Infidelity, sexless, financial arguments, lack of respect, feelings of abandonment, rejection, loneliness, etc., Pick one. If yours is not on this list, then take a piece of paper and write yours down. This list sounds like selfishness, self-centeredness, neediness, lack of significance. They are about something that someone is expecting to get from another person.
The real problem in the marriage: you don’t care about other people. You have a self focus rather than a “we” focus. That is your problem. Pick anyone of the above and think about what was said so far. There is a need that we have inside, a void, that is with us from birth. Our journey through life is in search of some way to fulfill that void.
We have grown in many areas of our lives except spiritual. Because we don’t understand spiritual matters, we can’t see the spirit, we often discount its relationship to us. Man’s life started with the spirit. It is said that God breathed into man, and he became a living being. And from man He took a rib and created woman.
Man was created and woman was designed from a piece of man. The woman was then presented to the man, and she completed him until the thirst for knowledge blinded them to the work of creation and their purpose, causing a void, a spiritual separation, which interfered with their physical and spiritual relations.
Two people get married because there is a need which they interpret through emotions as a need for them to be together, and they believe they are the answer to each other’s void, and then they grow apart. What they thought was love, seemed to have faded, and they can’t figure out what is wrong.
It is like trying to grow a plant in soil without sunlight. If it is a good mixture of soil, it will thrive for a little while, but if it does not get water and the nutrients in the soil are used up, the life force; in the absence of water and sunlight, the survival will be slim.
Marriages start off like that. For a few years two people are able to feed each other, take from each other, give to each other but without the knowledge of the spirit’s relationship, no higher heights can be reached.
The spirit’s role in our lives is misunderstood but yet man knows he is more than body and mind. There is an existence even beyond that. Our problems in life are spiritual attempts to transform our lives, to bring us back into this spiritual fellowship, to enlighten us, and a union with another human does not stop the spirit’s working.
Marriage was God’s way of making us whole within him, but we blew it. Well, we didn’t but our predecessors. When a man takes a wife, she is suppose to complete him. Most men don’t know what God’s spiritual plan is for their lives, and neither do the women they take to be their wives. A man takes a wife before God, and witnesses, yet only partially understanding spiritual matters, or what it means.
The two go before God and makes a declaration to each other, not realizing you have asked, in those vows to each other, God to be in the center of the marriage; the two become a threesome. That means you lay aside the self and it becomes “we” and God; that you have given him permission to have a presence in this marriage but after the vows God is pushed to the side.
So what has happened, you started a marriage with a half truth, and no foundation from which to work at this marriage, based only on what you think you know, and it is not working.
It’s not too late! Perhaps you have never prayed before, or thought you needed to. In order for you to do your part you need all of the tools to work with. What always surprises me, if you are in college you go to your student counselor for advice on what you should do, the best choices.
But most people never think to ask the invisible God anything; they assume because they don’t know him, that he doesn’t know them. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Try it!
Save your marriage before it's too late