(Please note: This is satire...)
Former Rep. Mark Foley and Ousted Evangelical Leader Ted Haggard Form New Organization
Disgraced former Representative Mark Foley and ousted evangelical leader Ted Haggard stood shoulder-to-shoulder at a press conference yesterday where they announced their alliance in the formation of a new 501(c)(3) non-profit dubbed Right Wing Activists Need Daddy Action (RWANDA).
“We recognize the need for those on the right to express their long-hidden deviant behaviors,” Foley said in a prepared statement. During a question and answer session, Haggard denounced the left for making “a big deal out of some harmless fun.” This was in response to gay and lesbian groups’ condemnation of Haggard and Foley as hypocrites. “If the gays would just acknowledge their deviance and perform whatever filthy acts they like to do in dark restroom corners and in chat rooms like RWANDA members, we could all go on as though this doesn’t exist.”
Foley added that RWANDA would be in the forefront of the opposition to gay marriage because “it’s just dirty” and brings legitimacy to what should be done in secret.
Gay and lesbian advocacy groups quickly distanced themselves from RWANDA. “We have spent the last two decades trying to dispel the damaging perception that gays and lesbians are ‘deviant’ and we will fight RWANDA’s efforts to marginalize us in such a degrading manner,” stated a press release from the gay and lesbian advocacy group Human Rights Campaign.
Haggard shrugged off the criticism. He added that, due to RWANDA’s networking capabilities, he will no longer have to pay for sex with men as he will know at which parks and restrooms others like him will meet and “do it for free.”
(Work published on the Demockeracy website, linked below)