Ah those subtleties of life which continuously elude us. Like why when it says “new: easy to open” must we always reach for our tool box in order to mangle the closure on this new and improved item? Why does “easy to comprehend” directions mean we will inevitably call upon our six year old child for aid? Not to be forgotten is the grand unanswered: why can we never seem to make our girlfriends or wives happy?

The first two I can not help you with, they must always remain among the great quandaries during our earthly existence; however, the response to number three may not be so difficult to uncover. In fact the secret to women may be found in the simple act of smoking a cigar. Now before you go getting all Clinton/Lewinsky on me, allow me to explain myself.

To all those aficionados of fine smokes, smoking a cigar can be a fantastic experience not done to merely settle some great nicotine convulsion but instead done to enrapture ourselves amid a myriad of smoke and memories. From the choosing of a well made cigar right until the very last draw is taken, great care is given to achieve the highest level of pleasure which can be derived from the event. The cigar is taken in with all the senses counting taste and smell as well as feel, sight and even sound as you listen to the crackle of the paper as it burns. The cigar smoker is a man who has mastered or is striving to master patience and fulfillment out of life, evident as he settles down with a first-rate smoke, a strong drink and immense contemplation. So how does this apply to women? I thought you would never ask.

As with the cigar much care has to be given from the moment we begin the process until the very end in order to obtain the maximum pleasure from the experience. You see we must certainly choose the right woman, the one who has the best chance of bringing us lasting fulfillment given our particular tastes. This is only the beginning though, as it is now time to derive the pleasure from our woman.

We must use all our senses, as with the cigar, for not only is the woman to be admired for her beauty but for her beautiful scent with hints of vanilla or of floral, the silken feel of her skin, the words which come from her mouth, even the taste of her lips on ours. It is only when we appreciate all aspects of which she has to offer, that we will truly take pleasure in her.

Next, when smoking a cigar a person does not go in expecting for a hint of chocolate or a touch of nutmeg. How could we presume flavors which may or may not be there? Instead we go in with a clean palate and simply try to decipher what magical notes our smoke has to offer. The same is true of a woman; she has a great deal to offer but in our arrogance if we go in with the belief that we know what a woman has to offer then we have done ourselves a disservice. No, we must go in clean not expecting what may or may not be there or assuming from past relationships. Each time a man smokes a cigar, even one from the same line as previous cigars he has partaken, it will have differences from the previous. We must realize that we limit a woman when we place our own expectations upon her, for in her is the ability to be more than we ever dreamed possible. Our attempt must not be to please her as we could never truly do that on our own but to focus ourselves upon her and enjoy the unique person she is; ultimately to savor her as a wondrous and astounding experience like none other.

As a man smokes a cigar, we must be careful in all we do. Cautious in cutting it so as not to have it unravel, taking care as we light it so that we do not to ignite it so fast as to leave soot upon it. We are never puffing too quickly as to cause it to overheat and burn irregularly, not too slowly that it extinguishes prematurely, always paying close attention to the ash in order to judge the quality of our cigar. From the choosing of the cigar to the last puff we are constantly attempting to derive maximum pleasure not by telling the smoke where to take us but by allowing it to transport us to a place we could not achieve alone. So a woman must be tended to with care and gentleness, always striving to be aware of her, looking to her every move, her every word in an attempt to encourage her to flourish in all she is and all she can possibly be.

You see the secrets of pleasing a woman are not found in us but in her, in allowing her to attain a level of pleasure that we ourselves could not take her to but must simply cultivate from within her. As with a great cigar the pleasure in smoking is not in complete knowledge of all that goes into manufacturing the smoke but in the experience of smoking the cigar. Perhaps the same holds true for a woman as we are not to understand her but merely to take pleasure in her. The admiration and bliss we show her for the distinctive journey she has given us, not to mention our encouragement in order to aid her realization of all she is capable of being is where she will attain her greatest joy from her relationship with us. As we are of women and from women, we will never fully understand women; therefore, it is not our duty to please a woman. Instead we must simply allow her to unfold like the rare flower she is and reveal to us all the beauty and joy she has to offer.



© Copyright 2006 by T. James Musler