By engaging in life as a Creator instead of experiencing life as a Victim, a whole new set of alternative roles emerge that have broad implications for living more effectively and with much greater fulfillment.
There is a vital distinction between victimization, as in a particular situation, and Victimhood, as a way of being and self-identity. It is the latter that we now have the capacity to change, thanks to The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic).
Since the beginning of time, the default orientation of humanity has been that of the Victim. Living in an often hostile and dangerous world, we human beings have honed the fight, flight, or freeze reaction to our life experience. While surviving is an accomplishment that deserves to be honored, most of humanity now lives at a level of comfort where survival is no longer a question. However, surviving is not thriving ─ spiritually, mentally or emotionally. And surviving is not creating. There must be a better way – and now there is!
Transactional Analysis pioneer and psychiatrist Stephen Karpman, MD, has observed that most human dynamics involve three roles – that of Victim; Persecutor (or Perpetrator); and Rescuer – which result in what he described as the “Drama Triangle.”
The Victim, which is the central figure in the drama, sees life as happening to them and believes they are powerless in the face of the onslaught of the problems they encounter. In order to be a Victim, however, one must have a Persecutor. The Persecutor is very often a person, but it can also be a condition (maybe an illness) or a circumstance (perhaps a natural disaster). When a Victim encounters a Persecutor, they then look around for a Rescuerto save them or, at least, to alleviate their suffering. Here, again, the Rescuer may be a person, but it can also be various forms of escapism and/or addiction such as gambling, alcohol, video games, even television.
There is a subtle and powerful seduction in being a powerless Victim. Besides being a great way to elicit pity and assistance from others, the role of Victim reinforces the belief that they are not responsible (i.e. unable to respond) toward what is going on in their lives. The Victim becomes the star of their own drama. This position lets the victim avoid responsibility for their life since, as far as they are concerned, they are not the cause of such occurrences and, therefore, it’s not their fault! But the real question is not “whose fault is it?” The real question is, “What do you want?” and “Who do you want to be?” given the situation.
Make no mistake, there are victims in the world – stuff happens! Man’s inhumanity to man is infamous. My friends who make (or made) their homes in New Orleans certainly have suffered at the hurricane hands of Katrina. There is a vital distinction, however, between victimization and Victimhood. Victimization is a particular situation in which another person, a condition, or a circumstance impacts one’s life in an unwanted, unwelcome and/or harmful way. Victimhood, on the other hand, is a way of being and self-identity. This is where The Power of TED* (The Empowerment Dynamic) turns our assumptions about “the way it is” upside down.
The Power of TED* offers a new Orientation that is the antidote to the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). At the heart of TED* is the assertion that we have the capacity to choose a Creator Orientation toward life. By engaging in life as a Creator instead of experiencing life as a Victim, a whole new set of alternative roles emerge that have broad implications for living more effectively and with much greater fulfillment.
The Creator is the central role in The Empowerment Dynamic. A Creator claims and taps into his or her personal power in order to choose a response to their life circumstances. This role is result- and goal-oriented, focused on desired outcomes. Creators work consciously and deliberately to deal with their current reality while moving toward the life they intend to create. Along the way, a Creator invariably meets up with the Challenger, which is the antidote to the role of Persecutor. Creators welcome Challengers. Creators are able to transform their perspective toward difficulties with people, conditions and/or circumstances into challenges to be met, understood, and (whenever possible) overcome. The Challenger calls forth a Creator’s will to create, often spurring him or her to learn new skills, make difficult decisions, and do whatever is necessary to achieve a dream or desire.
In order to more effectively move toward their dreams and desires, a Creator often seeks out a Coach, which is the antidote to the role of the Rescuer. The Coach – which may be a professional or may be a trusted friend or family member – supports, assists, and facilitates a Creator in clarifying and manifesting the Creator’s desired outcomes. Coaches help Creators perceive new possibilities; coaches dare them to dream! Thus, a Coach acknowledges and helps leverage the power and capabilities of a Creator and holds them accountable for taking the steps necessary to move forward.
Making the shift from Victim to Creator can happen in an instant or evolve over many years. The process is achieved one step at a time, each and every day. It requires reviewing and previewing our actions to determine whether we are acting from the orientation of Creator or Victim. This conscious shift requires daily attention and is not necessarily easy. It is, however, a shift worth making.
TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) points the way toward making the shift happen makes possible a life of purpose, power, and compassion. The result is a profoundly higher quality of life and more fulfilling relationships. This remarkable transformation is achieved through a simple series of Baby Steps – small but important shifts toward recreating your self-view.
To illustrate, imagine going into the doctor for your annual physical and hearing life altering news. Perhaps you are diagnosed with high blood pressure or cholesterol, maybe it’s diabetes, or even the news that you have a life-threatening disease. How you respond to this Challenger will depend upon whether you see yourself as a Creator or a Victim. A Victim will tend to wallow in self-pity and despair. They may react in ways that range from lashing out in anger to numbing out through alcohol or other substances to denying the reality of the news they have received. A Creator, on the other hand, while certainly unsettled by the news, would set about envisioning an outcome that responds to the reality they face and then working daily to move toward their goal. Perhaps they begin an exercise program, take prescribed medication, seek complementary treatment methods, and/or start yoga and meditation classes. The circumstance or Challenger – in this case poor health – does not, however, define who they are. Whether Victim or Creator, it is our everyday responses and choices that ultimately determine which orientation and accompanying set of roles and relationships will most influence our quality of life.
The Drama Triangle is a familiar scenario that everyone has experienced. Escape from this triangle has often seemed impossible. By applying the principles and practices of The Power of TED*, you can now, indeed, escape the drama. You have the capacity to be a Creator of your own life. The time has come to create your escape. Begin today by taking Baby Steps toward a new and better life by cultivating the Creator within you!