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The main characters in my book, Keepin' It Tight have a communication breakdown that causes insecurities to creep into their relationship, so I wrote this article to expound on how communication is the #1 key to a successful relationship.
"I stopped talking to my man about the things that matter to me the most a long time ago because he's not interested." Hopeless Wifey.
"My woman refuses to listen to my needs, so I don't see anything wrong with getting it somewhere else." Hubby Getting It How I Can.
Have you ever tried to hold a conversation with someone and they just went on and on...and on, barely taking two seconds to listen to a word you had to say? This style of communication is one-sided and at the end of the day the person you are talking to doesn't know one thing about how you feel.
Do you work long hours, always consumed with work, your dreams and barely have time for your spouse? Or does your spouse do this?
These are both examples of a breakdown in communication. Whether it is a career choice, school, having children, or buying a house, most people have dreams and visions of what they want out of life. It is very important when you chose to spend the rest of your life with someone that they share your goals, or will at least support you in accomplishing them. Does this mean your dreams become theirs? No. But they must at least be supportive in order for you to reach your highest potential.
So what about the opposites attraction theory? Most opposites attract relationships are all good in the beginning and some even until the very end; however, it is paramount that you connect with someone that has similar interests as you do. If someone claims to love you they should also value what's important to you...enough to talk to you about it, so that your attempts at communication wont be mistaken for nagging or provoking argument.
The million dollar question: Why is it so hard to just talk... and furthermore listen each other? Communicate. There are MANY answers to this question. It must first be understood that communication is not just talking and hearing words, it is also listening and absorbing the magnitude of what your partner is trying to relay to you.
From my experience, the breakdown of communication comes when one party does not feel like their points are even being or considered.
In Keepin' It Tight, Cornelius Johnston is a workaholic that is always away on business trips with his sexy protege and his wife is left to figure out what is what on her own. With him always being too tired to talk, or working late, she naturally thinks the worse and finds herself in an irreversible situation.