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Brother Anonymous

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Member Since: Dec, 2005

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I Am Not the Person I Was a Year Ago
by Brother Anonymous   
Not "rated" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Posted: Thursday, November 16, 2006

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Telling more and more of the truth is setting me free.

Having completed my seventh Enlightenment Intensive (EI) this year last weekend (my ninth all told, given that I took two in 1976), I notice that I feel much cleaner than I did when I began this current round. When I breathe in, I feel no drag, resistance, or tightness. When I imagine the energy going up or down my spine, I hit no places of density. I am aware of no issues lingering, except the ones I continue to create through my own habits or patterns (what Buddhists and Hindus call vasanas).

 

The progressive telling of the truth is progressively setting me free. At each of the last three EIs I have attended, I have told myself that I am free of personal issues. And yet at each of the three, I have hit residual but profound issues.

 

At one recent EI, I shouted so much and so long that my chest seemed to expand by a couple of inches. In the dyad immediately following that one, I cried so much I felt practically catatonic when the crying stopped.


At this last one, I saw that violence in my family, which I observed when I was around eight years old, is the seed that had me ultimately become a refugee adjudicator. I saw the line of descent clearly.


 

At this one, too, the spiritual energy, which in previous EIs had stopped near the crown chakra, completed the spiritual circuit. When it did, I realized that I was always already enlightened. However, though the energy climbed the entire circuit and though I had this epiphany, still the fireworks of enlightenment did not occur.

 

There went my grand theories about enlightenment automatically occurring when the energy reached the crown chakra.  There went my beliefs that an epiphany would be enough to spark the whole process off. My views on the situation are not worth a pinch of salt. I can only guess that the whole process is in God’s Hands.

 

Nonetheless, the thorough cleansing that each EI brings is completely satisfying for me. Each one is a dip in the Ganges and I am not the person I was even a year ago.

 

Today is also my last official day at work. While I have a few decisions left to write, I have officially passed my mandate and will never sit again on a refugee claim. I will never have the chance to utter the words which have brought me so much pleasure: “I extend to you Canada’s protection.”

 

I recently heard that Stephen Lewis quit his post as the U.N. official responsible for addressing AIDS in Africa. Now he is speaking out about the plight of women in Africa. 

 

Americans may not be as familiar with Stephen as Canadians are. His father was a leading Canadian politician years ago. Stephen himself is doing great work for the international community.

 

But I fancy I know exactly the impulse that Stephen is operating under. I too have quit my post as a Canadian official to speak out on what men are doing to women in this world. I am glad to hear that Stephen has quit his and is telling it like it is.

 

I am rolling up my shirtsleeves now, adding articles to my website on “The Global Persecution of Women.”  If the truth told at an EI will set me free personally, then the truth told about our global situation will set me free socially.

 

I am tired of living a lie. I am tired of countenancing the exploitation of children and the suppression of women.  Had I not published anonymously these past three years, I could not have spoken out at all and stayed in my government position. That would mean that I would have been deprived of listening to all the horrible, shocking stories that people have shared with me. I listened; I learned. And now I want to speak.

 
 
 
 
 

Web Site: The Essays of Brother Anonymous



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