AuthorsDen.com   Join (Free!) | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
   Services MarketPlace (Free to post!)
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  James Milward, iPinckney Rivers, iRita Hestand, iRichard Orey, iLem Yedowicz, iKen Brosky, iRobert Davis, i

  Home > Parenting > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Lisa Barker

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Stories
· Blog
· 70 Titles
· 38 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Jun, 2006

Lisa Barker, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
A Brownstone in Brookyn
by J.E. Thompson

A Brownstone In Brooklyn chronicles the life-altering events that shape the future of Andy Michael Pilgrim, a young man growing up in the turbulent sixties...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


Featured Book
United Through Love
by Gwendolyn Thomas Gath

WorksOfGath Books ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members





   Recent articles by
Lisa Barker

No Privacy For Mom
Beware of Moving Vehicle - Parent on Board!
Mom lessons 101
This Mom Is Out Of Order
If The Shoe Fits, Hide It
Homemaking Hijinks
One Smart Family
Can I Get An 'N", Vanna?
Potty Training Pirates
Where Cheeseburgers Come From
Funny Things Toddlers Say
Moms Have Their Own Major Food Groups
           >> View all

Dancing The Parent Polka
By Lisa Barker   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Monday, July 09, 2007
Posted: Monday, July 09, 2007

Share    Print   Save    Become a Fan


Meet my son, the evangelist. (Parenting/Humor)

--------------------------------

My son has some amazing latent talent. He has a solid future vocation as an evangelist, politician, psychotherapist or all three and he keeps me two-stepping as I try to parent him.

At age seven he canvassed the neighborhood in an effort to teach our neighbors about the evils of smoking. It turned out that he really took the school’s anti-smoking program to heart and was bent on saving our next-door neighbor in particular. I learned from my older children that every time our neighbor stepped outside to smoke my son was there to thwart him.

I was mortified and, knowing my son, I could just guess how the intervention went.

“You’re gonna die.”

“Thanks, kid.”

“Your lungs are going to get icky and black and your arteries are going to close up.”

I imagine our neighbor staring into space wishing the little bugger would just disappear.

I’m proud that my child knows how harmful smoking is and that he’s chosen not to try it. But I was beside myself because he’d been harassing our neighbor.

“But smoking is bad for you,” he insisted.

“Yes and adults know that, but it’s a very hard habit to break.” Too late I could see the wheels turning in his little head and, let me tell you, ever since that conversation my son has used ‘it’s too hard’ as an excuse every chance he gets.

“Son, why did you sneak candy from the cupboard when I told you not to?”

“Because I wanted some.”

“And I said ‘no’.”

“But it’s just so hard to stop!”

See what I mean? Now teaching him personal accountability is 500 times harder than it should be.

Furthermore, now he has this technique to get me to say what he wants to hear and do what he wants me to do. It’s driving me nuts.

“Mom, what time is it?”

“Five-thirty.”

“Is that dinner I smell cooking?”

“Noooo. I haven’t started it yet.”

“How long ago was lunch?”

“Okay, already! I’m making dinner.” No, wait! What just happened? Why is he telling me what to do? And why am I doing it?

“Mom?”

He’s back. He’s heard the smoke detector and he wants to know if I’ve finished dinner yet and if not, then why not?

“Because it’s too hard?”

“Did you burn it?”

“No, I’m testing the alarms. Hey, is that a laundry basket I see? Whose clothes are those? Isn’t your dresser empty?”

I’m just half of a step ahead of this kid most of the time. I call it the Parent Polka. Two steps forward and one step back. Now if I could just get him to develop a talent for dancing the tango we might really make some progress.

. . . . . . . . . . .
©Lisa Barker - Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker, mother of five and author of "Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane... Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" and is syndicated through Parent To Parent™. To publish Jelly Mom™, buy the book or leave comments, please visit http://www.jellymom.com. Sign up for the complimentary Jelly Mom™ weekly newsletter and receive a BONUS GIFT!

Web Site: Jelly Mom - Parenting Humor



Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!





Father knows best Phil In His Words. by Tuchy (Carl) Palmieri

“Phil In His Words” Is an interactive workbook to record the timeless words of one’s Father. Who can dispute the words of wisdom giving by a loving father? Phil Palmieri was Bor..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


More Tales of Seamus the Sheltie by James Beverly

The newly announced More Adventures of Seamus the Sheltie is the sequel to the nationally award-winning book, The Adventures of Seamus the Sheltie. The author received many request..  
Featured BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.