A Mystic's Journal Entry November 12, 2005 by clairvoyant Laurie Conrad.
Dealing With Loss: The Dark Night of the Soul. A Mysticís Journal Entry November 12, 2005
Saturday, November 12
I now have three new meditators who are facing the Dark Night of the Soul, all in countries far from my home. They are all dealing with deep loss. As I have said before, in these Journals: during the Dark Night, often all that we love is taken from us - it is a test. Who are we, without that which we love, without those material things? We are the soul. That is always the answer we must find during the Dark Night.
One of the young women wrote: "I have resolved not to fall in love again with anyone." I wrote back: "That is a good plan. Do not fall in love with anyone again - but Love all beings."
I advised her to love all beings equally - whether they hurt her or not, whether they loved her or not, whether they met her needs or not. Then, and only then can we manage our way through the Dark Night safe from harm. I told her: "We can only do this if we have first found our own soul and God. Meditate. And pray. Pray very hard and very deeply." No other created being can meet all our needs and desires, or take away all our fears. It is not right to ask this of other beings. We should only ask this of our own luminous being, our own soul - or of God.
When I look back on my own life, the things and people I so wanted, now seem so lacking. We must all trust the soul and God know what they are doing! And not impose our own personal will on what the soul and God know to be best for us. Then I told her that grief is natural when we have been hurt by others or by situations, difficult life events. This is also true when we experience the death of a loved one. And there, we must also trust that the soul and God know best what is right for each of us. But that while we are in that deep grief, we must always remember that we are the soul. Otherwise, we will be consumed by the grief.
She replied that someone had told her that she did not love herself enough. Therefore, she could not love others as the saints and I could. I wrote her back and said that I would never like myself, much less love myself. That I have learned to identify with the soul rather than the personality. My personality will never please me, it is far too imperfect. We all must first contact our own soul, and then learn to view it as our true selves. This can only be done through meditation or prayer, philosophy - and other spiritual practices, such as the ones sprinkled throughout A Mysticís Journal. We ourselves cannot produce this Higher Love from our own hearts. Only God and the soul can give it to us. Then we can share it with others. We first bask in the Love and the Peace of our own soul and then we ask that Godís tremendous Love for us come through us, fill and surround us. When we are truly filled with this heavenly Love and Peace, then it will naturally radiate out towards others.
The first Dark Night is a test, a leap of faith. And can feel very, very Dark.