Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Doug Boren, iIsabella Koldras, iGracie McKeever, iSky Purington, iG M (Jerry) Roberts, iPaul Williams, iA. Colin Wright, i

  Home > Arts/Entertainment > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ken L Kupstis

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Books
· Articles
· Poetry
· News
· Stories
· Messages
· 95 Titles
· 184 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Before 2003

Ken L Kupstis, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Celebrities ripe for roasting
by Ken L Kupstis   

Last edited: Wednesday, November 06, 2002
Posted: Wednesday, November 06, 2002

  Print   Save    Follow    Share 

Recent articles by
Ken L Kupstis

• From Hoochie To Holy
• A Stay Of Execution
• A review of Marc Sanchez' SUNSET WITH NO TRAFFIC
• The Hotties Of Horror: A Mass Interview
• Get Your FREAK On
• ROCK To Get RIPPED By (The Metal Workout)
• Traveler's Advisory to Voodoo Highway
           >> View all

Not 'roasting' as per the Friar's Club, but ROASTED ON A FLAMING SPIT...but since that's against the law, we'll stick with the "Friar's Club" plan.

First of all, as an American, I do not fault anyone for trying to make a decent living by any means not involving crime. Secondly, as a Christian, if any of these "Celebrities" were hanging off a cliff, I WOULD pull them to safety, I'd just wash my hand thoroughly afterwards.

Now then...
ANNA NICOLE SMITH richly deserves an apple stuffed in her mouth; it'll block any more unnecessary carbohydrates entering her shoggoth-like body, and keep her from talking. This creature has its own show now on E, and for WHAT exactly? Abandoning her dying, crippled husband? Spending millions she never lifted a finger to earn? She can barely form complete sentences and her Playmate looks are long gone, so why she's newsworthy is anyone's guess. At her current weight though it looks like she'll feed a family of 5.

MONICA LEWINSKY, a wonderful role model for today's girls: BLOW THE PRESIDENT AND YOU TOO CAN GET A BOOK DEAL!!! (And a modeling contract, and a line of purses, etc.!) Hell, she SHOULD get a Treason charge for needlessly disrupting the government. Wisely, she's decided to avoid the spotlight...which is good, because she'd go great with giblets, too.

MARILYN MANSON, the 'antichrist superstar'...funny, one would think superstars of any stripe wouldn't resemble anorexic transvestites. It's ugly, it can't sing, it's ruined Rose McGowan for every real man, it may or may not be a satanist, it's ripping off Alice Cooper, it sells a lot of t-shirts, wow. I bet Satan's got the A-1 sauce ready for this little helper...

EMINEM proves that white people CAN sell millions of rap records, even if they sound like Daffy Duck getting an enema, as long as they cram sleaze and controversy into every 'rhyme'. Talks very tough for a 110-lb whimp. Who wants white meat?

ANDY DICK: What's in a name? Reality. This cretin tries to be funny but just ends up being annoying.

KELLY & JACK OSBOURNE: Their parents have an excuse (decades of alcoholism and drug abuse)...but they
don't. This team-act of adolescent angst proves that you can be rich, (needlessly) famous and STILL ugly and obnoxious. Jack: take $5 out of your $10,000 allowance and buy some CLEARASIL. Kelly, as long as you're giving out advice, why not lose some WEIGHT? No wonder Ozzy's insane.

JACKASS: Not necessarily Johnny Knoxville but anyone on its 'show', or watches it. The true crime is that MTV knows DAMN WELL that moronic kids everywhere are going to imitate the stunts despite any 'warnings' not to, they just laugh and thrive on the publicity.

Hopefully, the lack of any TALENT concerned, as well as overexposure, will shove this freak-show off the national stage before another generation is sickened and/or hypnotized into thinking this is the way to get the meantime, I'll get the charcoal briquets ready!

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Popular Arts/Entertainment Articles
  1. The Time Machine's George Pal and Me
  2. Elvis Presley's First & Last Watched Movie
  3. Tony Curtis' Most Romantic Scene Ever
  4. Sinatra, Mitchum, Marvin, & Crawford's Bra
  5. Directing Kevin McCarthy in 'Rock Star Ris
  6. Manglehorn: Film Review/Poem
  7. Bill Medley Regrets Breaking James Bond Li
  8. Woody Strode's Body on Display at Disneyla
  9. Danny Collins: Film Review/Poem
  10. Clark Gable Fans Must Read This

The Great First Impression Book Proposal: by Carolyn HowardJohnson

Carolyn Howard-Johnson continues to help authors, FRUGALLY. This time with Everything You Need To Know To Sell Your Book in 20 Minutes or Less!..  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Symphony in Hands major - photos - by Albert Russo

Live hands, hands sculpted, woven or painted, from antiquity to our days, express the whole gamut of human emotions. Les mains sont le miroir de l'βme...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.