Today at the hospital, as I sat in the waiting room wearing the stupid damn gown, and waiting on the doctor to see me I came to a horrifying discovery. I am old. It should have been a warning to me two years ago when I turned seventy that old was mine to keep and hold forever more. And yes, I did know I was old, I mean, how could I not. When you hit seventy guys and gals the road has just become one-lane and shorter and no detours. What made me completely and forever understand that decay is making progress on my body was what I saw.
The lightning in the waiting room was fluorescent I think, whatever it was it showed myself to me like I'd never seen myself. There were no mirrors that I could admire my youthful seventy-two years, no, but there was a very illuminating light in the ceiling that showed me the roadmap to my grave. I was pacing the floor (I hate to wait) and muttering to myself as I waited for the doctor to show up. I'm convinced the doctor and his nurses watch porn and do nasty things to each other while the patients are left to amuse themselves in frigid waiting rooms with panic nearby as a comfort.
Anyway! I became so agitated I plopped down in the one chair in the room, besides the bed and a rolling stool. I placed my arms on the armrest of the chair, looked down and almost screamed. The skin on my arms had ripples in them. Not wrinkles, ripples, like a shimmering wave. I had seen these things on other old people, but never on me. I live with myself, I see myself more than I see anyone, why did I not notice them until just now? Don't know.
Both arms were rippling and I couldn't make myself stop looking at them. I hope I am making myself clear here about the ripples. It is skin that is loose on your arm or wherever else. Ripples!
This concerned me until the doctor came, gave me drugs and a pep talk and sent me on my way. On the way out I had to stop at a restroom. Did what needed to be done there, and, as I was washing my hands I looked in the mirror (restroom had mirrors) and nearly fainted. Who the fiddle-de-fuddle was that man staring back at me? Again, the lighting in the bathroom was almost a bright as the one in the waiting room. The person's face I was looking at was sagging. Sagging. I know you guys find it difficult to believe that I did not know that, I mean, I do see my face every day. I do, Yes, I do. But the lightning isn't that good in The Hovel.
I have a solution as to why all this, the ripple and the sag, was such a shock. I have been on a strict diet for at least two months. When you see yourself every day you don't notice the change in you. I was weighed at the hospital and came in at 177, which is good considering what I weighed the last time I was there. But I have come to the conclusion that it is the loss of weight that has produced the ripples and the sag. So! No more diet. I came home today and bought a Supreme DiGiorna Pizza with Cheese Stuffed Crust and a box off Swiss Rolls. Zoe and I ate the pizza in two settings and have just now finished off the Swiss Rolls. I need to put on a few pounds.
©July 19, 2011 / Jerry Pat Bolton