bullied you in first grade is constantly in your face to remind you of the pain and humiliation you once suffered, even the boy who once put spiders in your pants and laughed when you cried is back in your life too...and that creature who ate all your lunch and stole your colours every day in third class...and that first love who put a permanent gaping chasm in your heart... Facebook has brought them all back.
Becoming a Facebooker is as easy as ABC. Maybe easier. First you register to open an account, and then you get to choose which souls you want to add up as friends, which ones you want to ignore or block and which ones you just want to stalk. Before you even have a chance to think or brink, the network has already attached its sharp fangs into your soul and turned you into a willing slave - a junkie. You quiver aggressively when you spend a minute away from your computer or smart phone. Within a shortest space of time, you’ve become a full-time insane cyber stalker who’s totally checked out of reality. Facebook has worked it’s mojo on you.
No one is safe!
Insanity has a new residence.