Solidity and accessibility is a process that comes with acceptance. The type of acceptance needed for paring down to clothing that fits us today.
Consider the purchase of a 5x skirt for elegant receptions, and me saying to a slender clerk, “This skirt is timeless, I will wear it ten years from now.” The clerk has witnessed a low-end of the scale super-sized woman either decide, accept, or even prefer to still be that size in a decade.
I acknowledge the realm of size diversity. And I do accept the plush-size, belly-dancer shape of my body. Lately, like my wardrobe, my chairs reveal acceptance.
The old adages which make life simple are key: Acceptance is the key to all my life problems today… Live in the answer… Beauty is as beauty does…(I think I made up that one.)
My husband is large, I am larger. Our answers? We bought a Suburban. We fit in our Suburban. We replaced our bathtub with a well-appointed shower stall. We built porch stairs with only a four-inch rise, gentler on the knees. Our sofa now has extra height on the legs to make rising easier. And we definitely do not eat at restaurants where there are only booths, immovable tables, or small chairs.
I am still not completely courageous in experiencing my life. I do not dance in the regular clubs where a 350-pound middle-aged woman most likely would be ridiculed. I do not desire to rock climb – the ledges are too narrow to balance - nor do I ever parachute.
But that step at the hayride… this time I am taking my solidly built stepstool to get me all the way up to that main stair on the wagon. My husband will shove me over the backside if he has to because we are going on that romantic hay ride through the country.
Written by Essa Adamms, ESSA Books
BBW Author Thayne Hudson
Published in Rosemary's Notebook, May 2006