Take This Job and...
by J. Vincent Martin


If you just hit the lottery and were wondering how to make corporate tee shirters aware of your impending departure, here’s a thought. Why not set yourself up for one of those stupid petty corporate reprimands. You know, like a dress code violation or some other petty infraction. Then you can announce your departure by choosing one of the appropriate replies from the listing below:

Say, did you ever consider getting a real job and maybe doing something
important with your life?

That’s probably what God would say if he had your intelligence and where with
all. Fortunately, he doesn’t and you ain’t God.

I see your point, too bad it’s covered by hair, or if more appropriate... I see your point, too bad it’s not covered by hair.

Did you go to school for that? Or is this the result of an old head injury?

That’s very interesting. What else did they teach you at the Idiot Academy?.

How long have you had this problem? Are you getting any help for it?

Did you come up with that all by yourself? Surely, they’re can’t be two people in the world who are that stupid.

Here’s a quarter. Why don’t you call somebody who gives a damn.

Interesting! Say! Did I ever tell you what a meaningless jerk you are?

And to think that I always defended you with my co workers. Why just the other
day I told them it’s not your fault that you’re an as..ho... . You were just born that way.

That’s nice, do you feel better now? Oh, and by the way, guess who just won the lottery, Fat Head..

...and last, but not least....

Say, if it bothers you that much, maybe we should go outside and duke it out.
What do you say?

So always remember, that no matter how bad it gets, you’re only a lotto ticket
away from setting the record straight.

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