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Divinity 11 11

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The Ants Go Marching One by One
By Divinity 11 11   

Last edited: Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Posted: Wednesday, December 31, 2003

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Soundoff...one..two....

Da da da da da da! Mommy Power! I am super mom, killing ants everywhere to save the small male child from certain ant doom.
Now, personally I don't mind the little guys too much. I've never been one to go out of my way to kill insects, because I believe they deserve life just as much as me. However, when they start invading my home one by one and terrorizing my son, it becomes a different story. When I get woke up siz times a night because my son sees one in the bathroom or is having nightmares about them, ants take on a new meaning. They mean war.
These aren't just the little annoying ants that people often find in their kitchen or along a windowsill. These are the big black ants that have torsos large enough to easily distinguish from their heads. The kind that miraculously survive the fall of your foot on their head....repeatedly. They were only finding their way into our house one at a time at first. Then their appearances were more and more frequent, but still only one at a time. Darn these insect terrorists. I just know they're trying to overrun us.
The ant sighting increased until one morning, to my son's horror, there were about 15 huge ants crawling around on our living room floor rug. Maybe I should mention at this point that my son is my only child. Now, this morning my nice deep sleep was disrupted by the shrill scream of a little girl. At first, I thought, "Oh, it's just my daughter."
As the screams pierced deeper and deeper into my conciousness, I realized that I didn't have a daughter and jumped out of bed to find out what was going on. I rushed to the rescue in the living room only to find my son in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
Please take note that I am a mom of little ant arsenal. So I did what anyone with limited fire power would do. I grabbed a can of hair spray and handed my son a shoe. I went around spraying them as he followed behind me trying to squish them. By the sound of my son's continued screams and his jerking about as he tried to avoid the ants, I realized this wasn't working. I cleared some stuff out of the way and planted my son safely on the couch. Or so I thought, until an ant went running across it, causing a downpour of fresh tears and even more screams. After killing this lone soldier, I pulled out the heavy artillery: the vacuum.
With just a few quick swipes, I wiped out their entire defense. I looked carefully around to make sure I got them all as I heard a few ebbing sniffles from behind. I turned to face my son and gave him a high five. We are victorious!
I am sure there will be other battles fought and the war is far from over, but right now, we are just going to sit and enjoy a pop-tart in celebration. We will gloat in our victory over the small creatures that are 1/1000 our size. As we sit and gloat, one question lingers in my mind. How did his dad manage to sleep through the whole thing?


I realize that hairspray and a shoe may not be the most logical way to take care of an ant problem. Therefore, I have researched a few ways that EXPERTS (whatever those are) suggest you deal with annoying little fellows.

*Cleaners such as ammonia, bleach, Formula 408
*Natural methods such as chili pepper, oil, vinegar, lemon juice
*sprays such as Raid, Black Flag, and Hot Shot
*Baits and traps such as Ortho, Grants, and Combat
*Plugging up holes in wall cracks and exterior doors
*Creating a moat around pet food by placing the bowl of pet food in the middle of a dish of soapy water

In a research done in Northern California, the most effective method in controlling ants was the spray. Only slightly less effective were the cleansers and traps. Least effective were the natural methods. None of these products completely prevent or stop an ant infestation, however. They only help to control the intensity of the infestation. When making your decision remember that poisons are toxic. You may want to keep this in mind, as you may not want extra toxins in your home. Whatever you choose to do, knowing how to battle these ants more effectively may help you to be more victorious in your war, but don't ever underestimate the power of a good vacuum.

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Reviewed by Leland Waldrip 1/6/2004
Love bugs in east Texas that make fast-moving windshields opaque in one eighth of a second, two five gallon bucketfuls of lady bugs from one home in Virginia, crickets piled ten inches deep along the sidewalks in San Antonio, Texas, and mayflies being scraped from the approaches to the Mississippi River bridge at Clinton, Iowa/Savannah, Illinois with a road grader -- I've seen bugs.
Best regards,
Leland
Reviewed by Divinity 11 1/2/2004
haha, that's funny..i'm infested with lady bugs now.....not quite that bad though, it's few enough that i scoop them up in my hands and toss them out the window so they can fly away...

i kind of like going in my bathroom and seeing one on the corner of my mirror or crawling along the bathtub

but that's just me..im such a hippie
:)
jess
Reviewed by Debra Conklin 1/2/2004
A vacuum was my choice of weaponry, as well, when the Lady Bug infestation of 2000 hit my home. Though, well meaning allies of the Lady Bug, reported to me that they were actually good to have in your home and garden and posed no threat to me or my family, I chose to disregard their blatant disregard for my well being, as hundreds of Lady Bugs swarmed the front of my house, successfully obstructing my entrance into my home. And if that wasn't enough they had located cracks in my windows and beneath and around doors and squeezed themselves into the interior of my fortress. My only recourse was, of course, the awesome sucking of my trusty vacuum. But, the battle was not over, for each summer I must endure their inevitable onslaught on my home. But, I am always prepared for battle, now. I invested in, my local Walmart's, top of the line sucking machine (which was still a bargain at 199.99). Bring it on Lady Bugs, I'm ready!

Debbie

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