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Jennifer Butler

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My Humble Opinion 59
by Jennifer Butler   
Not "rated" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Posted: Tuesday, September 05, 2006

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I keep getting this message on my Caller I.D. ---- DonAte clothing. Who's Don?

Alright, I admit it. I know darned well who Don is. He was that guy who attached himself to my uncle's family in the piney woods and lived in the octagonal house across the way. Don was sort of alone in the world, and it was said he hadn't contacted his mom, ahem, in many years.

Don liked alcohol and cats.

Well. Now that we know whence the origins of fashion disaster and diss Aster in our family, we can apply the same concept to all missing skirts and other feminine fashions. Such items are not being produced by the Don's of the world, who apparently don't need females and who apparently don't need to dress or care for females in any mode or fashion.

Therefore, the recycling of clothing begins more and more to be of male origin. Here are your older brother's jeans, dear. He doesn't wear them anymore, and frankly, I don't care if you act like a boy, right? Or do I?

Well, that explains why the women have been wearing the men's clothing.

Yesterday, I took a small load to the Goodwill store which included four dresses and a comforter. The silly old comforter had been impersonating Jesus, so I figured it wanted to go forth into all the world and comfort the comfortless. Besides, my girls had taken the scissors to one corner, and Mom has gotten us a truly lovely new bed set for Christmas this year.

The dresses were four that had I made myself, and I'm really hoping to get better at this as the years progress. It seems to me that no matter what sort of clothing goes into the Goodwill store, something great comes out of my next shopping experience. So, anyone who thinks I'm not being practical in my charity efforts should realize that I am full of selfish motives. If I make a dress and get tired of it or decide it doesn't fit right, I can simply give it to charity and chalk it up to practice. A great plan, in my mind.

Now, as for the word "charity" ...

I have broken down this word into its syllabic components and discovered that there are deeper meanings within its formation, i.e. ~ char-it-y. Why char it, indeed? If it has seen no sin, why put this cloth to the fire for destroying? And if it has seen sin, can it not be washed?

I next went to the store and found three lovely jeweled tops for my little girl that would all look great over a white skirt or white pants, but there was nothing in white. Now, I'm a firm believer in Winter White. I think Winter White is the classiest winter look around. So, without further ado, I purchased some unusually textured white material and some ruffles, and, according to my husband, made the ruffled white skirt in one hour and forty-five minutes.

I said to him, "This is a forty dollar skirt!" He answered, "You make that much?" I said, "Yes, but I don't have that many students."

Well, I won't be giving that one away any time soon, since white can be bleached, and we have another baby girl to enjoy it in later years, that is, for as long as it lasts.

As one female who didn't care if I acted like a boy, I can say without reservation that it's a dead end street. First of all, we aren't thinking about our futures when we're kids, and when our reputations and personalities are being formed in play time activities, such as Orchestra, Church Choir and brunch or the Junior Honor Society gatherings. And since we are entirely unconcerned with our appearances as untrained youths, we do not consider the end result of dressing like boys and playing boy games in large circles of rambunctious youths.

Of course, once we find the household to be a territorial battlefield, we may change our minds about the idea of living a Dutch existence. How can we do the things we do best to our greatest capacity if some male person is intruding and disorganizing our space? And furthermore, how can a woman fill the role of a strong male without doing the absolute worst job of it in comparison to all males who are thus equipped from birth?

Therefore, she who is born female, but who is treated as equal and alike to the male, finds herself the most ill equipped of all her peers and suffers the discouraging struggle of an underdog for her efforts.

But she who pursues the enhancement of her own gender, creates a less offensive path and a more amiable and encouraging example for her female friends to follow. Once she regains her footing in the female world, such a misguided modern woman must take a leadership role by recreating her fashions and works of service to her community.

And when we do get that call, informing us that Don ate the clothing, we should carefully consider redesigning it before we haphazardly ditch all that unsuitable slop onto some poor, unsuspecting victim such as we once were.


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Reviewed by Peter Paton 9/6/2006

Keep up the good work...and keep wearing the pants around here. !

Blessings and Berecah


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