It is a Spider time right now. I see real spiders everywhere, all of a sudden. On every floor of our house and in every room that I go into. Spider wants attention and I finally get the message.
I don't have Spider in my chart, at least I don't think so but the more I work with the spirit world the more I realize that they don't really have rules. They can work with me whenever they want to and I am free to work with them, any of them, anytime, anywhere. There are no rules. The souls don't live in the patterns that we in the earth realm need.
I think I have spent most of this life and possibly many others trying to bring that seeming chaos, the freedom of the soul worlds into life on earth and maybe that is impossible. We come here to experience patterns, order, predictability, the qualities of the solid form, all of which implies the need for structure and rules.
So, Spider is here with me now, making efforts to help me understand something about what's going on. I have no problems admitting my current confusion about certain aspects of a couple of different life situations. Work and finances being something massive in my current life. Absolutely massive. I have a tremendous chasm to cross from me to current social standards when it comes to really understanding the concepts of money, economy and finance.
I am not lazy, I am working almost constantly. I look after a bunch of animals. I feed them, house them, attend to their needs on every level and protect them. I provide psychic readings for people along with intuitive spiritual advice. Besides that, I do a lot of psychic and spiritual work that I won't discuss here. I actually rarely get paid for anything I do because I don't really know how. I forget to get paid. I do things without thinking of payment. Maybe I get used to that because I work with animals and spiritual beings so much of the time I forget that payment in terms of money is part of the interaction. However, I know I need to change that when working with humans. Humans use money and I cannot function properly here without getting involved in that process. What used to be free on this planet just isn't anymore. I know I need to get with the program since I am not that fond of poverty. Some people say they find peace in poverty, simplicity and the freedom from possessions but I cannot. All the animals that I have in my care simply cannot be healthy within financial poverty.
This is not to say that I am not blessed by great fortune.
I know that I am.
I know that I am.
No that wasn't an error, I said it twice to mark the point I am making here. I am blessed with fantastic fortune in this life and there is no denying that, just none of these grand blessings are financial. It has come to a point of confusion for me and while I do take responsibility for this confusion as it is me that will have to figure this out, learn how to ask for payment from the humans that I give my services to and make others more accountable to what they ask of me, I can say it is one of the biggest blocks of my life.
So, I am currently at this place again, in my life that I am working hard providing excellent services to other humans, getting so caught up in the passion that I have for the work that I forget to stop and say “Hey, I am supposed to be getting paid money for this.” but also putting faith in the idea that my honest generosity will result in people wanting to give back in more than just profuse compliments and testimonials but in actual money. The amount of work that I do and the money I receive is not equal and I realize that it would be better for me to stop the giving as now there are many people that have gotten very used to the idea that I will just always be there, never requiring anything in return for the long hours and efforts I put into the work I do for them. Or that throwing me a few bucks as a gesture of payment is good enough for me, after all, I'm a spiritual person, I do spiritual work.
And then came Spider. Spider, Spider, Spider. I wasn't really expecting you. But you are so patient with me. You just wait and wait and wait for me to pay you some attention. I am glad to pay you attention Spider.
So, I go to some books and other research to see how other people have interpreted their own Spider interactions, to see how others have perceived their Spider friend's presence.
I know that this spiritual Spider is not one of my personal animal spirit guides. I don't really know why I know this since Spider Spirit has always been a presence in my life. I have always liked Spiders in earth life. I find them amazing. And I do have a lot of dreams with spiders in them, none of which are creepy or frightening. There are many signs pointing to the idea that this Spider Soul is one of my guides but with deep meditation I just know that he/she/it/they are not. This fact opens my inner eye to the point that many spiritual guides are free agents. They do not need contracts with life charts or formal soul agreements to have the ability to be of incredible spiritual value. The spiritual agreements that we make are of great value and should not be discounted. I honor my spiritual contracts and agreements to the highest degree that I can but still, it is nice to know that Spider is still around and is still someone I can hang out with every once in awhile.
So I read other people's experiences with Spider as a spiritual presence and a few things jump out at me.
Stephan Farmer talks about Spider showing up to help us activate our deeper wisdom and assimilate it so that it is part of our daily lives.
He also says that Spider can be present to alert you to a trap or ruse that you may be tempted to get involved with. (That one is something I am actually facing in my life now but after the fact. Live and learn, right?).
Farmer also talks about calling on Spider when we feel trapped and don't see a way out. Also, when we've had some negative experiences and want to integrate the teachings and learn from them as quickly as possible. Yup – as quickly as possible, please.
And while those statements are something I can see Spider is communicating to me, the ones that Farmer talks about that stand out the most are that Spider may be telling me that it knows I am not happy with the way certain things are in my life right now and I want to make some significant changes but that I feel stifled by my fears and beliefs in my limitations. BINGO!
Also, that I feel completely out of balance and I really want my power back on every level. It is natural for me to feel balanced and when I engage in something that throws me off my path, it is excruciating for me.
Well, thank you Stephan Farmer for bringing up those points about Spirit Spider's messages.
I check in with another book I have written by David Carson and Jamie Sams and their Spiders have spoken to them about their need to write and create. Be creative. Also that Spider is the master of patterns.
Funny, wasn't I just talking about patterns?
Next, I look at Ted Andrews Animal Wise Tarot and see that he has experienced Spider energies as the High Priestess in the deck. I must say there is a lot there I can work with in this situation.
But having read all of that I have to face the fact that I have a personal relationship to a particular Spirit Spider and the only way that I am going to benefit from this encounter is through personal connection and contact. Meditation, plain and simple. When I'm working with beings like this I usually call it journeying.
So I go in and there is the big white Spider. She is huge. The only reason I say she is because of the hugeness, however I have no other indication of that 'sheness' and honestly, in this case it really doesn't matter at all. This Spider is huge. For some people this vision would be horrifying but for me it is not. Big White Spider is sitting on my lap and I am completely covered in web. Oddly enough this is comforting for me as the web is keeping me warm and protected. She has been protecting me but it's time for her to go and she tells me that I must remove the web myself and get on with things.
I've got to tell you that it isn't really what I want to hear because right now, I feel tired, I have a terrible gut ache and I feel like something has just attacked and drained me and all I can really do is lay here until I feel better. And along came Spider and said, “Brush off the cobwebs and get the 'frig' up.”
Two days later . . .
I did write the above two days ago, Feb 13 2010 and today is Feb 15 2010. I did get the frig up but not all the cobwebs are gone. Maybe I've really just become tolerant of a certain amount of cobwebs being present because, in some ways, they absorb some of the external negativity that I face in my work. I just let the cobwebs trail along with me and I get a sense that that needs to change.
Cobwebs are an illusionary form of protection. So Spider came along to tell me to ask a higher source for real protection. I do this daily because I know I have a lot to learn about real protection. The kind of protection that comes directly from God and my Divine Team, not from someone's else's opinion or a religion or some form of New Age theory. I don't mock any of those things but no one here can protect me in the ways that I need. I do stay open to the spiritual experiences of others. I love it when people share their experiences, their strength and courage and their compassion. And as I listen, I get that I must experience my own relationship with the Source and my own Divine team.
So, Spider is also reminding me that while I am part of this earth realm collective right now, I am also an individual. She tells me that the cobwebs are the dogmas and superstitions that I have learned about over the last few years. The cobwebs are obstructing my true sight and taking clarity out of my daily life experience, so they are not really protecting me at all. Spider says these are not her webs, but ghosts of webs made by others, created but no longer useful to me or anyone. These cobwebs should be left behind, shrugged off and abandoned. She can help me with this because webs, old or new, don't stick to her. Spider never gets caught in webs.
I ask Spider to help me and she does . . .
I certainly don't understand everything about this etheric encounter however I do trust Spider. Like I said before, there is no Spider in my life chart but the Spider Clan makes itself available to me all the time. What generosity.
There is another aspect of Spider that I seem to resist and that is the part about her messages that I should be writing, creating and writing. I do resist that. I know why I resist it but I'm not going to explain that here. For now all I can do is allow Spider to help me with removing the cobwebs so that I may enjoy more personal clarity and experience my own authenticity in this life. Spider is capable of so much more but I am not, not right now anyway.
I am a Shaman, a mystic in this world. Not the Hollywood kind or the marketable New Ager but the kind that lives just outside and on the fringes of the normal human world. I am sensitive and at times, overly vulnerable and I must regain my composure and my confidence. Spider has come to help me in that amazing way that only those of the Spider Clan can.
I feel sorry for those that are afraid of spiders, they are really missing out on a great deal of wisdom and comfort.
Thank you Spider.