Liberty and Justice for all...
Take This Job and...
by J. Vincent Martin
If you just hit the lottery and were wondering how to make corporate tee shirters aware of your impending departure, hereís a thought. Why not set yourself up for one of those stupid petty corporate reprimands. You know, like a dress code violation or some other petty infraction. Then you can announce your departure by choosing one of the appropriate replies from the listing below:
Say, did you ever consider getting a real job and maybe doing something
important with your life?
Thatís probably what God would say if he had your intelligence and where with
all. Fortunately, he doesnít and you ainít God.
I see your point, too bad itís covered by hair, or if more appropriate... I see your point, too bad itís not covered by hair.
Did you go to school for that? Or is this the result of an old head injury?
Thatís very interesting. What else did they teach you at the Idiot Academy?.
How long have you had this problem? Are you getting any help for it?
Did you come up with that all by yourself? Surely, theyíre canít be two people in the world who are that stupid.
Hereís a quarter. Why donít you call somebody who gives a damn.
Interesting! Say! Did I ever tell you what a meaningless jerk you are?
And to think that I always defended you with my co workers. Why just the other
day I told them itís not your fault that youíre an as..ho... . You were just born that way.
Thatís nice, do you feel better now? Oh, and by the way, guess who just won the lottery, Fat Head..
...and last, but not least....
Say, if it bothers you that much, maybe we should go outside and duke it out.
What do you say?
So always remember, that no matter how bad it gets, youíre only a lotto ticket
away from setting the record straight.