AuthorsDen.com  Join (free) | Login 

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: al squitieri,sr, iRM DAmato, iGina LoBiondo, iFrancis Eaden, iBrian Hill, iDilip Dahanukar, iJames Becher, i
  Home > Relationships > Articles
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Tina B Tessina

· Become a Fan
  Notify me of new titles
  added by this author.

· 466 titles
· 255 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
·
Member Since: Mar, 2001

   Sitemap
   My Blog
   Success Story
   Contact Author
   Message Board
   Read Reviews

Newsletter
Subscribe to the Tina B Tessina Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:


Books
· The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart

· Money, Sex and Kids:

· It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction

· How To Be a Couple and Still Be Free

· The Real Thirteenth Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve S

· The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40

· The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again

· The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make AFTER Forty


Articles
· Dear Dr. Romance: I am very confused and disillusioned

· Dear Dr. Romance: I am very confused and disillusioned

· Dear Dr. Romance: Everyone Thinks all truck drivers are perverts

· Dear Dr. Romance: Everyone Thinks all truck drivers are perverts

· Dr. Romance: You Are a Gift

· Dear Dr. Romance: Everyone has been trying to reunite me with my exes.

· Guidelines for Being Better Understood

· Dr. Romance on The Worrier’s Guidelines: simple steps to combat worry

· Dear Dr. Romance: I'm in my late 40s and feeling very unhopeful about my fu

· Getting Out of Your Way


Poetry
· The Shape of Peace

· Inspiration

· Eternal Dance - Christmas 2005

· On Mitch and Jackie’s engagement

· On love

· Bitter lesson

· Redemption

· ANGELS IN DISGUISE

· Storytellers

· Vessels

         More poetry...
Tina B Tessina, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Eight tips for raising your children together after divorce.

(To view video, click here.)

No matter how angry or hurt you may be after a divorce, if you have children, you’ll still share a lifetime with their other parent, your ex. Dr. Romance offers guidelines for moving past the anger and hurt, and finding a way to co-parent your children that is good for everyone.

Commonly, everyone feels wounded after a divorce. The divorced parents are going through feelings of failure, rejection, abandonment and loss. The children have similar feelings. All these hurt feelings lead to competitiveness, drama and recriminations. Divorced parents, in sharing custody, can retaliate against each other by making visitation difficult, bad-mouthing the other parent (or the new partner or step-parent) to the children, withholding child support and trying to get the children to deliver inappropriate messages to the other spouse, like "Mommy says you didn't dress us right."

Divorced parents can avoid these scenarios by using the following guidelines:

Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Co-Parenting after Divorce

* Don't React, Respond: When the other parent does something upsetting, take time to cool down before responding, and respond with a possible solution.

* Talk About It to safe people: Talk to other couples, to a therapist, to friends and to family to create more understanding and brainstorm about options. If you can find other couples who have resolved divorce differences, find out what they decided. Let off steam to safe people, so your children don't experience your anger and frustration.

* Explain Your Ex's Point of View: When talking about it to each other, or to someone else who is supportive, explain each other's point of view, which will help you understand.

* Focus on Your Children: Keep your focus on what would be best for your children; and if they are old enough to understand, bring them into the discussion. Don't try to persuade them to either side, but present the options as objectively as you can, and find out what your children think about it.

* Experiment: Be willing to try some experiments. Try it the way the other parent wants it, to see if it works. Try letting the children decide how they want it to be, within reason.

* Avoid Right/Wrong Discussions: Arguing about who is right or wrong will not solve anything. Instead, work on understanding what is important to each of you, then finding a way to incorporate that and resolve your differences. Focus on the problem only long enough to understand what it is, then switch the focus of your discussion to what will work, and what will solve the problem that both of you can live with your mutual decision.

* While the kids are small, still do some family activities with all of you together.

* Introduce new partners slowly and very cautiously, hopefully time will pass before you do this. Don’t spring a new partner on your spouse or your children. Don’t say “This is your new Stepmother (Stepfather).” That will set you up for disaster.

While this takes some self-control, and isn't easy, it is worth learning to handle your situation in a grown-up manner, and keep what's best for the children in mind. You'll all be a lot happier, and your kids won't be left with burdens from your mistakes.

For more information about how not to fight, see Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage

MoneySexKids galley cover

Web Site Dr. Romance
f

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!



Books by
Tina B Tessina



The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make AFTER Forty

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Kindle, Amazon, more..




Money, Sex and Kids:

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




The Commuter Marriage: Keep Your Relationship Close While You’re Far Apart

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, more..




It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, Barnes & Noble, more..




The Real Thirteenth Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, more..




How To Be a Couple and Still Be Free

Buy Options
Signed copy!
Amazon, more..


Popular
Relationships Articles
  1. Steve Allen's First Date with Jane Meadows
  2. Bond Girls Shop with Their Boyfriends
  3. Mom Dumps My $7,000 Monster Magazine
  4. George Raft Helps I Love Lucy's Lucille Ba
  5. Dr. Romance: You Are a Gift
  6. How to Grow Old Together
  7. An Open Letter to Husbands & Partners
  8. If You Tell The Truth, You Don’t Have To R
  9. Practice Community
  10. Dear Dr. Romance: We Still Love Each Other
  11. Bummer
  12. Dear Dr. Romance: is it natural for a man
  13. Happy New Year from Dr. Romance!
  14. Is He Your True Love? One Way to Know For
  15. Merry Christmas from Dr. Romance!
  16. Adventures in Dating
  17. When Two Old Friends Meet For The Last Tim
  18. Dear Dr. Romance: I don't want to keep mak
  19. Family Violence Q&A
  20. Creating Holiday Magic

You can also search authors by alphabetical listing: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z



Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen

© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.