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Thayne F. Hudson

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Member Since: May, 2006


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This Chair Is Not My Friend.....
By Thayne F. Hudson   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, June 03, 2006
Posted: Saturday, June 03, 2006

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Immobility challenges face multitude of people for various reasons... here is an inspirational article from an elegant woman-of-size who has learned all bends in the road just lead to a different answer.

The wooden ice cream chair at the deli, the itsy bitsy car my daughter drives, the near-mile walk in the heat from parking to hospital room to visit a friend.  The too-high step to get on the romantic hay wagon ride… all fair reasons we become less and less active, less courageous in experiencing our lives.

“This chair is not my friend, I won’t even attempt to sit down.” That is what I told the bank president before we discussed his advertisement in the historical journal I published.  The gentleman, a large person with a solid executive chair behind his desk, brought me a chair like his while chuckling over my comment.

The face-blazing embarrassment of my most intimate moments with chairs makes me quite courageous in the face of their threat.  Comparable to a bad-for-me relationship, I know when to hold up my barrier.  If only younger plus-size women could learn from our chair mishaps, hmmm.

Chair memories… only a few… the night at a fireside circle when my little red chair collapsed to send me sprawling into the dark beyond.  The antique wooden chair at our extended family’s Thanksgiving meal – my own chair in my own home – and then I was on the floor at the head of the table.  “That broken chair wasn’t to leave the barn,” I bluffed.  The chair I sat on to do taxes, sat there for five hours before it crumbled and left me on my back on the floor with my legs sticking straight up like a stiff-jointed doll.  Alone in my home.  I weighed a good bit more then… scrambling from the floor was not an option, but I managed to stand before my husband returned.

Making my world more accessible has been a priority of late.  Perhaps recent changes are results of almost turning fifty.  Perhaps from enough tumbles.  Now antique chairs hold flower pots and my solid, indoor chairs are wide and armless.

Solidity and accessibility is a process that comes with acceptance.  The type of acceptance needed for paring down to clothing that fits us today.   

Consider the purchase of a 5x skirt for elegant receptions, and me saying to a slender clerk, “This skirt is timeless, I will wear it ten years from now.”  The clerk has witnessed a low-end of the scale super-sized woman either decide, accept, or even prefer to still be that size in a decade.

I acknowledge the realm of size diversity.  And I do accept the plush-size, belly-dancer shape of my body.  Lately, like my wardrobe, my chairs reveal acceptance.

The old adages which make life simple are key: Acceptance is the key to all my life problems today… Live in the answer… Beauty is as beauty does…(I think I made up that one.)

My husband is large, I am larger.  Our answers?  We bought a Suburban.  We fit in our Suburban.  We replaced our bathtub with a well-appointed shower stall.  We built porch stairs with only a four-inch rise, gentler on the knees.  Our sofa now has extra height on the legs to make rising easier.  And we definitely do not eat at restaurants where there are only booths, immovable tables, or small chairs.

I am still not completely courageous in experiencing my life.  I do not dance in the regular clubs where a 350-pound middle-aged woman most likely would be ridiculed.  I do not desire to rock climb – the ledges are too narrow to balance - nor do I ever parachute.

But that step at the hayride… this time I am taking my solidly built stepstool to get me all the way up to that main stair on the wagon.  My husband will shove me over the backside if he has to because we are going on that romantic hay ride through the country.

Written by Essa Adamms, ESSA Books

BBW Author Thayne Hudson

Published in Rosemary's Notebook, May 2006


Web Site: Size-enhanced ESSA Books for Big Beautiful People

Reader Reviews for "This Chair Is Not My Friend....."

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Reviewed by m j hollingshead 6/4/2006
poignant read

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