Lap Cat Wars
edited: Saturday, October 27, 2001
By Rose G rose.moss@LineOne.net
Posted: Saturday, October 27, 2001
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Lap Cat Wars
I enjoy the musical “Camelot”, especially the scene where Guinevere sings a song lamenting that she’s never been fought over. Now, while not wishing to be embroiled in the tragic entanglements of King Arthur’s court, I’m sure most women would find the prospect of being so much in demand rather flattering!
I might not have ever had knights in armour fighting duels over me, but as I’m owned by four cats, nearly every evening, my lap is as fiercly contested as any mediaeval damsel, though instead of swords and lances, the weapons are hissing and claws! The outcome, which involves a mixture of diplomacy and first come, first served, usually results in each cat spending some time on the coveted hot spot!
Ginger usually approaches shyly and apprehensively, looking around to see the other cats aren’t around. He then stands on his two hind legs, placing his front paws on my lap and waiting for me to say “Come on Ginger” before climbing on my lap. He then rubs noses, gives me an Eskimo kiss, and then settles down to give my legs a rather painful massage, which leaves my knees resembling a pincushion! Still having a personal masseur, is usually something only film stars can afford!
By that time, one of the other cats has usually entered the room and is sitting gazing at him balefully, with a Medusa like glance intended to turn him to stone, or at least run away! He ignores his rival and curls up and falls into a seemingly deep sleep, but if should I sneeze of cough, poor Ginger takes fright and flees the room, He never stays longer about a hour before leaving as timidly as he came in.
Queenie then takes advantage of the situation and jumps on to the far side of the settee and walks its full length to reach my lap. In all the years I’ve had her, never once, has she jumped straight on.
She rarely falls asleep but sits sphinx fashion purring loudly and never moving, so that when I get up, I’m usually suffering from painful cramp and hardly able to walk! Unlike Ginger, she considers my lap to be her rightful territory and follows me into the living room at the time she knows I usually settle down for the evening.
Leo also believes my lap belongs to him and him alone .He always springs up reminding me of Tigger in the Pooh Bear stories as I swear that he bounces! It matters to him not at all if Queenie, his mother is already occupying the coveted spot as he just jumps on top of her!
Queenie is naturally not happy at all about this and repels him with a hiss or outstretched claws. Leo then retreats further down the settee, waiting his turn.
Although, I try not to have favourites, Leo is by far the most comfortable cat to have on lap, as he spreads himself out, almost like liquid following the contours of my knees. He falls in a deep sleep, occasionally stretching out to be tickled and purring happily. Like Queenie, he will stay for hours on end and cries when I need to get up, but like his mother he understands at once if I say “Sorry, I need to get up” as they both immediately jump on the floor!
Josephine is unlike the others as she ignored my lap as suitable sleeping place for almost four years and then spent about a month a month in sole possession, growling when the others approached or when I needed to get up. Now she’s lost all interest again, but who knows when she’ll change her mind again?
The strange thing is despite the very different ways of staking their claims, it’s not at all unusual for me to be engrossed in working on my computer with one cat on my knee and then take a break from my work and find a completely different one there!
While I was writing this article, Ginger was asleep on my lap watched the entire time by Queenie, sitting on the floor a few feet away, looking at him as if to say “You’re in my place!”
When I go shopping for clothes, my first thought is,” Is the fabric cat proof?” Then I spend a fortune on ointment to treat the scratches caused by them making themselves comfortable! That’s after I’ve checked my tetanus vaccinations are up to date!
When my friends phone or E-mail, I’m usually asked, “Who’s on your lap at the moment?” and the occupying cat purrs down the phone to prove their presence.
Despite the cramp and the scratches, being in demand from such fiercly independent creatures as cats, is a wonderful pick me up and boost to my ego!
When it’s too hot in the summer for either the cats or myself to be snuggled together on the settee, I feel strangely incomplete as if part of myself is missing. Once you’ve had a cat on your lap, you never want to be without one, despite being a prisoner of their velvet paws, feeling too guilty even to get up for a cup of tea! Queenie is now on my lap, so I’ll have to wait for my drink a while longer!
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|Reviewed by Tony Willacey
|Lovely story. Brings back lots of memories of feline friends.|
|Reviewed by Jean Levack (Reader)
|Great read...as I sit here with a parrot on each shoulder. You make me nostalgic for all the years I shared my life with cats.|
|Reviewed by Bertha
|A wonderful story Rose. Molly likes to relax on my feet. When she was young and I was confined to the bed because of my condition, she would lie on my legs and purr. I can still feel her body giving warmth to my poor legs. Every once in awhile she will get onto my lap but she always comes and lays on my feet. Thanks for the wonderful story.|
|Reviewed by Cheryl Elliot
|Hi, Rose! My Paisley always has to be Velcroed to my lap, even if there is a book or a snack tray there already! I tell her," Paisley, I love you, but I don't want to eat an omelet with a cat in the middle of it." I might as well save my breath!|
|Reviewed by Margie
|Wonderful story. I just have two cats but they love my lap and are jealous as most of the time it is occupied by my remote keyboard.|
|Reviewed by Smokie
|You are a very talented writer Rose. Well done...I love cat stories. Sometimes I manage to have two on my lap..one on the knees and one on the stomach. Once again I was engrossed!|
|Reviewed by EVELYN LOCKERT
|My way of interpreting this article of yours, Rose, is that we are all in need of
love and affection... even from our pets! Lots of love to you!!!
|Reviewed by email@example.com
|oh what a lovely story as I will remember this and ask you know which of these l
lovely lap owner is there you are very good at writing stories
thank you for sharing this and again congratulations
|Reviewed by Dallas Franklin
|Excellent write, Rose! I enjoyed.*~:)The cat I have now, Kipper is the only one who doesn't like being in my lap..but he follows me like a shadow and sleeps with me too. We bought him a basket and he snuggles in it as it's right beside the computer desk..I love my cat too! *S*S*
|Reviewed by Phantom
|Reviewed by Darlene Zagata
|Oh Rose, this is such a delightful article. By the way, Smoky is on my lap right now.|
|Reviewed by Martha Dillon
|It's probably a good thing they take turns, as it takes a rather large person to hold two cats on one lap... I'm going for a cup of coffee now --- can I bring you a cup of tea while I'm up?|