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When Nerds Fall From the Tree of Grace
By Sheri Ables   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Posted: Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Ignoring submission rules is unprofessional. Read about a real experience with an irrate and impatient writer...

What an odd title, you must think. Read on. It makes perfect sense…

If you have read my past articles, you may be familiar with the unnamed author I call “Dear Writer Man.” I bring a new unnamed author to the mix. Also, as I sit here writing, I do so with wonder, awe and a bit of sheer disbelief.

It seems my writing is focused on manners, lately. But, hey, it seems that people have little of these things -manners, that is. This brings us to “Oh, Obnoxious One” –the most recent writer who has managed to release his tensions through the tap of the key and the click of a mouse.

It all started with a query –a bit over stated in his style with bold fonts, caps and other non-traditional uses. Still, there was something in his query that caught my attention. I put his message in the “follow up” file. (This is a good thing.) Apparently, I did not follow up according to his timeline. He queried repeatedly. I finally, requested to see more of what he proposed.

All the while receiving multiple emails from the man, I get a note informing me he is waiting on something “important” and his work will be on its way. Fine. Great. Looking forward to it.

He wanted more, I suppose, as he continued to send several messages each week. None really made a lot of sense and dealt mostly with news updates and menial bits of information. Nothing pertained to what I was waiting to see.

After weeks of this, I gave his query to my assistant with instructions to pass on his work. Whoa! How dare we reject this man! Am I stupid or what? Ha! Read on…

He sends the following note...

PERSONAL ATTN.:

MS. SHERI WILLIAMS, LITERARY AGENT
WILLIAMS LITERARY AGENCY

Dear Sheri,

Well, since early Mar.(The Ides Of March)...and now a week after April Fool's Day, life seems to be full of surprises.

If I did not interpret you incorrectly, I thought from your last correspondence you were interested in seeing more of my life experience literary efforts plus a proposal, so I wrote you a couple days ago and advised I am waiting for the return of some key supportive material. Then I get this rather terse message, diametrically opposed to prior correspondence from you.....as just sent by your assistant!

How does one make any sense out of this turn of 180 degrees?

Your comments may be quite helpful at this time!

Respectfully yours, OBNOXIOUS ONE

Happy Easter! Obnoxious One, Author
oona

P.S.: Presently I am working on a localized feature story with the Assoc. Press. Time will tell!

So, I reply, honestly…

Our decision was not based on your writing content, per se, but instead on the multiple emails. We take this as a sign of a future conflict. When you queried initially and I found interest, that should have been the end until you had materials to send. Instead, we received multiple messages. Unfortunately, this is against our policies. Therefore, this is not a fit.

My best wishes to you, Sheri

Goodness, here comes the herd…

Dear Sheri,

Now I thougth all of the crazies were here in "Zaney"town, USA....but I was wrong. Your contention of mutliple messages is absolutely "absurd". This is totally ridiculous. I do not need to be associated with someone who is a complete nerd!

Sincerlh stated, Obnoxious One’s Initials

I did not reply. Therefore, he sends another note… Dear Sheri,

I do not think the first message got out since the address was misspelled. I wanted to make sure you got this one. What do you mean, it's "our policy" that if you receive multiple messages from someone this means future conflict.? Are you completlely out of your tree?

Enough said, ooi

Still, I do not reply…

Hi Sheri,

Still cannot believe you people for your recent announcement...You must not be too interested in progress or cultivating people of talent and class...No one else can believe this around here today either. Good luck.

O.

No, I still have not replied. There is a handy tool within most email programs that allow users to block unwanted messages. This is now in effect.

I cannot imagine treating an editor the way some writers treat agents. [I am sure they do the same with editors.] Do these people not realize that agents and editors talk? Word will likely get out that a writer is difficult, unprofessional and obnoxious. Who knows!

Maybe my thinking is too blasé for the modern world or maybe it is that I was reared to treat others with respect. When I receive a pass [decline] notice from an editor, whether for my work or a client’s, my response is to thank them for their time. After all, not everything we [agents and editors] receive will be a match to our present needs. In the adult world, we accept it and move on.

A good writer not only has the talent to produce but also the sense to refrain. The best writer is not worth the worst headache. I will reject a writer in a heartbeat if I feel he/she will be a pain. Money can’t buy everything!

I have listed a few tips below. Some will take them to heart, while others will assume they already know everything. Wake up call –we do not know it all. I am learning every day. Best-selling authors learn new things every day. Learning is a good thing. Taking advice from someone who has been there is a wise thing. Ignoring and assuming is a risky thing.

• When querying, allow at least 1-2 weeks before following up.
• When following up, whether by phone, postal or e-mail, be brief and courteous.
• If an agent/editor needs additional time and another agent/editor has not made an offer or expressed serious intent, allow the time.
• Do not send more than one query to the same agent/editor. This will not speed up the process. In fact, it will likely remove you from consideration.
• No reply does not mean a rejection. You can determine the query was/was not received when you follow up.
• Be kind when rejected. Cussing, belittling, threatening replies are risky.
• If patience is not your virtue and rejection is something that makes you angry, consider another profession.

If you’ve tried everything and nothing works, come on over. We’ll climb the proverbial tree of writing and share stories. Careful not to fall out!