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Juliet Waldron

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Serial Bob
by Juliet Waldron   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Posted: Wednesday, July 01, 2009

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We have a serial killer in the neighborhood.

We have a bulkhead next to a small extension at the back of our house. Between bulkhead and laundry is about a foot and half of pavement. This has become the place where our local serial killer lays out his victims.

I tend to let cats in and out at this back door, where I’m sort of tucked inside, facing the patio and a fence. This is often the first view of my yard I have in the morning, but I’ve learned not to look around the door at the area between the bulkhead and the house until well after I’ve had my coffee.

Our ex-stray cat has decided that this is the place to leave displays of his night’s work. Right now, fortunately, he’s apparently on hiatus, but earlier this spring when everything was young, tender, and frisking with joy, he was busy. The “work” that always impresses us most is the squirrels, full grown ones that he lugs in for us to admire. He used to eat them whole back when he was on the lam, but now just the head seems to be satisfactory. What’s the zombie joke? “Brainssssss!” Anyway he caught four squirrels this spring, great big plush grown-ups who should have known better.

I don’t feel too sorry about them, because we’ve got a ton of squirrels who are up to no good with my bulbs and gardens. I do mourn the bunnies and chipmunks he catches, but what purely I hate, what I yell about, are the song birds. Worst and most heinous of all his crimes this spring, he ate my adorable jazz-master catbird in his fine, gray Wall Street suit. He crunched house finches around the bird feeder like potato chips, so that I gave up putting seeds into it. He brought me a darling Carolina Wren in his mouth, held so carefully that when I coaxed it away from him, the wren took flight straight from my hand. I hope very much that his/her rattling little bold scolding self survived the ordeal. This cat of mine could give Sylvester a bad name!

Web Site: Juliet Waldron

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Reviewed by Patricia Martin 8/17/2009
Nah, he's not a serial killer, he's just paying his rent. Daily. And on time. Which is more than you can expect from human tenants! Go, Bob!!

Reviewed by Gene Williamson 7/2/2009
Juliet, perhaps what you need is a Blue Jay in the neighborhood
to sound the alarm. -gene.

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