As you can see, our children and grandchildren have racked up quite a bit of debt. Hence, it is our moral obligation to help the little tykes out. What we can do is to start taxing them now. Why wait?.
I know what you’re going to say, “Hey John, they ain’t got any jobs!” Well some do. You’ve heard of newspaper delivery “boys” right? What about those with Lemonade Stands? How about the kids in the north that shovel snow for a few bucks in the winter? What about kids that run errands for tips? What about kids that collect cans or find pennies in the street? As you can see, there’s a whole hidden economy here.
What about kids that don’t have jobs, you ask? Obviously you have never heard of allowances or lunch money. What about those savings bonds relatives give them?
In fact, we don’t even have to wait until they are born. What about all of that money couples collect at their weddings? Some of that eventually ends up going to kids too.
Yes, it’s time to let the kids know government is looking out for them. What better way to teach them that then to tax them.
What’s that Nancy? Yes, put some more vodka on my cereal too.