GOD - Then and Now
edited: Tuesday, October 17, 2006
By Jay W Driskell
Not "rated" by the Author.
Posted: Thursday, August 07, 2003
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The things I learned as a child were wrong! Wrong!! WRONG!!! This knowledge served me poorly. This was child abuse
I was seven years of age. I have grown up in a lot of ways. One of these ways is the way I now understand GOD and how He relates to me.
I was age seven and understood things in an innocent seven year old way. I believed what my elders told me. As adults, they should have listened to what it was that they were teaching me when I had no knowledge of anything else.
All of us were taught that God was evil. Oh, that was not what was said, but it was still evil just the same. I was taught that God could not ever be pleased with me for I was a perpetual sinner no matter how good I tried to be.
I was always one of the evil ones. This is what I was taught. I could do no good for God considered me to be a worthless worm, a vile wretch, or worse.
And God was always mad at all of us with unending eternal anger condemning us all to Hell for little of no reason.
There were rules that were designed to please (or appease) an angry, judgmental, vengeful, wrathful God who would as soon send everybody to Hell as not. It was as if He delighted in sending people to hell.
Hell is such an awful place with an overpowering presence in every church service we went to. I was afraid of going to church. I was in terror of God, and of His Hell.
We learned more about Hell than we did of Heaven. In fact, Heaven was almost never ever talked about - but Hell sure was.
God certainly did enjoy punishing sinners. There was no escape from the wrath of an ‘ever-loving’ and ‘just’ God. His love for us sinners was to send us to Hell where He would laugh with glee over our eternal suffering.
We could plead and beg for God’s forgiveness and some were able to make God change His mind at their request, but this could not apply to me for I was too young to be anything other than a damned, wretched sinner.
And of course, there was the constant bribe that we would pay and God would relent and let a few into Heaven, - but not our family for we were among the poor who could not expect such mercy. We were doomed and we knew it.
So was I, and I knew it.
I grew up. Years went by. I left “That Church”.
My siblings also left “That Church”. We went our different ways, each reacting to the awfulness of religion, each in a different way, from Atheist to a moderate and gentle type of religion.
I no longer consider myself to be religious, but have a knowledge of religion, a lot of which came from my ‘evil’ younger years. I now consider myself to be spiritual, not religious. I have a great interest in GOD.
Those early years were not good, but I did learn a lot about religion. I have since learned about GOD. My more recent knowledge has brought me into a working relation with GOD, and He is definitely not evil.
I have discovered that GOD enjoys us when we are enjoying ourselves. GOD’s pleasure comes through us.
I have discovered that pleasure is not wrong, and that money, nice cars, comfortable living can all be an acceptable way of life. This also includes responsibility for our acts and deeds.
I have discovered that God does not sit on a monstrous, white throne in constant hateful judgment, but is an integral part of me and gives me freedom with a gentle guidance.
I have discovered that GOD lives His life through me, and through you as well.
I have discovered the three “omni’s” and their meanings -
Omnipresence - all-presence
Omnipotent - all-potent or powerful
Omniscience - all-science or all-knowledge
. . . And also, all-wise.
I have discovered that GOD is limitless Love and that the Love we give others is God loving through us.
There is an enormous gap between the evil God of my youth and the pure Love that is GOD that I now know.
I have discovered GOD in full reality.