AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
USA Independence Day
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Gisele Vincent-Page, iStanley Ely, iJoe tofuri@swbell.net, iDiana Estill, iMary Adair, iJennifer Miller, iTygo Lee, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Mike J Romeling

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· Stories
· 3 Titles
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: May, 2012

Mike J Romeling, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
It's All About Her: A Man-to-Man's Guide to Marital Bliss
by Jim Hamilton

Delivered in a straightforward, witty, and thought-provoking style, Itís All About Her is designed to spur actions and insights that work in the real world. Some of HER s..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members



Special Bulletin--UFO Alert
by Mike J Romeling   
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Last edited: Sunday, May 20, 2012
Posted: Sunday, May 20, 2012

  Print   Save    Follow    Share 


Be very afraid

 

SPECIAL BULLETIN: UFO ALERT



As we all know, UFO is short for Undead Ferocious Otters. You may see them in many places but usually not in beauty parlors. In fact, many women frequent beauty parlors primarily to reduce their risk of encountering Undead Ferocious Otters and to smoke cigarettes. Nobody bothers you about smoking when you've got curlers sticking out of your head, and toxic foam dribbling down onto your nose.

In fact otters rank behind only wolverines and Dick Cheney for general meanness and a tendency to shoot their friends in the snout with bird shot. Imagine then what an undead otter would be like. How, you ask, do the otters become undead? Scientists disagree on this issue but are quick to point out that it has nothing to do with global warming, evolution, or the fact that Britney Spears suddenly forgot how to dance. Some evidence points to an increasing number of dead otters watching "American Idol."

Your personal safety may depend on you ability to distinguish between a regular meanie otter and an undead otter. Fortunately we have guidance here from none other than the distinguished un-naturalist and sanitation engineer, Horace Tinkleberry. "Poke em in the rear end and see if ya live to tell about it," he advises. Tinkleberry should know since, for many years, he has consistently fallen out of his own tree house.

Once you have definitely identified an Undead Ferocious Otter, you have these three alternatives:

1. Call Dick Cheney. He's still got plenty of ammo and will shoot at anything.

2. Encourage the otter to mate with a blowfish. The result will be a blotter that you can hold in front of your face to protect your eyes.

3. Disable the Undead Ferocious Otter by singing Barry Manilow songs.



Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Popular Humor Articles
  1. Like Grandma, Like Grandson and dealing wi
  2. Frog Heaven
  3. The 2000 Year Old Man
  4. Lost C. Burnett Skit
  5. Merry Atheistmas
  6. A Penny For My Thoughts?
  7. Conniving My Retirement
  8. We Do Wait
  9. 2014 and 2015
  10. Truth or Bull-Poop

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon and Other Ravings from the Blogosp by Edward Patterson

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon: a cure for short attention spans..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Bingo and Bullets - Book Two: The Scarpelli Scorpions by Mark Sutton

The 'killer crinklies' of Crabley-on-Sea return in book two of the 'Bingo and Bullets' saga...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.