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Ivan Connor

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Friendship: The Three Stages of Friendship
by Ivan Connor   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Sunday, July 22, 2012
Posted: Sunday, July 22, 2012

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Want to learn the true meaning of friendship and the stages that are required of it?



The Three Stages of Friendship



Have you ever taken the time to think about the word “friendship”? If you never have stopped and thought about that word, it is time to do so. In this short transcript I wish to explain the true meaning of friendship and the three stages that every friendship has. This transcript may not be true as it is written from a personal opinion. This is my opinion on friendship and so therefore what I think friendship looks like. Many people have different feelings about friendship and these are my thoughts toward friendship. You may totally agree on some parts I say and then on some parts I say, you may totally disagree. This short transcript is just to guide you the basic terms of friendship and how the three stages are different from each other. At the end of this transcript, I hope that the reader will get a good meaning on the term “friendship” and will apply some of the things toward their friendship and actually take time to think about where they stand in their friendship toward one another. The main questions I will want to answer in this transcript are like, what is friendship? When does friendship start? What are the three basic stages of friendship? Are we really friends? How do I know this is a true friendship? Many more questions I will answer in this transcript so feel free to read on and learn the true meaning of what the word “friendship” means to me and should mean to everyone else. This word is not to be taken lightly. Friendship is a strong word and it is something valuable and treasured. Friendship is delicate like glass. If you meddle with it too much, it can crack or even be destroyed. Yet it can be repaired in time, but there will always be the tiny cracks in it that cannot be fully mended, yet true friendship looks past those cracks and moves on. So I hope at the end of this transcript, many people will begin to realize the true meaning of friendship and will take it less lightly in their friendships.






So, what is friendship? Friendship has many definitions and many people define it many ways. The definition I like of friendship is found at They describe friendship as a “friendly relation or feeling toward one another.” There are many different definitions of friendship though. Many good definitions as well as this one. Now, friendship is good to have. It is good to have very good friends at times. Having too many friends can be a problem to some. It is good to have a few good friends, but too many can lead to destruction is some peoples life. Friendship doesn’t just appear out of the blue when you see someone. You have got to build it up. When you meet someone for the first time, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are their friend. You have got to earn that title. First of all you should be friendly toward each other and then just see where that leads too. Not everyone you meet is necessarily your friend. Everyone needs to learn that. Friendships have many consequences too. There are friendships that can be false. Those kinds of friendships are very disappointing. I have had instances before where I thought I was friends with some people, but it turned out they were using me, or they weren’t friends. Some friendships betray one another also. So when you get into a friendship, make sure it is strong and make sure you build it up. Some friendships and friends will disappoint you and hey that is life. There are those kinds of people that are total jerks and will backstab you or talk behind your back that claim to be your friends. So when getting into a friendship, make sure you realize the consequences that may follow. Not every friendship is simple. Friendships have their hard times and true friendship will endure these hard times and move past them. That is what friendship means to me. Some people will get friends just to make them look popular and some will just get friends to make them do stuff for them that they don’t feel like doing. If you think hard though, that is not true friendship and it will crumble and that person will be disappointed in thinking they were friends. I am writing this short transcript to help those people that suffered from false friendship or that are wanting to start a friendship. After reading this transcript, I would like the reader to realize the big step he or she is making in their life and that they will fully grasp the true meaning of friendship and will hold on no matter what befalls their friendship. Friendship again, is a valuable and precious thing to have. When you are feeling down or need someone there, it is always to have a good friend beside you to listen and to comfort you and to help you out with whatever problems you have. So, I hope that the reader will take this transcript to heart and realize the big step he or she is making when they enter into a friendship. One last quote I would like to share for this part of the transcript. This quote defines friendship to me and I am always remembered of this quote whenever I am facing problems with friendships that I have. “Friendship is not capable of ending, for if it ends, it is only because it never really existed.” So therefore, if you have a friend and he or she decides to end it, then really it never existed. True friendship sticks forever even if the person moves on in life. You will always remain friends. There may be one day you bump into each other and remember that person and then just be like, “hey I remember you” or “hey remember the time when…” and so forth. True friendship is never lost and the memories will always be in your heart. So next time a person tells you they don’t want to be your friend anymore or they don’t want to ever talk to you again, then they were never really friends to begin with and you wasted all that time in thinking you were friends. I am also writing this transcript to help people realize these kinds of situations and hopefully after reading this transcript the reader will avoid these kinds of mistakes in their friendship. Hopefully the reader will, before making a friendship, take time to evaluate the friendship and make sure it is loyal and true to the end. The most heartbreaking thing to a person can be the loss of a friendship or the loss of a true friendship. So please take what I say to heart and think about your friendship and where it stands. Now remember, this may not be totally accurate as this is only my opinion on friendship, but I also do have a point. Whenever an author writes his or her opinion on a topic its usually what is on their mind. Yeah it may have faults in whatever they are writing but people still take what they say to practice and learn from future mistakes. So I hope that the reader will continue reading this transcript and realize and benefit the true meaning of friendship.






                                    Good, Better, Best


Now when I think about friendship I think about three stages towards it. When you become friends with someone you build your friendship up to where you are considered as “good friends”. After you remain friends a while longer after that and keep on building it up, you then can become to the stage that I consider, “better friends”. Finally after some time and after you feel like your friendship is true and that your friend will always be there for you no matter what and they he or she will never ditch your friendship, you reach the last stage of friendship, which then you can finally say to your friend that you are officially, “best friends”. This is my opinion on friendship. I believe friendship has three main stages people go through. Not every friendship reaches all three stages and many people have many good friends. It is good to have a few good friends. Then there are those people that have a few better friends and that is good as well. If you are lucky however and you have a strong friendship toward one another, some people can be best friends. Best friends is hard in my opinion to reach. People don’t usually have many best friends and can hardly ever say sometimes that they are best friends. Reaching the final stage of friendship is hard to do and you don’t just do that overnight. It takes time and even if you never reach that stage, your friendship isn’t going to fail. Not every friendship you have with a person ever reaches that stage or comes close to it. If your friendship reaches that stage however, then that friendship ought to stay strong and forever and never break apart. That is a very strong friendship and if broken, it can be very disastrous to some. So when reaching that stage, take time to think if you really are ready to enter into that stage and evaluate with your friend if you are ready to become best friends. It is good to evaluate with your friends once or twice a month to see where your friendship is standing and what needs to be changed in your friendship or what problems you may be facing in your friendship and what needs to happen to make it worthwhile. Some people wonder how I classify friendship into three stages. Well it came from the idea in grammar. The comparative form of good is better and the superlative form is best. That fits so well with friendship as well. When you become friends for a while you suddenly turn into good friends. After being good friends for a while and building up your friendship you become better friends than you were before. Then after becoming better friends and building up towards that friendship you can in some friendships classify your friendship as best friends. Don’t be disappointed if your friendship never reaches that stage. It is the hardest, in my opinion, stage to reach and takes much time. I will explain each of the stages one at a time and how each stage has its weaknesses and how to know what stage you fit into in your friendship. Just continue reading this transcript to find out more about your friendship and where it stands.



Good Friends



At the start of a friendship you can just be classified basically as friends. Friends then hang out and talk and get to know each other in time. After doing that for a while you can become good friends and just spend more time together and having fun and doing many silly and stupid things. That is what friendships are for. They are to have fun with one another and to brighten each others day. They are also to comfort one another in troubled times and to cheer each other up. Now every friendship has fights and arguments. I don’t think I’ve ever known a friendship that hasn’t. It’s life. Friends disagree on things or when they get mad at each other they ignore each other or just try to break their friendship up. It is your job to not let that happen and to fix your friendship before it crumbles and lets go. I’d like to share a story on how I met a good friend. I will leave this persons name out just for personal reasons and not everyone needs to know the name of this person and I am sure this person doesn’t want their name out everywhere as well. Just for safety issues. Well, one day I met this person. Now I never thought we would become friends. I was thinking to myself, “oh just another person I get to work with, no biggie”. I met this person at the place I work. At my job yeah you’re basically friends with everyone there. Until that person pisses you off or yeah. So going on with my story. Well when this person was hired, I had no intentions on becoming such good friends. You know what the funny thing is though. Almost a year later now, we are very good friends. Yeah we fight once in a while or get terrible arguments. Every friendship has those. It took a whole year about just to reach and remain in the first stage. This shows that friendship takes time to build and that you can’t just skip the stages of friendship. Friendship needs a solid base and needs to grow. Its like a plant. Starts out as a seed, you water it every day, and it grows stronger and finally becomes a flower or whatever you planted. It is fully grown and remains strong.  A good friendship has its loose ends. Every good friendship has its weaknesses. A good friendship is good to have with one another. If you want your good friendship to move on you should work on fixing the loose ends and taking time to listen to your friend. Help your friend with whatever they need more. Next time they make you mad or just piss you off, don’t get mad back at them. Shut your mouth and just move on. Later on talk to them and tell them what they said offended you or that. Avoid going into an argument because that just makes your friendship more complicated. So every good friendship in order to pass the first stage needs to be controlled more and needs to be built up. Both the people in the friendship need to control their friendship. They need to have fewer arguments, learn to control their temper when they get mad at each other. They should begin to learn more things about each other, and get to know each other more. Also, good friends to move on to the next stage need to learn that if something they are doing is making the other person mad or if they don’t approve of it, that person needs to stop just for the friends sake. It is never good to piss off your friend and keep on doing whatever they don’t like you to do. Friends care about each other and want what is best for you and when you just don’t care about that, and then your friend can say things that they don’t really mean or joke around and then your friendship becomes more complicated and is even harder to reach the next stage. So for those people who think their friendship is good where it is and they don’t feel like they want to or need to move on right now then I suggest you stop reading. You have read far enough and now know what a good friendship requires and the consequences and true meaning of friendship. Those wanting to move onto the next stage in becoming better friends should keep on reading. Friendship is not a game. Moving on stages just for fun to reach the best friend stage is not a game. It takes time and if he or she thinks it’s a game, then they are not taking their friendship seriously and it will fail and they are not really best friends. So treat your friendship as glass. Remember that illustration. Glass can be easily breakable, but if broken, it can still be repaired. So yeah, if you are truly friends with a person then your friendship is never capable of ending. No matter what, your friendship will remain forever even if you lose contact with that person. You will always remain friends forever as you go on. You will still remember the precious times you spent together and those memories will always be treasured in your heart. I will now advance us to the next stage of friendship, so I advise those who want to keep on reading and taking their friendship to the next stage to stay tuned for more advice on friendship and how it can be advanced and grown stronger.




Better Friends



So once you remain good friends for a while and feel like you want to take your friendship to the next level and you and your friend both decide you want to become better friends then you are ready to enter into the next stage. This stage occurs when you have been good friends for a while and you have just become better friends. Yeah you still fight and argue. At this stage however, you don’t fight and argue as much. You listen to each others needs more. You put your friend first than yourself. You just simply act nicer and act more like a better friend. There is not that big of a difference between stage one and stage two. The biggest difference and the hardest stage to reach is the last best friend stage. This stage is somewhat similar to the first stage knows as the good friend stage. You still act like good friends and all of that. You are just better friends than you used to be and you are still good friends but better. Every stage of friendship has arguments however. You will fight sometimes and lose temper toward each other and take it out on each other sometimes but as you go into each of these stages your friendship becomes stronger and you will tend to fight less, argue less, and control your temper. You will begin to admire your friend more, and listen to whatever they have to say. You will begin to accept your friend for whoever they are and whatever they do. If they annoy you, you will still remain friends with them. You can tell them to stop and if they really care about you and if you are bothering them, then at this stage they should stop whatever they are doing that is annoying you and never do that again. At this stage you should know that your friend cares about you and the choices you make. They want what is best for you. You both should know what makes each other mad and what makes each other happy. You both should know what each other like and just get to know each other a lot at this stage. Other than that this stage doesn’t have that big of a difference in change than the first stage. The next stage after this is the biggest step in life. I will soon talk about this stage for you. This last stage is the biggest leap in your friendship and you can go no further. You will officially become best friends. Yeah you’ll fight once in a while, but you will be sorry for what you did and try to make it up right when you get into an argument or fight with each other. So for those who want to move on in their friendship, I advise you to read on further and how you can advance your friendship to the next and last level. For those who think they have reached the second stage and don’t want to reach the last level as it will mean to much responsibility for them, then that’s ok and you can remain good friends but better than good. As you reach this last stage it doesn’t mean you stop growing in your friendship and making it stronger. Once you are best friends you still grow. You make it stronger and make those memories last. Best friends stick forever and are always there when you need them. Just because this is the last stage, it doesn’t mean you stop trying to be friends once you reach this stage. You still grow in your friendship and become the best of friends and have the best of times together.





Best Friends




This is the final stage toward a true friendship that wants to become the best friendship there is. After becoming good friends, and then becoming better friends, you can become best friends. This is the last stage and the hardest one to reach. There is a major difference with this stage than any other stage I have described. By the time you reach this stage your friendship should be so secure and strong that you hardly ever argue or get into big arguments and you are always there for each other. Best friends are there for each other at the best of times and at the worst of times. When one friend is feeling down, he or she will cheer them up no matter how down the friend is. Best friends are there for each other till the bitter end. Yeah best friends will get into arguments sometimes and ignore each other, but they shouldn’t ignore each other for long or stop talking to each other because they are such close friends and it just hurts both of them and they aren’t accomplishing anything by doing that. They are just tearing each other apart. They are just acting selfish toward themselves and are not caring about the other person and how they feel. So when best friends get into big arguments or fights together, they need to make up and apologize as soon as possible. To reach this final stage is a hard thing to do. Some friends wonder, how do I know I’m ready for this stage? When do I know I am in this stage? You are ready for this stage when you feel your friendship is so secure that you hardly ever get into arguments. You care what your friend says. You are always there for them no matter what. You treat him or her like a brother and sister. Whenever they ask for help you go out of the way for them. Whenever they are feeling down you try to cheer them up. If they ask you to go away, you let them be but give them some time and encouragement. That is what best friendship looks like. Best friendship is hard to achieve. In my life I have about three to four best friends that I can freely call my best friends. I am currently trying to make another best friendship, but it is a long and difficult task that I am willing to endure. I have known this person for almost a year and I feel like we are almost reaching the final stage. Even if we never reach the final stage soon, we will stay patient and try to reach the final stage. For a friendship to reach the best friend stage, both friends have to work together. They both need to cooperate and try to help each other out. They need to learn the true meaning of friendship. When one person gets mad at the other they shouldn’t call of their friendship or threaten to call it off, because then you aren’t really best friends. If your friend gets mad at you, try to resolve it and tell them you are sorry. Some best friends even give each other a hug once they apologize. It makes them feel better and helps them live the day if they are troubled. So once you have reached this stage, then congratulations. You have literally taken your friendship to many hard measures and passed through many hardships and toils along the way. To illustrate, the pathway to the final stage is like climbing a mountain. Imagine you are on a walk path and its clear and smooth. Suddenly half way you see small rocks and pot holes trying to trip you. Dodge those potholes and rocks and keep walking up toward the peak. Suddenly sometimes you fall in the potholes or trip. Sometimes you scratch or hurt yourself badly, and even sometimes cry you are so hurt. No matter what, get back up and keep going. Never ever stop till you reach the final stage, what I like to call as the peak of the mountain. Once you reach the final stage, yes you may have some rough times, but you wont and shouldn’t have as much hard times as you did before. Your friendship by now should be strong and secure. You shouldn’t fight as much. You should always be there for each others needs. No matter what happens you will always be there for your friend. That is how I see friendship through the stages. The last stage is the toughest to reach but once you reach it, it pays off and you will have fun times together and enjoy those moments together.




Conclusion of Stages





If you have read this article all the way down to this far already, you should by now know what true friendship looks like and the three stages that follow it. The first stage is known as good friendship stage. The second is known as better friendship stage. The third and last is known as the best friend stage. The three stages combined all in all make true friendship count. Not everyone goes through all three stages in their friendship and not everyone is required to. Most people just go through the first stage of friendship. Few go to the second stage, and only a rare case go to the third stage and stick to it and move on from there. Friendship is not something to take lightly and joke around if you have been friends for a while. Yeah your friend may let you down some day or make you feel like they are just using you or are not really your friend. If they are truly your friend, go talk to them and tell them how you feel. Resolve things with your friend. Tell them what you think and what needs to be changed. If they disagree with you and argue back, then say to yourself, “is this really a true friend”? A true friend will always listen to you and try to do whatever pleases you in most cases because they care about you and what you do with your future. They care what happens to you and will always be there for you when you want them to be if they are available. If sometimes you are having a bad day or just want to hang out with your friend and they don’t feel like it, don’t blow out on them. They may be busy or they may have plans. It doesn’t mean you can’t move on in life if they aren’t there always to help you cheer up. A friend sticks at all times. Sometimes you may feel like you wish you never became friends or you wish you never met the person if you get so close in your friendship. Then there are those days you are glad you guys met and that you are glad that the person came into your life. As life moves on people grow older and it seems like your friends will go away. It seems like you will never see the person in your life again, especially if you are very close friends. The person may move out of state, country, get married, and you may never see or be in contact with them again. You will always remain true friends though. If you are truly friends you will be friends forever no matter what happens. You will sometimes think back to when you were younger and the fun times you had when you were close and best friends. When you are older you may think back to those moments once in a while. So yeah, you may never see your best friend in the future, but if you don’t, make today count. Make the present friendship you have now count. Build your friendship up. Make it count and worth it. Have adventures; try out new things with your friend. Make memories together that you can share some day to your kids if you have some or to other people you meet along the way. Becoming friends with a person is a treasured moment. Becoming better friends with them is valuable. Finally becoming best friends with them is treasured, valuable, and precious. So I challenge you today. If you have a friend, evaluate with him or her and see where you are at in your friendship. Do you want to step it up to the next stage. If not, then that’s totally fine. It doesn’t mean you aren’t friends. It just means you don’t want to become best friends and that is ok. It is good to have just good friends and too many best friends can be hard for a person to have. The more best friends you have, the more difficult it is to please every single of your best friend. So evaluate your friendship and see where you are. See what needs to be changed no matter what stage you both are in. Every friendship has problems they need to fix to become better friends and you should fix those problems even if you are just good friends. A friend is like a brother or sister at all times and should be treated like one too. Yeah they can annoy you sometimes and you can sometimes wish you never were around your friend, but friends do crazy things and they are just people like you. I have finally summarized the three stages of friendship for those who wanted to know. Now this is all just my opinion on friendship. You don’t have to agree with everything I say. Some stuff I say though are important and have a meaning behind it. Thank you for taking the time to read all the way this far. If you continue reading I will list some pointers on friendship and how you can make your friendship last and the major concerns on friendship that people worry about and have in their friendship.

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