I’ve come to the conclusion after much pondering, that there is no such thing as an amicable seperation. Perhaps there are those rare individuals who shake hands and agree that life separate would be better than life together, who smile over coffee and congratulate each other on weight loss. Who join together at recitals and graduations for the ‘sakes of the kids’. But I think those situations are rare and I think they are a lie, and perhaps even dangerous to the process of getting on with life for the young child.
Children know much more than we give them credit for. Basic instinct indicates a tepid home atmosphere, and where there is loathing, either for one self or for ones mate, where there is outright contempt, it floats in the air and all residents breathe the stench. This is fact. Although so many refuse to acknowledge this truism and for reasons they hold to be valid remain in the putrid air infecting the well being of offspring in the misguided belief that they are protecting them from hurt from anguish, when in fact they are doing the opposite by showing and displaying what life truly was not meant to be, a desperate attempt at happiness, a stab in the dark, again and again for self worth and appreciation. Sad is the lot of an unhappy home and if those that toil in its desperateness could just grasp the fact that all they had hoped for could be achieved merely by first making the all too frightening decision to leave and then taking that first step in that direction. But it takes more than that first step, much more. In all the steps that follow, in all the wondering, there will come a peace to mind body and soul, and not necessarily in that order, that your steps are guided that your path though unclear is true . That yes, happiness in oneself and ones world can be achieved, though the price may seem steep, and perhaps even too costly for some. For it is a fact that two contributions to finances tally more than one, and it is a fact that striking out on ones own can cause drastic changes to an accustomed mode of living. It must be thought through carefully, weighed meticulously, for the freedom to live in happiness often opens the door in many respects to a frugal lifestyle. Herein lies the quandary of the day.
I have seen many a man wince at the word Alimony, and again even good men, proud fathers, at the words Child Support. The former a sentence, a punishment, the latter not perhaps taken as severely but never-the-less winceable no doubt. And women, led on by attorneys, making names of themselves for the sake of the plight of the woeful woman and child, choose to accept this mad-money. Mad I say because I have seen an angry ex-husband as he writes out that check, the anger flashing as he licks the envelope, the gall of anger from the bowels of his hatred sealing the envelope as he pushes it through the mail slot sending his hatred with his sentence. Who wants it? Not I.
I would sooner work three jobs to support myself and my children than open the rank smell of a dollar given to me in hate. One that would most certainly taint the new life I had hoped would set me free, one that as a child I had dreamed waited for me. Why then would I want the cloud of hate lingering five years or so? Am I so afraid that my needs and those of my children would not be met? Am I so far removed that I am unable to grasp that the Father of all creation could not be capable of providing room and board? It would indeed be a sad state of affairs where that true , and an unsavory show of faith to say the least.
Mad-money, I’ll pass. I know there are those shaking heads as they read, there are those in the mindset that ‘but dear you worked for what’s yours, they are after all his kids, he did treat you such and such, my dear Everyone does it, have you gone mad, stark raving mad?’ and I say nay. I have neither gone mad nor do I not recognize that I have indeed earned a portion of shared properties, but I do say this in complete conviction. I would no sooner have the curse of Mad-Money upon my new household as go back to the tragic sadness that was before. I for one will trust in God to manifest His riches daily, to be blessed with His gratitude for the faith I display in simply saying nay to the curse of Mad-Money.