A Composer’s Journal Entry Friday October 22, 2004
3 a.m. Ithaca, NY

JF bought me this notebook today - I must have mentioned to her that my other notebook was almost done. A nice surprise, stuck in a paper bag, light mauve covered with white hearts ... I helped her bring in plants today, the big pots.

Looked at my old sketches for the string quintet and will begin working on them tomorrow. The inner excitement and intensity builds with each page. So many ideas again, I can barely write the notes down fast enough - so I assume this new quintet will be good; this quintet is, in some ways, beyond the crossroads I have recently felt. A new voice is somehow arranging itself and emerging, even within the old inner frames and old sketches. One day I will write a truly 12 tone string piece, & revel in the sounds and pictures & sonorities - I can already see & hear them - but not now. This piece, even though based on twelve tone rows - is very tonal. An experiment in tonality for me, even more so than in "Visions".

After I finish scoring "Chansons" this winter, then perhaps I will write this other string quartet or quintet - in my mind, it has a clarity, this other string piece, a piercing clarity and simplicity of form. And so inwardly I look forward to writing it. Interesting, either both came into being together - or inwardly seeing this other atonal piece released, somehow released the ideas & notes for the current quintet. Creativity is as big a Mystery as Life itself ...

Mystery or not, tonight I am very happy & looking forward to tomorrow, when I can scribble more notes for the fast movement. I am too exhausted from my day to do more work tonight. I think instead that I will tackle the Sunday New York Times Crossword, which I haven’t looked at yet.