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L. G. Figgins

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To All My Unborn Children
By L. G. Figgins   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Thursday, May 05, 2005
Posted: Thursday, May 05, 2005

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Who are these souls I never knew? A short remembrance for Mother's Day...

Over the course of eight years, while my husband and I tried to have children, I had what is called "habitual miscarriages". It was almost as if my body was rejecting embryos as foreign bodies. I can't be certain, but I believe the total to be 6-8 miscarriages. Doctors could give me no reason why I couldn't carry a pregnancy to term. The miscarriages themselves were brutal and the bleeding was copious. My first miscarriage happened overseas where my husband was stationed. Families weren't authorized, so there was no GYN on base. After two solid weeks of heavy bleeding, I was brought to Taichung Airbase. I was seen by a urologist, who examined me and told me I was fine. The next day I passed out cold. My husband rushed me back on base, where I was admitted to the hospital and given four units of blood. My hemadcrit was dangerously low. Another loss of one pint of blood and I would have died. I was catherized and was transported by air to Taipai Naval Hospital. They performed an amiocentesis. This is where they pierce a long needle-like tube from your abdomen into your uterus to obtain fluid to test for pregnancy. Apparently they were too late. I had lost nearly all the 'contents' of my uterus. I still remember holding a male nurse's hand during the procedure. My nails pressed so hard into him that he winced in pain. They don't put you under for this. I was scheduled for a DNC, but thankfully I had a fever and this was not done.
Subsequent miscarriages, allthough brutal, were not as life threatening.
I wonder about these souls that I never knew. I know that they must go back to God. Sometimes I'll feel a flutter like butterfly wings in my ear. I like to think that it's one of my babes whispering to me. There must be a special harbor where they reside. Will I be allowed to 'know' them when I pass over?
The sad fact about miscarriage is that there is no funeral. It is considered a biological episode, like passing a stone. But you greive all the same. When I finally accepted the fact that I would not deliver a child, a miracle happened and my daughter Amber was carried to term. Thankfully, I didn't miscarry again. This Mother's Day, I would like to extend my condolences to the mothers who lost these little souls.
I would also suggest that you do as I have done. Plant a living thing in their honor--a flowering plant or tree that you can see every day, so that they have not passed out of this world unknown.

Reader Reviews for "To All My Unborn Children"

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Reviewed by J. Conrad Guest 7/13/2005
How gratifying, Linda, to read that your story had a happy ending and what a wonderful suggestion to plant a flower or a tree in remembrance of a life that will never be.

On the flip side of the coin, it's odd, about Mother's Day, and Father's Day, too, that Hallmark tends to ignore those of us who have lost our parents. We seem forever destined to celebrate the lives of our loved ones alone, reliving memories and trying to recall the sound of their voices...

Thanks for sharing this... a fine essay.


Reviewed by Sharon Palmer 5/28/2005
God! This made me cry! (If you'd like to, check my page, and you'll see why.) I can empathize. Severely. I cannot bear Mother's Day, for many reasons ...

Reviewed by George Carroll 5/5/2005
God looks over all things from conception to death. Be assured, your miscarried babies are in heaven waiting to greet you when it is your time to be there. They are angels who have received the baptism of desire.
Your suggestion to plant a remembrance is an excellent one.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 5/5/2005
god bless you, linda; beautiful and heartfelt article! happy mother's day to you!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :( >tears <
Reviewed by Betty Torain 5/5/2005
Dearest Linda, I am so touched by your article. However, I celebrate with you the birth of your Beautiful daughter (Amber). I will plant a tree to honor all the unborn children. God bless you. From the mother of the Universe.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/5/2005
So sorry to hear about all your troubles having grateful for what you have thoough....they are precious for sure!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 5/5/2005
well done

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