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Julie M. Mataway

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Julie M. Mataway

Erma's Feat
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What Came First? The Chicken or the Egg??
By Julie M. Mataway   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Posted: Sunday, July 02, 2006

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This is what happens to a wannabe biker chick who never sat on a Harley.

I have overwhelming evidence of what we thinking humans--no matter how creative some of us can be convincing ourselves you can get life from nothing--what came first. It is unequivacably the chicken. Uh huh. This is life experience talking. Once upon a time my daughter brought home three little chicks. They were so cute and fluffy and adorable. Having raised children I knew immediately that what once was so cute would grow and change and become something else. I was OK with that. Really. I actually had a little fantasy in my mind of being on a farm. (The biker chick(?!) fantasy never paid off) My mother raised chickens, pigs, vegetables and ten kids so why can't I have some chickens myself? Fresh eggs. Bug eaters. It was a go from the get-go. I protected the babies from the cat and put them outside when they started scaring the cat. He stopped going outside. I sat by the window and smiled. I have been blessed with two hens and one very attractive but vocal rooster. Perfect for reproduction. My daughter gave them cute little names like "Corky" and "Peekaboo" but to me they will always be "Barbeque", "Lemon" and "Teryakki". Okay, back to my scientific study. When they came of age (in polite society that means they were sexually developed) I watched in horror as Barbeque actively raped Lemon, grabbing her by her neck, feathers flying. Regularly. Holy moly, I thought. Can't he work on his methodology?? Ah, then I remembered; he is male, after all. I got used to the squaking and waited patiently for my eggs. New chicks. Family. Farm. Having almost given up, one day one of our female victims dropped a perfectly oval egg on the back porch. She then went about her business of pecking the ground. All day. Now, I live in Phoenix and it is summer so I wonder if the chickens have some pro-human understanding that they don't have to sit on their eggs because it already is 110 outside. Personally, I really expected the hen to sit on the egg. It's what they do, isn't it? Egg #2 came the following day. Followed by egg #3 and now 4. They are dropped in proximity but sat on not. I've vascillated between "go get the heat lamp!" "Go get the heating pad!" "Put them in the fridge!" But frankly, I'm baffled. Am I looking at a really really rotton egg mess or do I just let nature take it's course? Are those two options actually identical? I have been able to conclude, however, that the chicken had to come before the egg. Whether the chicken chose to sit on the egg or some sengient being cared for the egg properly till it hatched--there would be no chickens who lay eggs; no hatchlings to grow up and do the dang things they do to make more chickens. I have drawn my own conclusion; it's the best art I have to offer. Cock-a-doodle-do.  


Reader Reviews for "What Came First? The Chicken or the Egg??"

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Reviewed by Cynthia Borris 12/6/2006

Best argument so far! I give your idea 5-stars!

Reviewed by Jill Carpenter 7/4/2006
Julie, I laughed right out loud as I read this story. You have a wonderful way of looking at especially have a knack for showing us readers a brand new perspective. Your humor is priceless.

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