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James Musler

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Addicted to Shopping
by James Musler   
Not "rated" by the Author.
Last edited: Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Posted: Tuesday, September 05, 2006

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Dealing with our ladies shopping habits: an excerpt from How to Succeed With the Rat Pack Lifestyle

Dean and Shirley McClain

Allow me to explain my opinion on shopping. Contrary to many men, I do not despise it. I will do it and do it gladly; however, the manner in which I do it varies greatly from a lady’s version. I realize what I need, I walk around the store once and if I love something that I see then I get it (I learned long ago not to say no to the impulse because I will only return later to purchase it making for an extra trip). If I see nothing I like, I move on to the next store. I know my size, I like an item, I purchase it and go home; it is that simple.

This is far from the religious connotations many women place upon the cherished act of shopping. In this sanctimonious act a lady will spend hours at each store searching for something she needs or even something she does not. Then a great deal of time is spent in the dressing room praying to the posterior fairies in a great hope that the outfit will accent her derriere in such a manner as to not “make my butt look big”. Next, more time must be spent finding additional items in order to build a whole new wardrobe around the one piece she has finally decided to purchase. After that she heads to the counter to purchase the item (s) she has chosen and it is time to pray again. This time her prayer is a passionate one that her credit card will not be maxed out. In case you think it is over, think again. Finally it is on to the next store to begin the process all over again. This is a very time consuming religion. It will not wait for next Sunday, only the next possible opportunity to begin the sacraments again.

This is obviously not a religion most men choose to accept, so we hurry our women along, often finding frustration in her desire to assert her beliefs on us. Dean, however, had the right idea; at least in the movie “All in a Night’s Work” with Shirley McClain. When his character, looking for an afternoon of romantic interlude, asks Shirley’s character what she wants to do with the afternoon, her response is disheartening to say the least: “Shopping”, she replies. Although visibly disappointed, he offers the services of his car and driver to escort Ms. McClain’s character about; a perfect move.

You might not be able to simply give her the services of your limo and chauffer but you can tell her to have a great time while you stop off at the deli for a coke. Even if you must go along, this is a time to impress. Allow her to take her time, enjoy herself and make the most of the day. Bear in mind that changing someone’s religion, whether it is Christian, Muslim or Shopping can be a tricky proposition at best.

© Copyright 2006 by T. James Musler

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