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R A Beeman

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   Recent articles by
R A Beeman

Just To Be Mom
The Unfair Affair
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The Fair Affair
By R A Beeman   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Monday, January 15, 2007
Posted: Monday, January 15, 2007

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Do we wither on the vine of life or do we taste the sweetness of new wine. The bottom line is simple. Either we get busy living or get busy dying.


     I often sit and wonder about the myraid relationships that exist in society and what they all mean.  I myself walked through several 
long term relationships and a marriage that lasted eighteen years.  I can't say all those years were unhappy, but when two imcompatible people unite in the sancitity of marriage even then there is a reasonable expectation that the "death do us part" idea should be a means to an end; however, such is not the case always.  Thus, I curiously find myself in the midst of the happiest time of my life and I am quietly enjoying a renaissance of emotions long ago put away. 
     There is no question that in today's world two people have to work harder and spend more and more time together just to keep the trials and tribulations of daily life from suffocating what little togetherness they truly share.  The total lack of communication, shared interests, and just being lazy causes immense distress in the human spirit.  Thus, the door to a better future, whether perceived or not, is cracked open to reveal the hidden weakness in all humans.  The universal cries for peace, joy, and happiness calls out to every person caught in a mundane, dying, or defunct relationship.  We all deserve to be happy in both our inner spirit and our outer body.  Now I find myself in my own story: It's the story of the fair affair.
     The weather was great for our day's outing at the farm riding our quads for the day and enjoying a lunch and get together of our quad riding family.  I was curious to meet a new member of our group who doesn't live very far from me who would be attending the day's activities.  Sure enough there she came, minivan and all.  I was smitten with the stereotypical male vision of eye candy as she walked up to meet my friends and me.  She truly was a beautiful woman dressed in those tight jeans that would make any man blush because she knows he is looking.  Sure enough; even though my mind didn't want to go there, my eyes surely did.
     "Man. She has a fine ass. " I thought loud enough for the other guys to hear.
     That was my first impression of my Wild Pony and over the last seven months a true lady and gentleman fairy like tales adventure has emerged.
     We played and rode hard that first chance meeting and enjoyed a nice lunch with everyone else.  I did take notice that she was eating those stuffed tomatoes that I brought to share.  I thought that was a good sign for sure.  "At least she likes my cooking, " I thought to myself. Our see ya laters, email me, or give me a call ended the day for all of us.  I never really thought much more of Pony until we began to chat about general things that we have in common.  Seemed like both of us were seaching for some reality and sense to life issues that we used that as our common ground to stand on.
     After many emails and phone calls, I guess she had to find out if I was a "typical" guy-a good bullshitter, or did I have something different to offer.  Sure enough, I failed that encounter by reading the wrong lines at the beginning of that first page in our life's book.  It is now funny, but not then.  I waited until the next day to say that I was sorry many times over.  Even then I think she saw past that fake men's bravado that I put up and looked straight into places that I thought were long lost.  I did become concerned that she was a very different from most women I have met.  The more we talked the more I realized that I couldn't bullshit her with sweet little words and phrases wrapped up in flowers and chocolate.  I did those things because that is who I am and she enjoyed that.  Nope, she was the real deal.  Married, four wonderful children, a house, and a street savy intelligence that I had to admire.  We both were searching for the same wonderful things in life and thus we began to dissect, and still are dissecting, all aspects, thoughts, secret things, and every facet of our life in order to make sense of the intersection we are fast approaching.
     I am sure that the road to a fair affair has been traveled so many times it is impossible to even know the number.  However, I am the one on the road and now must figure out how all this stuff works.  The more I learned about Pony's life the more I saw a unhapy, unthanked, and unappreciated soul who was just marking time in a marriage that she has no emotional attachment with.  I finally found someone who is in a relationship that I was forced to leave.  Like me, kids, house, and other concerns keep the malcontents going.  I couldn't help but think that we could have good times being each other's sounding board and close friends.  Our times over the first few months were filled with more laughs than any slap stick comedy could provide.  She laughed at my silly sayings and goofy antics.  She did enjoy my cooking and the way I had the candles lit.  The fresh flowers straight from my garden for her added a nice touch.  I sensed a growing attraction, not just in the physical sense, but on a higher- more sophistacated plane.  I recalled the first time we were alone and realize now that had we had sex that first time, this growing attraction would have died out quickly.
     We did everything possible to cover each other's back for the time being.  I got along great with her children and even spent some time with her husband just to see for myself where he was coming from in life.  Since my children are much older, I knew it would be tough on them and I also knew that they would not totally understand.  However, my wonderful daughter saw the difference in her daddy and told me that she was glad that I was happy.  I guess that was her way of telling me she understood.  Pony and I were not totally clandestine in our now intensely growing relationship.  Our friends knew what was going on and for the most part kept a safe distance.  She is a wonderful " A " personality type who is just more than happy being herself.  I guess when a person is locked into a situation where fences and boundaries are placed around them and they only have so much pasture to move in, sooner or later the Pony is going to jump the fence to find some different grass to feed on.  Such is the case.  She's been given the chance to be her Wild Pony self and enjoy laughter, sweet little talks, the touching of hands, the looks of deep desire and the knowledge that she is appreciated greatly for being a mother and a strong woman.  This is something that some how is lost in her marriage.  Many hours of counseling and many long talks with friends and family does little to solve the problems.  She is on the road that I was forced to travel years ago.  It is a sad state when this process starts, but if two people don't fix the cracks early on, the flood waters will surely do the job.
     I don't consider myself to be a flood, but maybe a little crick that still has the propensity to erode things away.  I know now that I must be so very patient and let life take its course in all of this and I will follow her lead the best I can.  I can't say enough about how we talk, how we laugh, how we make love, and how we just enjoy the simple things in life that busy people fly past.  Those things are what makes her so wonderful to me.  My mother always taught me to be a good man, and take the time to notice the small things in life for they hold great knowledge and greater life lessons.  As a middle-aged man, I know these things are very true .  Age is just a number to us and for that I am very grateful
     We are still having a great time together and we enjoy each other's company.  We never put on airs with each other and we are stripped down to the bare facets of life, spirit, and soul when we are together.  Yeap, she is a married woman whom I have fallen in love with and she with me.  I know I am blind to societal thoughts, however, we all deserve to live life in a manner consistent with whom we are.  Do we deserve the pursuit of happines?  Do we deserve to love each other as our own?  Is it fair to demean the human soul to a point where we are no longer we?  These are tough questions that life has no real answers for.  Am I fair in my thoughts?  Is she fair in her affair?  I do know this for a fact that she likes my cooking and loves to see a guy on hands and knees scrubbing that kitchen floor.  Did I mention that I do laundry also?  I even fold the clothes too.  If those things make the fair affair a little more fair, then a cooking, cleaning, and gardening man she shall have.  After all she deserves it. 
     


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Reviewed by Tom Hyland 10/21/2008
R.A. <--- what's it stand for? Rob - Rich - ?

Terrific heartfelt love story - while I thoroughly understand, and concur with your beliefs about freedom, and fun, and happiness - a word of caution - no one enjoys being a Cuckold, especially in a small town like Frostburg.

The sooner your Wild Pony makes the Separation, the better! You don't want to wake up DEAD one day!

At age 68, that's my 2 cents worth. It is said that "Love is Blind" - sounds quite true here.

Like the lyrics in the old song, the Farmer says to the Boll Weevil - "I Wish you Well!"

Cordially, Tom.
Reviewed by Staci Gansky-Wagner 9/17/2007
ok I enjoyed your story. Playing with fire.
Reviewed by mel dee (Reader) 1/16/2007
true to the soul, you know i understand, but will always be in my heart. do with it as yo will...but careful it too can burn as we both know.



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