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Ian R Thorpe

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Books
· Age Of Certainty

· Age Of Certainty

· Blöd Ties

· The Best Of Boggart Blog (vol 1)

· Dimensions of Mystery

· A Two Faced Poet

· Millennium Dawn (anthology)

· A Stroke of Luck


Short Stories
· Bloodaxe Corner

· The Kiss

· Psycho Benefit Fraud

· The Vegetarian Shoemaker Of Barking

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #7

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #3 (Adult Humour)

· The King of the Ribble Delta Blues Singers (humour)

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 19

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 18

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 17


Articles
· Freedom Of Speech And Information - Why It Is So Important

· The Science Fraud: Many Scientific Research Papers Are Pure Gobbledegook

· Maybe You Should Think About Getting a Tinfoil Hat After all

· Merry Atheistmas

· High Brasil: Fairy Tale Or Atlantis

· Captive Minds And Intellectual Cowardice

· Is The Universe Helping Us Think

· Deliberately Wrecking Our Environment

· Why War Is Inevitable

· Helping The Mind Cope With Stress


Poetry
· We Made Love

· The Hands Of Old People

· Time Travellers

· The Pompous Toad

· Bye Bye Blackbird (parody)

· Sleepless Nights Of A Little boy

· Fitness Fanatics Blues

· The Goddess - Anima Mundi

· Spider

· Different Clothes

         More poetry...
News
· Seasons Greetings

· Poetry Life and Times Interviews Janet Caldwell

· Ian Thorpe on Christian Radio. Unbelieveable

· Season's Greetings

· July Poetry Life and Times

· Poetry Life and Times

· Ian's Audio online at last (specially for halloween)

Ian R Thorpe, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

A little British - style satire. Sorry about the colloquialisms, I picked up the style from watching the Beverly Hillbillies Dubya's visit to the Court of St. James.

 

 

 

Howdy Folks,

This here's y'old buddy and President, George Dubya just sending a message from the Yook. The Briddish got a real purty country here but ev'r'things so old I guess folks must be real poor. Y'know the Queen who's a right nice li'l old lady tol' me and Laura her house is better 'n' three hunnerd years old. I think that's a goddam disgrace. An elderly person needs to be somewhere with proper facilities. They should allow her to sell the place and buy a condo.

I would say also that a lot of folks here is prob'ly starving. Last night at dinner they brung me a decent sized plate with a tiny little piece of meat on it, couldn't of been no more'n half a pound. "I didn't ask for no starter, jus' bring me a steak" I tol' the flunky.

He said "that is a steak sir." So I tol' him after the banquet I wanted a Big Mac and Fries. How do people get by on a main course that size.

In the face of such adversity you gotta admire the Briddish people for havin' the morl curge to stand by us in our war on turrism.

I promised Queen Lizzie that the USA would keep right on with our mission to seek out and destroy Sinners of Insurrection aroun' the world and would punish the evil doors and the people of evelyn tent no matter how many turrst bummers they send against us.

It seems some people here lost their morl curg though. Among the thousands lining the streets waving inflatable Trident Missile dolls and pictures of dead evil doors there was some who expressed sympathy for Sinners of Evil and Turrism like Eye - ran and North Korea. The blow up Trident Missile dolls were a mite worrying too. I got nothing against a young guy having a blow up Pammie Anderson doll in his closet, but what the hell pleasure is a boy gonna get from his missile.

Just to show support for our great ally Tony Blair I promised him that if he should be overthrowd by the people of evelyn tent and the surrender monkeys of Yoorp we will go straight in and bum the place until democracy is restored. I guess that would be doin' English folks a favor as it would get rid of those old buildings and they could start over and build a modern nation.

Well gotta go now folks so this is your President signing off from Britain, England.

Yours truly

Dubya.

Glossary:
Yook = U.K.
morl curge = moral courage
evelyn tent = evil intent
evil doors = evil doers
turrst = terrorist
bummers = bombers

People from New England will know what I'm driving at.

 

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Reviewed by Zenith Elliott 11/21/2003
Ian, so much truth entwined within this humor! LOL I love your style! ~Z~

Books by
Ian R Thorpe



Blöd Ties





A Stroke of Luck





Millennium Dawn (anthology)

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